Joe Cole's to the right
"That's the best bit of play we've seen all evening."
"Only."
England 3 Hungary 1
Pre-World Cup friendly at Old Trafford, BBC1; just the ticket to get us in the mood, and a good chance to see England's form. Especially useful if you don't follow league football and never see players like Peter Crouch or Joe Cole (I don't even know who they play for!), and a nice way of getting back into recognising the ones you remember from Euro 2004. This is the beauty of being an England fan. The abject misery of the same is the way they play, and the first 40 minutes of tonight's match were a parody of the frustration inherent in this weird, non-nationalistic loyalty: they just couldn't get past Hungary's red shirts. And then, out of the blue, Michael Owen (who's really growing into his face) missed a cracking cross from Beckham and in the confusion, Steven Gerrard fell over and England were awarded a penalty they didn't deserve, which Frank Lampard had the decency to miss. But at least it woke everybody up, and the next thing we knew, after what must have been an inspirational half-time team-talk from the Swede who doesn't punch the air, Gerrard (on his 26th birthday - although he looks about 36 with that lined face of his) scored off another Beckham cross. John Terry, the defender with no surname but a pair of recently-delivered twins, took us up to 2 by rubbing his hair off the ball sufficient to knock it in. The Hungarians pulled one back while I was out of the room, probably checking MySpace but - following a couple of experimental substitutions (Gerrard and Owen off for the freakish Crouch and 17-year-old whizz kid Theo Walcott) - England nailed it with a third. This came from giant Peter Crouch, whose limbs seem to just swing around behind the rest of his body, but managed to do so behind the ball at just the right moment. Beckham got a yellow card just before the end to prove he isn't Gary Linecker.
In all, an entertaining match, despite commentator Mark Lawrenson's gloomy comment which I have used as the headline, uttered at the end of the first half. I got sick of seeing the electronic adverts for Pepsi with "NO SUGAR" (yes, but just have a look at what else it's got in it, idiots!) and some of the passing was as maddening as is traditonal, but it was good to see this Walcott boy on the pitch, and breaking a record too, as he's actually 17 and 75 days old, and Rooney was 17 and 111 days old when he made his international debut. Let's hope Sven gives him a run next Friday against Paraguay, when, let me see, yes, we're down to win. Joe Cole looks like Johnny Knoxville. Owen Hargreaves can't be serious about that hair. And Mark Lawrenson doesn't like any of the World Cup songs. He said so. John Motshon (correct spelling) said this after Terry's goal - "He's recently given birth to twins, but this was a very different kind of ... " he actually said, " ... ocassion," but he wanted to say, "a very different kind of ... birth. Through the canal of football, with a placenta of goal."
OK, into it now, Official. Match reports promised for all of England's games. These will be easy to ignore as they will have thumbnails of footballers at the top of them.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 10:05 PM
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22 Comments:
What a fool Ian Wright is!
I'm not an Englishman. Well this is not to do with his hair, but I think there's an element of racism in the treatment he gets from the English meedja - a montage by the BBC to prove how rotten he is and Wright making derogatory comments too.
Andrew, it is obvious you don't watch that much football from some of your comments. Yes, England didn't play very well and their passing was, at times, poor. However, Hungary did have practically their whole team behind the ball for most of the game. You try playing penetrating football when you have 9-11 opposing men in a third of the pitch.
Not directed at you necessarily, but it does rile me a touch when people who claim they don't really like/watch football then comment on how rubbish England are etc. etc.
For one, how do they know if they don't watch football. Also, they expect some miracle from England because they read all the rubbish hype in the papers about how England are going to win the world cup this time.
As much as I wish England well, I'm not a massive footy fan and let's face it - we're not going to win it.
To me, this can only be a good thing because already the over-excitedness of the nation is grating. Grown men in football shirts (when not at a match) is a particular pet hate of mine, as are endless England flags flying from cars and stuck up in windows, paper flags given away in newspapers and every product going having some World Cup connection.
It's all very jolly now, but the minute we get knocked out everyone loses interest and it's not spoken of again.
It is of course the 1990 World Cup that's to blame for this explosion in football mania. Before that, no one really gave much a of toss, especially women. The female football fan is a particular irritation. Thesedays it seems, if you don't like football then you're some sort of freak.
Let's hope it's all over soon and we can all get back to normal. Unless by some bizarre chance we actually do win it.
Sorry, I was rattling on about Owen Hargreaves above.
A useful effort from Andrew there, from the living room (if you want to be a 21st century renaissance man you probably have to try football-punditry sometime). Not enough match reports include sentences like, ' Hungary pulled one back while I was out of the room,' and yet it happens all the time - I missed 3 of last night's goals. For the record I think Gareth Southgate could still play the midfield holding role - as he should've been for the last decade. They were bullying Owen Hargreaves and it wasn't nice, apparently he's highly rated in Germany... how did they get on?
England 3 Hungary 1
I thought Owen Hargreaves deserved the comments as he didn't play very well. Neither did Carragher in the holding role, and they him a rough ride at half time as well. Its the nature of punditry. At least they're not going on and on about how BRILLIANT everyone is, like that fool Motson, who should have been retired by now.
