Overlong John Silver
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Felt like some easy entertainment last night, so wandered down to the Screen and caught Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 in what must be its fourth week of release. I really enjoyed the knockabout maritime fun of the first one, and this was essentially more of the same swashbuckling hokum with CGI monsters and bad teeth, except it was so much less at the same time. It ticked all the boxes: Johnny Depp reminding us that he thought of Russell Brand before Russell Brand did, Keira Knightley making that weird pouting face that everybody seems to love, Orlando Bloom with his pathetic bum-fluff doing his Errol Flynn bit, lots of cannon fire and creaking decks, a big fight in a rough bar, a parrot, a monkey, some comedy gurning deckhands, including Mackenzie Crook with his wooden eye, and a satisfying ending that ties up all the separate story strands. Hang on, don't tick that box, as when the inordinately indulgent 150-minute running time is finally up, they just stop the film, throwing in a cliffhanger to make sure you tune in again next year.
I know they made Parts 2 and 3 back-to-back - the studio accountants love that kind of economy - but did they have to conceive of them as two halves of the same story? What a swiz. Also, there's a big octopus-like sea creature in this one, the Kracken, which is pretty impressive the first time it attacks the ship with its computerised tentacles, but less so the second time, and the third. In a film that's at least 20 minutes too long, that's one Kracken attack too many isn't it? (Jason And The Argonauts rolled out a new monster for each new sequence and that was all done by hand.) Naomi Harris was good as the Jamaican witch, and Tom Hollander too as the starchy villain. Bill Nighy might have been good as Davy Jones, with his octopus face, but it was difficult to tell under that deft blend of latex and pixels. He was a voiceover artist really, and well paid, I hope, for his troubles. The best bits were the out-and-out action sequences that took place in daylight, like the swordfight between Bloom, Depp and Jack Davenport on the rolling millwheel. Great stuff. I'd have liked more of that please. And less interminable sequences at night, on board the pirate ship, with all those crusty CGI blokes made out of bits of other sea creatures.
I might have let it off a few of these points of order if it had had an ending. Like proper films. I've a good mind not to go and see Part 3, That'll show 'em.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 6:16 PM
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I somewhat surprised myself by enjoying the original Pirates movie, so I'm bound to be disappointed with the sequel.
Took my son along to see the new Superman movie and was left a little deflated - the array of special effects left me slightly cold. Also, could anybody clear something up for me? I’m certain that in the original Superman movies, Lois Lane became aware that Clark was Superman, but in the contemporary film she seems oblivious...
I'm not certain of the timeline, but I do know that this one apparently picks up after Superman II. Did she find out in that one?
From the very start you could see in Margot Kidder's eyes that she always knew that Clark was Super.
Longtime reader, just wanted to add my penniesworth
I was very dissapointed with Pirates of the Carribean, finding it overlong and a bit dull, with some really shoddy cgi in the crew of Davy Jones' ship. Scrawny Knightley completely undid all the suprisingly good work she did in P&P by being crap again and had no chemistry with 'Captain Jack'. I reallly dont understand all the repeat business it must be doing in the US to push it up to the $400 million mark.
However, I completely loved Superman Returns. For me, it was very involving emotionally and i was totally involved during the action sequences, on the edge of my seat completely caught up in it, like i havent been in years. Its definetly a superior action film, much like the xmen films that Singer directed (lets pretend the Ratner atrocity never happened). It looks completely beautiful to, i love the retro styling. Although I was trying to recast Lois Lane in my head as Bosworth is very bland and cant pull off the smart stuff. It was hard to find someone else though as I realised that Hollywood only casts its twentysomething women as 'ditsy' or cute, they rarely get a chance to play smart. The only person i could think of was Rachel McAdams.
Its been many years since i saw the original superman films, but friends of mine who were fans of the early ones loved Superman Returns as well.
Faye
I saw this in Camden the day after it came out. The cinema was packed and when Jack made his entrance breaking out of the coffin the audience applauded!
Px
Px - I hope that isn't something unexpected in the film as you may have just spoilt it for some.
I vowed to see it as soon as it came out (because I loved the first one) and still haven't, but middle films in trilogies are very likely to be disappointing, aren't they? Is The Two Towers anyone's favourite of the Lord of the Rings films?
Still, Johnny Depp in eyeliner will keep me amused for a bit even if it is rubbish.
Back to the Future 2 is the best in the trilogy. In my humble opinion. It has to be - it's the one about the future!
Also, Empire Strikes Back is the best of a bad bunch (though technically it's the fifth I suppose).
Now I will stop monopolising Andrew Collins' comments sections, sorry, it's been a long day.
Don't worry, Clare, the coffin bit is right at the start of Pirates. And no need to apologise, CliveP - monopolise away, it's a free country.
OR IS IT????
This may not be interesting but I heard Mark Radcliffe say that The Two Towers is favourite of the LOTR films.
...is his favourite...
okay, I'm just wrong about middle films, I surrender ;-)
Clare,
Oops! Sorry.
This sort of thing is precisely why I don't work for MI5.
But no, it isn't exactly important to the plot, and if you've seen the first one, it's predictable, but funny nonetheless.
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