England's ten men
World Cup 2006: the roof is on, but the gloves are off
Nobody can pronounce Gelsenkurchen. It was another perspirational day at home, and in Germany (33 degrees, I think), but the roof of the stadium was on and there were no ugly shadows on the pitch for England's all-important quarter final. Apparently we beat Portugal 10-0, but in something like 1948. I personally started the day with a session in the skip (and I mean in it, pulling an old sofa into the middle), then a session in the gym, followed by a concerted effort to finish this Radio Times before the pre-match warm-up. I failed in that regard.
England 0 Portugal 0 (1-3 on penalties)
Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Predictable really. First half: rotten. After an early burst of energy we settled onto the back foot and revealed the cracks in Sven's system: Rooney on his own, isolated, up front, Lampard and Gerrard apparently confused as to their actual jobs, the likes of Rio Ferdinand valiantly lamping it up the field to ... nobody in particular (actually, to one person in particular, but he can't be everywhere). Beckham laid on a poor corner and a poor free kick in short order, giving ammunition to those who say he's past his best and only there because Sven fancies him, and we allowed Portugal to lord it over us, with Ronaldo The Younger apparently teasing the England defence at one stage. (Hard to remember exactly when, as he was up in our box so often in the first half.) Alan Hansen spoke of a tightness in the stomach before kickoff, but I don't get that beforehand, I get it during, when England fail to cohere and back-pass constantly, but the failing here is a structural one. What are eleven men to do? Ironically, we turned on the heat in the second half, but only after Wayne Rooney had been red-carded for either a) deliberately treading on Carvalho's goolies, or b) pushing Ronaldo in anger during the huddle afterwards. I only hope it was the former, but it looked in the replays like the latter, in which case, at least he can be proud of not being in a team that shops you to the ref and begs for free kicks and punishments. He can be proud of little else, although pundits up and down the land will be making excuses for him - he was frustrated at not getting the through-balls. Fair enough, but try not to tread on people's knackers in a quarter final, you dimwit. Still, his absence made the team grow stronger, with Crouch on and Aaron Lennon proving lithe and nifty on the right, and for the remainder of the game, plus the half-hour extra time, England were on form we simply haven't seen. Also, Portugal made no capital from our being a man down. None at all. When it came to the inevitable penalties though, we were disadvantaged: no Beckham (he'd been taken off for Lennon, and cried the tears of a man who knew this was his last World Cup), no Rooney ... still, we had Lampard, the man who has marked his World Cup by not scoring. He missed. They scored. Then Owen Hargreaves got one past Ricardo. They missed (hit the post, indeed). We had a chance. Then Carragher, who'd been put on specially by Sven, scored one before the whistle blew and missed the real thing. Paul Robinson put up a good fight, but Ricardo was spectacularly good at getting between our shots and his goal. They scored again. Then Stevie Gerrard missed. They scored, and this time it was the smug Ronaldo who sealed our fate and put the WAGs back on the plane.
Brazil 0 France 1
Who cares, eh? Who cares about the rest of the World Cup now we're out of it? Well, I certainly do. At last, we can relax and enjoy some truly world-class football. Even though my favourites, France, failed to take the lead against Brazil in the first half, it was an entertaining 45 minutes, with great passing, loads of shots on goal, some amazing footwork by the likes of Zidane and Vieira and Ronaldinho and Makelele and Cafu, and that's what it's all about. If France were good in the first half, they were sublime in the second, with a perfectly formed goal from Henry, the one he seemed destined to score, and Brazil just unable to catch up, even in the dying minutes when they got a spurt on. At one stage, although it didn't amount to a second goal, the display of passing the French laid on caused David Pleat to declare, "the best football I've seen all tournament." No argument there. It warms the cockles to see football like this (from both sides), and makes England's scrappy performance seem all the less worthy of getting them this far. Only Ukraine deserved to be in the quarter finals less. I say, bravo the old men of France, a number of whom won't be playing again after this one. I understand Zidane came out of retirement because of a dream. And now he is one.
Final analysis then: England played better than Portugal after Rooney went off in the 62nd, but across the tournament they have provided only lumpy football, constantly underachieving due to Sven's insane decision only to bring four strikers, one of them a child, the other a freak, and moving the goalposts pretty much every match. (Actually, maybe he should have moved the goalposts.) Say we had got through today, Rooney would have been on the bench in disgrace at the semi against France, and we would have had to rely on Crouch and Walcott, who sound like a firm of funeral directors. Had Rooney stayed on tonight, presumably we would have carried on being average for the remainder, and Ronaldo or Figo or Miguel or Maniche would have put one past us.
I recognise this feeling. Many of the individual English players can go home feeling pleased with their individual performances - Paul Robinson, Joe Cole, John Terry - but therein lies the problem.
Oh, sorry, Peter Crouch's mum says he isn't a freak. Sorry about that.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 4:54 PM
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The mood of many cannot have been helped by the music/action montage at the end of the programme on BBC1. As if the loyal viewer didn't feel depressed enough, the defeat was soundtracked by the rather bleak (butlovely) Numb from the Pet Shop Boys, blimey, why not go the whole hog and play "I Know It's Over" by The Smiths.
Still, on a brighter note, Andy Murray was fantastic, and Doctor Who was great too. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.
