Pleased to meet you?
Paddy . . .
. . . meet Pepper
Well, it's been emotional, and far from decisive, but Pepper has now officially met the new arrival. We've read all the books, and, despite plenty of clashing advice, they do seem to agree that it's a delicate process, introducing a new kitten to a reigning adult cat. (The reason we got a boy was because adult females are supposed to feel less threatened by them.) Paddy's been in the house for over a week now, largely in his room, but over the last few days we've allowed and encouraged him to explore, while Pepper has been sleeping in her bedroom and thus unaware, or when she's out in the garden. His smell is certainly all over the house now, which must be helpful. She's seen him through the patio doors and looked put out. She also saw him through the glass-panelled kitchen door and gave an unholy growl. This, all the books insist, is normal.
Now Paddy's had the run of the house, it seems unfair to keep locking him back in one room, so we are keen to let him roam, but at the same time, we don't want them meeting unsupervised, and we don't want Pepper bashing him on the head. Yesterday, he wandered into her bedroom while she was under the bed. They came face to face at last. Pepper hissed. (Normal.) She let out a deep, guttural growl. (Normal.) But Paddy's reaction was superb - he approached her gingerly (not bad for a tabby), and respectfully. He didn't cross the line. She kept on growling, but didn't move. He held back, looking about as pert and friendly and unthreatening as a small potential pal could. Eventually, he sat down and spread out, totally submissive and calm. They regarded each other for quite a while. The growl rumbled on.
They met again this morning, in the same place. Again, he was cute and fearless but held back. It's clear he's not scared of her (he was raised well and in a good, noisy house, for his first seven and a half weeks). She is still very unhappy about his presence. She hissed again, every time he approached. He eventually scuttled back his his room.
To his credit, these encounters have not dented his confidence. He still roams the house with head and tail held high. They crossed paths again in the kitchen this afternoon: more hissing and guttural sounds, more devil-may-care olive branch reaction. It's early days yet. We're making sure Pepper knows she is the queen of the house, and reassurring her at every stage. Paddy is bombproof. We don't need to worry about him.
I don't know if anybody else has any stories or experience about socialising cats . . . I'd be interested to hear them. It's quite stressful at the moment, and time-consuming, but it has to be worth it.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 2:07 PM
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10 Comments:
Hi Andrew, it all sounds fine and I don't think you have much to worry about. It is all a matter of time for Pepper now to get used to having him around.
I had a middle-aged female cat and I introduced two kittens (both female) to her and there were a few spats and hisses and scratches - but all worked out once everyone knew their place in the pecking order. I reckon in a matter of weeks, maybe days, you will find Pepper grooming Paddy!
You could always try the old method of dressing up as a lion and appearing at the window of a room that you've placed them in especially. With their attentions off each other they should bond subconsciously in opposition to you. Make sure that you conclude by crawling away submissively.
Before you try that, note that he didn't say "simple simon said." (And thanks to my neighbours for pointing that out.)
Bah, if it wasn't for those meddling neighbours...
has this comment page gone a bit obscure and Zen or is it me?
When we introduced Sybil to the leader of the house, Felix, the growling turned to bored disdain, which in turn became acceptance, then all was well. The whole process took two weeks maximum. If I remember correctly.
My children were introduced to me in much the same way.
Lots of spitting, suspicious glances, marking of territory.
I'm almost housetrained.
Our cat went into a three-week sulk when we got another one and took up almost-permanent residence behind the sofa, but he eventually got used to her and they got on fine (though Ben was always the boss!)
I like Pepper - she doesn't look like a cat you'd want to mess with!
Px
We have a certain amount of analogous experience (though not with tiddlers), from which we derive the following FWIWs:
1. It will always involve hissing. It will invariably involve a certain amount of fur flying (I used to think that phrase was figurative...). In severe cases, it may involve nose-wounds. In short, it will involve all sorts of shit that's really unpleasant to witness. But remember you're trying to make it easy for the cats, not for yourself. The cats will sort it out. So long as you can reassure yourself that it's just the hierarchy hierarchising itself, it's nothing to avoid. Of course, you will and should intervene to stop a kitten being assaulted by a whopper but, by minimising interference, you're helping them to get the hang of each other, even if it's not in exactly the way you'd prefer.
2. If and when Pepper gets proper fed up, she will register her discontent in ways you will detect with your nose, not your ears. Sounds like you're doing everything in your power to reassure her, and that should be plenty. I'd make sure you have clean bed-linen on standby, just in case, mind.
3. No matter how ugly it gets, I promise there is hope for a peaceful future. When we first introduced our two boys, they embarked on a protracted, violent stand-off that had us consulting feline behaviourists from several counties away, and now look at them...
This is reassuring! I picked up a new kitten, Buster, yesterday. My other cats are less than impressed. Molly(8) refuses point blank to emerge from under the bed, even for food. The boys Barley (8) and Werthers (4), disappear outside whenever there is no food on offer. I find it all really distressing. Buster is full of it and pretty much unaffected and I would love to keep him but my residents are the priority, at what point is the situation irretrievable?
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