Completely
Anyway, changing the subject . . .
The Brit Awards then. For the first tiime since Samantha Fox and Mick Fleetwood, the awards were shown live. "Completely live," as both the continuity announcer and erudite host Russell Brand kept reiterating. Well, not completely, in the event, as there was a 15-second delay. The Brits were in fact incompletely live, and even though half of the ceremony went out on ITV1 after the nine o'clock watershed, the sound kept cutting out for fear of us hearing a rude word. Russell himself, by far the best host the Brits have ever seen - clever, satirical, confident, fluent, sincere, reactive, authoritative, saucy and I do believe he wrote all his own material - made reference to vaginas and drugs and shoe-bombers, but what I have to assume was the word "fuck" saw the sound clumsily muted as if suddenly water had got in our ears, even during songs. Liam Gallagher must have said fuck while singing his songs. Something of an own-goal by ITV perhaps? It's live, right, so anything could happen, but it's not live, because we need to take the f-word out. I understand why the delay is there - for libel, if nothing else, and I suppose the unexpected appearance of a penis - and I don't get my kicks from hearing the f-word, but I think it would have been preferable to stop banging on about how completely live it was, when it wasn't.
In all, the prizegiving was unspectacular. Lily Allen robbed. The Killers over-rewareded by precisely two awards. The categories voted for by listeners of radio stations and viewers of cable channels as ever rather odd. (I actually prefer awards to be conferred by some august and unseen panel of industry peers - I don't need to pick the winners myself by phone or text. It sort of removes my right to complain about the outcome, like an actual election or something.) Joss Stone, who presented an award, demonstrates the dangers of taking a teenager from the West Country, telling her she's a genius and sending her to America. I'm glad Arctic Monkeys won two awards (British Group, British Album), but they really need to have a sit down and work out how not to look like a bunch of ungrateful twats. I don't blame then for not wanting to be at Earls Court - the Brits gets bigger and bigger and more of a television event ever year, and having dinner in an aircraft hangar doesn't look like a lot of fun - but after last year's stupid thank-you message, they might have considered making an effort. Instead, they dressed up in daft fuck-you costumes and stood in a row and said, without feeling, "Thank you for presenting us with this most prestigious award. It means a great deal considering the competition and we express our deepest apologies for our absence tonight." If it was a satire on insincerity, it fell flat. They will stop giving you awards, you know, lads.
British male solo artist: James Morrison. He seems nice enough. Not my kind of music, and Jarvis Cocker and Thom Yorke were never going to win it. British female solo artist should have been Lily, but it's hard to knock the innate talent of Amy Winehouse, however she looks and speaks. (Who is Nerina Pallot, by the way?) British album: Arctic Monkeys - anything to keep Snow Patrol from taking anything shiny home. What a black hole they are. British breakthrough act: The Fratellis, who do nothing for me, and should have been Lily Allen. International breakthrough act: I can hardly bring myself to say their name ... the irksome Orson (but hey, another democratic phone-vote award, so blame MTV viewers). British live act: hard to argue with Muse. British single: Take That's Patience, an excellent single, so no gripes there, and again, anything to keep Razorlight off the stage. International male solo artist: Justin Timberlake in a weak category (Beck? Bob Dylan? Damien Rice? Jack Johnson?! - haven't we done him already?) and International female solo artist: Nelly Furtado (stronger category, with Beyonce, Cat Power, Christina Aguilera and Pink). I don't much like Nelly, but it was never going to be the more palatable Cat Power, was it? International group and album: The Killers - there's no stopping this juggernaut now. And Outstanding contribution to music: Oasis. Quite why they agreed to accept this, I do not know, unless Paul Weller doing so last year made it OK. Liam at least did with so bad grace, and if he wasn't actually singing like that for a joke, it's probably as well that they consign them to history now because he isn't going to have a voice left in a couple of years' time.
I'm looking forward to finding out what was actually said in those muted-out censored bits, and I'd like to know if the spraying of champagne on the winners was stage-managed, as it kept happening. If Brand isn't already signed to do next year's the organisers are out of their minds. Brandon Flowers looks so much like my brother with that moustache and hair, it actually causes me merriment every time I see his face.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 7:31 AM
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Hi Andrew,
I agree with most of your comments - I too thought that the champagne spraying looked stage-managed (although it seemed that guests were asked to do it rather than it being done by some "event management assistant").
