Is anybody else deeply embarrassed by the off-duty conversation caught on mic in St Petersburg between President Bush and Tony Blair? I am. That said, I also find it fascinating, as we so very rarely catch any kind of meaningful glimpse of their fabled relationship beyond stage-managed bonhomie at Crawford Ranch and formal joint press conferences, during which they exchange smiles like teenage lovers, but what does it actually tell us about these two men and the way they regard one another?

Bush Yo, Blair. How are you doing?
Yo, Blair? Is this a form of address our Prime Minister approves of? Does it not give him flashbacks to public school? Maybe he likes it. Maybe it speaks to him of informality, when actually it sounds to me like Bush is saying, "Here, boy!" Let us vow never to forget this greeting. This is the crux of their relationship, and thus, a key to everything that's precarious about global politics.
Blair I'm just ...
Bush You're leaving?
Yes, Mr President, he's fucking leaving. Just off, like that, mid-G8. Bye!
Blair No, no, no not yet. On this trade thingy ... [inaudible]
I know Blair's big thing is to downplay, act like "one of us", with his shirtsleeves and his glottal stops, but sometimes, just sometimes, to describe something as a "thingy" kind of, I don't know, belittles it somehow. Maybe, in his defence, this is the only language the President of the United States of America understands.
Bush Yeah, I told that to the man.
The man? Is that the best he can do? Which man? The nice man with the moustache? The fat man with the bald head? The funny lookin' man with the mane of grey hair? Specify.
Blair Are you planning to say that here or not?
Bush If you want me to.
Wait! Blair's not Bush's poodle after all! Bush is asking permission from Blair to say a thing to a man!
Blair Well, it's just that if the discussion arises ...
Bush I just want some movement.
Blair Yeah.
Bush Yesterday we didn't see much movement.
Blair No, no, it may be that it's not, it may be that it's impossible.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Bush I am prepared to say it.
You are prepared to say a vague thing to an unidentified man? Who said these summits are toothless talking shops?
Blair But it's just I think what we need to be an opposition...
Bush Who is introducing the trade?
Blair Angela [Merkel, the German chancellor].
Bush Tell her to call 'em.
Yeah, Blair, tell the lady to call them. Let's have some action here.
Blair Yes.
Surely, "Yo, Bush!"
Bush Tell her to put him on, them on the spot. Thanks for [inaudible] it's awfully thoughtful of you.
This refers to a jumper Blair gave Bush as a present. Something woolly. How appropriate.
Blair It's a pleasure.
Bush I know you picked it out yourself.
Blair Oh, absolutely, in fact [inaudible].
Apparently Blair jokes, "I knitted it." What fun they have.
Bush What about Kofi? [inaudible] His attitude to ceasefire and everything else ... happens.
It's hard to see why the situation in the Lebanon appears so intractable when great minds like this are discussing it in such a forthright manner.
Blair Yeah, no I think the [inaudible] is really difficult. We can't stop this unless you get this international business agreed.
Bush Yeah.
Blair I don't know what you guys have talked about, but as I say I am perfectly happy to try and see what the lie of the land is, but you need that done quickly because otherwise it will spiral.
The Prime Minister of Great Britain seems to be offering to nip over to Israel to see what the lie of the land is. Flat, I think you'll find.
Bush I think Condi is going to go pretty soon.
She gets a nickname based on her first name. No "Yo, Rice!" for the ladies. Respect due.
Blair But that's, that's, that's all that matters. But if you ... you see it will take some time to get that together.
Bush Yeah, yeah.
Glad you understand, Mr Bush.
Blair But at least it gives people ...
Bush It's a process, I agree. I told her your offer to ...
Blair Well ... it's only if I mean ... you know. If she's got a ... or if she needs the ground prepared as it were ... Because obviously if she goes out, she's got to succeed, if it were, whereas I can go out and just talk.
Talk like that and you'll have the crisis solved in a jiffy.
Bush You see, the ... thing is what they need to do is to get Syria, to get Hizbullah to stop doing this shit and it's over.
Why Syria don't just do this simple thing, I don't know. It's almost as if ... it's more complicated than that.
Blair Syria.
Bush Why?
What do you mean, "Why?" You said Syria first.
Blair Because I think this is all part of the same thing.
Bush Yeah.
Blair What does he think? He thinks if Lebanon turns out fine, if we get a solution in Israel and Palestine, Iraq goes in the right way ...
Who is "he"? We don't know for certain. Possibly Bashar al-Assad of Syria, as he gets a namecheck in a moment: "Yo, Assad!"
Bush Yeah, yeah, he is sweet.
Sweet as!
Blair He is honey. And that's what the whole thing is about. It's the same with Iraq.
Wait a minute. Did Blair just describe another world leader as "honey"? Is he trying to get in with Bush by talking downhome shit? Or should there be a comma, as in, "He is, Honey"?
Bush I felt like telling Kofi to call, to get on the phone to Assad and make something happen.
Blair Yeah.
Yeah!
Bush We are not blaming the Lebanese government.
Blair Is this ... ? [at this point Blair taps the microphone in front of him and the sound is cut.]

Boo! We were just geting into that! I could honestly listen to these two all day.