Eat your scones!
A much stronger episode - number three, Where's Johnny?, written by John Patterson and directed by Michael Caleo - in which Uncle Junior shows definite signs of Alzheimer's, driving off to the old neighbourhood in search of his dead brother Johnny Soprano (who was, as we remember from Livia's catchphrase, "a saint"). A literal turf war between Paulie and Feech shows just what a violent pyscho the old capo is - breaking the arm of a gardener whom he felt was encroaching on his nephew's patch by dragging his inert body, by the balls, to a kerbside, and stomping on the bone. Ouch. Anyone who saw Robert Loggia, who plays Feech, in Lost Highway or Scarface will know how good he is at this kind of thing. Tony, now sharing with Artie Bucco, is seen trying to mediate a tripartate power-sharing arrangement between Johnny Sack, Angelo Garepe and Little Carmine (he of the "wet t-shirt contests" in Florida). Sack, his eyes darker than ever, tells him where to stick it ("What's this, the fucking UN now?"). Meanwhile Junior insults Tony at the dinner table about his lack of athletic prowess as a kid. Tony takes it badly and says that his uncle is "dead to him." (Good to hear that phrase.) Then he finds out about the Alzheimer's and they almost have a Moment at the end of the episode. Some great conflict in this one - not least Tony's frustrated flare-up at Janice, who went off to California and left him with their mother. "I'm left here mired in her bullshit, trying to be a good son, and you're off dropping acid and blowing roadies!" Her hapless husband, Bobby, looks at her and says, "Roadies?" (Oh, it was Paulie who said the scones line, to his Aunt. Men are talking!)