Alfie, if I may say so, and with all due respect, that's a very snobby view. I have made it clear that I don't follow league football and am not a football fan. However, I always watch England, so surely I'm entitled to have an opinion on England? Actually, even if I didn't, I'm entitled to an opinion. That would be like someone saying a film was crap and me telling them their opinion was worthless or invalid because I've seen more films than them. If I was pretending to know loads about football then that would be embarrassing but I think I've set out my stall fairly honestly. England constantly let us down, internationally. They show promise but don't follow through. I don't borrow my opinions from the media. In fact, I don't even read what the newspapers say about football. I didn't know anything about the Hargreaves thing, for instance.
Andrew,
I think Scott Walker's analysis of the game last night was spot on, actually....
Well, apart from the foot knee shaggy belly stuff, obviously....
Love on ya,
Bob
It's refreshing to read something that isn't repeating what someone else has repeated. By the way there was no sarcasm in my last but one post. Germany drew by the way, though I'm not anti-German.
I have a couple of friends who, like Andrew, only take a real interest in the game every two years when an international tournament comes along.
At the last world cup it annoyed me a bit that they suddenly had these strong opinions (eg, Beckham's foot, 4-4-2/ 4-4-3 etc..) and I found myself being a bit snobby with them "what do you know? etc...
A further 4 years of pain and disappointment as a Leeds United season ticket holder, however, has taught me that the opinions of people new to the game are probably more valid and refreshing than those of hardened pros, like myself, I suppose.
Andrew you certainly may say so. Fair comment. As you say, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Me included!
I didn't mean to come across as snobby about the comments on football. I was just stating what happens. I don't read the papers, but that doesn't mean I don't know what they are doing as I hear what other people are saying and those people read the papers. You just can't get away from it. Judging from your radio show, even you see the England hype in the papers - and it doesn't necessarily appear in the sports section.
Your comment "England constantly let us down, internationally." is exactly the type of comment I was referring to. If you think England constantly let us down then you must think they can do far better than they do. But what are you basing this on? There are many teams that are far superior to England in every aspect of the game, so why should England do better than they have? If someone watches more football than someone else, they will have more knowledge on the game and can tell whether one thing is better than another. Both people can say whether they thought the game was good or not and as with all opinion, neither are wrong.
Sorry if I may have insulted you, or anyone else, that was not my intention. Can we still swap shirts at the end!
Alfie, to get technical, something I am ill-equipped to do, England let us down because the cumulative effect of their individual skills often fails to cohere into a successful whole - something that cannot be said of other national sides. But who am I to make such an observation? I am basing this only on having watched England play many times in many tournaments, against other teams who seem to have more staying power and are more consistent. I am looking forward to the World Cup. Don't ruin my fun!
Andrew, touche (with an accent on the e)!
If only I was as eloquent as you, my wittering wouldn't take up as much space!
Andrew, sorry, for some reason I feel I have to add this - You must be basing your views on things other than just watching England games, otherwise how do you know the England players are individually skillful? If you just watched England on Tuesday for instance, you may think that Peter Crouch is a good player - on as sub and scored after 5 minutes - but anyone who watches football regularly will know that Crouch very rarely shows any signs of a player who is good enough to play for his country. And similarly, Frank Lampard doesn't always show the individual presence and play for England as he has done for his club.
On the contrary, I am basing my observations of Peter Crouch exclusively on seeing him play on Tuesday, as I have never even knowingly seen a picture of him before, let alone move about and kick a bill. He actually seems all gangly and wrong, but he clearly has some talent. I have never ever seen Wayne Rooney kick a ball for anyone except England, and he is quite clearly a little powerhouse, like Gazza used to be, and I understand why his absence is problematic. However, for a team to live or die on the presence of one talismanic player seems nuts to me. (I'm sure all these observations must be winding you up, but they are all I have.) From watching England this time and the previous couple of tournaments I observe that Beckham is a rock-solid passer of the ball and taker of penalties (except when he falls over), and he seemed to be the best player on the pitch on Tuesday. And Michael Owen seems to have lost his mojo. Am I right? Or did I read that in the papers I don't read?
"...And Michael Owen seems to have lost his mojo." - now I know you are wrong here. With the reputation footballers have for their music, I'm sure Michael Owen wouldn't even look at Q, let alone buy Mojo magazine!!
What reputation do footballers have for their music?
I'm sure Pat Nevin more than makes up for the rest of them.
Anon, footballers are notorious for only liking soul or rap music and they all seem to like the same stuff.
What makes Pat Nevin so special?
Pat Nevin listened to John Peel and particularly liked the Cocteau Twins, I believe.
Point of order Andrew. England are playing Paraguay on Saturday and not Friday as suggested by you in the Blog and by the News of the World's World Cup Wallchart pull out last week.
As an Englishman who has lived in Scotland for over 25 years, I would LIKE England to do well but the thought of having to hear about it for next 40 years means I'll be dragging out my Trinidad and Tobago top and supporting the underdogs. Predcition: England to lose to a decent team in the quarter-finals.
Paul
Dunfermline
Pat Nevin said he'd rather go onto an Arts show than Question of Sport. He was also at the recent Edinburgh gig by Roddy Frame.
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