The two things that I disagree with are that (1) Lily Allen was robbed and (2) that the Killers are unfairly rewarded. It seems fashionable at the moment to knock the popular trio of Kooks, Razorlight and Killers. Razorlight I can live without (although great drumming on "In The Morning"), but the other two I think are great. I love "Sam's Town": full of the hookiest hooks, great production (to these ears anyway) and a satisfying integrity (in the sense that the album really holds together). And I thought that he sang better live than I have heard yet (not difficult admittedly). Liam, on the other hand, was appalling. What has happened to his voice, or was he simply not trying.
Oh. and Orson?
When I first heard that Russell Brand was presenting the Brits I misheard his name and thought Jo Brand would be presenting, who would have been an 'interesting' presenter if nothing else..
Anyone remember that period in the late 80s and early 90s when Annie Lennox used to win 'Best British Female Artist' category every year for years on end? I can only conclude it was some private joke within the Brits organisers..
I watched bits of it and it made me realise how out of touch I am with modern music. Sure, I've heard of these people, but some of them I've not actually heard, so I flicked between the Brits and my season 1 box set of Oz, which is fab, while feeling old.
I wanted to see if there were any cock-ups on the Sam Fox/Mick Fleetwood scale and there weren't, just drunk popstars being childish and petulant (esp. Liam Gallagher). When you hear 'it's live, so anything can happen' constantly, you know that nothing will happen.
Plus I can't bear Russell Brand. Talk about the emperor's new clothes. He's like an unfunny woman with a beard. I just can't get my head around why he's so popular. It must be because I'm over 40. He's not designed for the likes of me.
Good points well made. I agree with you about the use of the word "fuck". I don't see the point in gratuitously shocking people, but to censor swearing after the watershed is taking things too far.
I agree, I felt Brand was his usual self - relevant, fluent, frequently funny bu I'm glad Lily didn't win anything. I just find her songs are deeply synthetic and the lyrics are shockingly bad. Google 'LDN lyrics' and tell me I'm wrong. Tesco / al fresco? Come off it.
I found the Arctic Monkeys' acceptance speeches hilarious. Put me in mind of Beck's acceptance one year, crossing a finishing line in vest and shorts and acting like he'd won an Olympic gold. They were only playing, and they're only kids.
I was flicking between the Brits and the Arsenal match, the latter was far more involving.
Yet another discourse on the winners and losers of some media related prizegiving. I have no problem with this as I could have chosen not to read it. My problem is that I just don't understand why anybody outside the immediate "bubble" of participants cares who wins or loses. I would seriously like to know. I buy lots of records and listen to lots of radio and if I like something I don't really care who else does. If I ever "decided" to produce an album as good as The Arctic Monkeys one and become seriously rich in the process then I think I'd be inclined to ignore the whole circus. Why should they join in if they really don't want to?
I understand why "the industry" wants the awards bashes but I don't understand why I should care who won "Best Album" any more than I should care about who won "Best Boiler" at the annual Central Heating Awards ceremony and where is the publicity for that? Do people really need to be told what to like (or do some people actually like Snow Patrol?!)I suspect that the answer is simply the media feeding on the media but I would like to know if that's really true or not.
PS - I was watching the football as well.
Hey, JW, at the end of the day, you're right, it doesn't matter who wins a Brit or not. Fuck it. The earth's dying and the human race with it. Equally it doesn't matter who wins a football match. Not in the wider scheme of things. They're both extensions of the entertainment industry. I would argue - and you could argue the same for any sport - that the people who do care enough to tune in, or vote in the awards, are not in a "bubble" but are good old-fashioned fans. We're all fans to an extent. At the very least consumers. You say, "I buy lots of records and listen to lots of radio and if I like something I don't really care who else does." Hence, you didn't tune in. I watched the Brits to see who won. I will watch the Oscars for the same reason. I'm also interested in the show itself, the presentation, the host etc. As to the question, why should Arctic Monkeys join in if they really don't want to? They don't have to, but my worry is that the band's constant failure to engage with the media may at some point start to erode the connection they have with their fans, and that would be a crying shame.
Having said all that, I can't deny that I am in a media bubble of sorts, and find the media fascinating. If you don't, that's fine. If I worked for the central heating industry, I would probably find that fascinating. Although the media is more interesting than central heating, as it affects us all.
Andrew, it is difficult to type things without knowing how someone will take it, but are you taking all comments as a direct insult or dig at you? I can understand if you are and I can understand if you are feeling slightly paranoid at the moment, given the mindless idiots out there who have recently insulted you. But I'm sure most people are not getting at you.
And does the media affect us all?
Just for clarity, when you said "the unexpected appearance of a penis" Were you talking about Johnny Borrell?