Never mind the Pet Shop Boys, the BBC's England montage before the game was Atmosphere by Joy Division! ("Leave . . . in silence . . . ")
And yes, Doctor Who was pretty good, despite preponderence of Rose's Mum, who I'm not that keen on.
Don't want to single out Lampard but I thought he looked ashen after extra-time. I was worried about him taking a penalty anyway having missed one etc, but I do think his performances might have been more effected by the heat than others. Same might be true of Beckham. Heat hits some harder than others. Before the penalties I had the awful thought that one would have to be re-taken - possibly one that Robinson saves but is then scored on the re-take. Then Carragher has to re-take... we all knew he'd miss didn't we? Thought Lennon should've taken one. What a star he could be.
Well England were strange today. Average up to the time when Rooney sent off, having seen a few times now I'm sure it was for the push, which if correct was a shocking call by an otherewise good ref.
However after that England played some great football and I have to say that Crouch was fantastic, he held the ball up as well as anyone we have seen over the last 3 weeks (that's anyone - not just England) as for Hargreaves - top class, really did not deserve to be on the losing side.
Portugal are so frustrating, wonderful players playing the game with such mean spirit. Let's home that France whack them in the next game. How good were France though? What a joy to watch the passing and movement. We were lucky to see another great performance form Zidane tonight, does he have another couple left in him? I really hope so, no one else comes close to him on that form.
It was nice to go out this afternoon and be able to cross roads without having to wait for a break in the traffic. The park was eerily quiet without the massive amounts of people playing matches with jumpers for goal posts. I got back in time for the penalties. It must have been nail-biting for those who were there since kick-off. Is it just me who feels sorry for the keepers?
That Rooney shot was a beautiful one. I don't think people realize that even though the guy was on the ground, that doesn't necessarily make his groin an easy target. Men guard that area very carefully, like a bear does with honey, but sometimes a very smart donkey can steal the bear's honey through a mix of guile and willpower. Rooney was that donkey.
I suspect most of the English nation now wish that the tabloid readers, with their Rooney masks on, hadn't willed the little neds foot better in time!
Things can only get better without Sven.
Does anybody know where I can find the track that was used in the very sad England montage at the end of Match Of The Day?
The one at the end was NUMB by the Pet Shop Boys, it's on their new album Fundamental. Apparantly, it was originally written for Aerosmith, but they turned it down.
Thanks, Gari. Just got it off iTunes. It's a lovely song, quite unusual for the Pet Shop Boys. Then again, I can't really imagine Aerosmith singing it either! I see it's written by Diane Warren, who seems to be a bit of a conveyor belt for these type of songs.
The montage, featuring the PSB track is on youtube - if you can bare to watch...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RaWvQGVPGI&search=Numb
Cannot see why you are all so disappointed about getting beat by Portugal. To be honest England played rubbish for most of the tournament and were lucky to make it beyond the group stages. You made it two stages further than you should have. Cannot see McLaren improving the team much.
True, we had a fortunate draw but we deserved to win that game more than Portugal, in my opinion of course.
I thought that neither of the two teams on show deserved to be in a semi-final. Italy are the only team in the semi-final who were perhaps expected to make it there.
Prudence, how can you feel sorry for the keepers? There's no pressure on them, they're not expected to make saves. It's only nice if they do.
Does anyone feel that David Beckham making his announcement is just a gimmick to get back in the headlines?
O/T From today's show Andrew and it's clearly a trivial point, why did chocolate all have to be lumped together? That gives Cadbury's the chance to be praised along with the much better chocolates. Indeed, I am single-handedly trying to lead a revolt against Cadbury's and the dross they market as chocolate.
It was a tough call, SJ. We had a lot of votes for just "chocolate" and then others for brands, such as Cadbury's, and Green & Black's (which is owned by Cadbury's, so it's a vote for them either way). We felt it best to add them together, otherwise the vote would have been split to the point where flying saucers would have won, even though more people preferred chocolate. We kept Creme Eggs separate, as they're eggs, and Turkish Delight, as that's more than chocolate, but neither got enough votes to reach the top 3. Such responsibility. I don't even eat chocolate.
I voted for Sweet Peanuts and I was delighted with their third placing. Some would say that the "chocolate" produced in this country isn't really chocolate. In the same way that the English national football side isn't a football team.
I take I was the only person in favour of Pacers then. Fair enough.
Maybe I should've gone for the Tobermory Tattie instead.
Having been on the verge of tears from the point when Becks limped off the pitch, I was still a bit surprised to find myself sobbing through the penalties and the montage afterwards.
I knew we weren't going to win the cup. I'd hoped that when we went it would be because we had been outclassed. Not so. Portugal were a prime example of bad sportsmanship, I hope France trounce them.
I'm not bitter.
BTW Sugar letters are top!
Rooney was very obviously sent off for the stamp: the referee made a clear stamping gesture to indicate that was the case, so I can't quite understand why anyone still thinks otherwise.
SJ,Italy were really not expected to get to the semi-finals: every Italian I know was incredibly pessimistic about the team's chances. The team seem to have responded really well to this feeling of adversity & continuing events at home (Pessotto's suicide attempt last week the latest). People are starting to tip them now though & I do worry that with renewed expectations they'll revert to customary self-destrust mode.
"Crouch and Walcott, who sound like a firm of funeral directors"
Brilliant.
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