Totally agree that someone at Domino should have made sure the Arctic's were there, how hard is it to do a video shoot on another day? I wonder how many awards Gnarls Barkley might have won had they played?
Paula, you're on to something there. I am feeling a little under fire with the other thread about nutrition and homeopathy. I like a debate, but I am certainly outnumbered! No wonder I'm feeling paranoid. I've been trying to get some work done today and the comments keep coming pouring in, most of them making mutliple points and referring to multiple points of my own, and it's making my head spin a bit. And I'm getting no work down. Sorry, JW, if my response seemed curt. It wasn't intended. I need a screen break!
I would say central heating affects us all, especially on a nasty cold day like this!
This is honestly not to be taken too seriously - I am in humour mode here - Just to say that as someone who works in the building industry - I think that the Institute of Plumbing and Heating Engineering might have cause to take issue with the comment that the media is more interesting than central heating - and central heating affects almost all of us:)
Ooh, it's a cold old afternoon Andrew, so central heating does affect us all! But seriously...perhaps there's a bit of a divide here between those of us who do and don't work in the media. I've worked as an etnertainment journalist for most of my working life, and I'm similtaneously repulsed and fascinated by media and celebrities, and when you have seen 'stars' from the other, less attractive side, it makes them eve more fascinating. So let us old hacks have our way, eh, readers?
"I am feeling a little under fire with the other thread about nutrition and homeopathy." - AC.
I do feel a bit guilty for repeatedly challenging you about the Gillian McKeith blog entry. I guess in the broader scheme of things its not the most important thing in the world.
And as I said before I think it was to your credit you allowed a debate on that subject, and fair play to you for arguing your case.
Very frequently, I've come to this blog on other posts and thought to myself - yes this is a well argued and well thought through rebuttal to a commonly held point of view. The post you wrote about nationalism and England after meeting a xenophobic builder for example. Or the entry about the terrorist plot that was foiled. And the one about Ben Elton's support for the war was right on the money.
It seems that something has gone very wrong in the wold of Joss Stone, she made a very Whitney-esque appearance on Radio One earlier, rambling, sweary and diva like. Mind you she was just a child when set free in the biz we call music. I thought Mr Brand was very engaging and funny, holding things together in exactly the same way Fox and Fleetwood didn't. And it was nice to see the Scissor Sisters putting some effort into their performance. And it was nice to see Take That win Bset Single, I like them.
I agree about Joss Stone - what the fuck was she on? And she looked, as well as sounded, utterly ridiculous.
This 'Russell Brand', has anybody thought of giving him his own TV show/Radio prog/Newspaper Column?
Because I don't seem to have seen/heard/read anything about him!
Ian
Ian- I believe he was cloned from Frankie Howerd, Kenneth Willams and Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. Happened in lab very recently... Hence the lack of exposure.
Probably the last you'll see of him.
I guess the fuck word drop-outs were on the basis that children were likely to be watching, regardless of it being post-watershed. The Orson vote would suggest that presumption was correct.
I believe the Arctic Monkeys said in a 6Music interview something to the effect that hiring the costumes constituted making an effort, bless them. I think you worry too much about them eroding the connection they have with their fans. Especially as they famously built that connection supposedly without the help of the industry. If the quality of the records holds up, they'll be all right.
You're absolutely right about the public votes. They might just as well base the awards purely on sales.
Andrew, I didn't take any offence - I hadn't realised you were being snappy but then I've not been following the food discussion so I wasn't aware how heated things were round these parts! I wouldn't have asked the question if I'd realised that it was likely to cause offence - I genuinely wanted to know what the attraction of these award ceremonies is as I just don't understand and I was hoping that you, or one or your errudite commenters (is that a word?!) could point me in the right direction. From your answer I'm a little closer to understanding it really only explains it from the perspective of someone involved in quite a few branches of the media but it doesn't explain at all why "the man in the street" would be interested.
Just to comment on the football analogy, I watch a lot of matches when I really don't mind who wins - in fact the match last night was so enjoyable that I said about a minute before it ended that I hoped Bolton would score just so that it would go into extra time... of course this could also help explain why I don't understand being interested in other people's award ceremonies.
400 odd complaints, apparently, have been recieved by ITV and OFCOM following The Brits - not for Joss Stone being a diva (which, lets face it, she would have deserved), but for some of Russell Brand's jokes. Now, I like Russell very much and thought he did a great job, but I think the nature of the complaints say more about us as a nation. Which 'observation' drew the most complaints? Russell suggesting that the best international breakthrough would be if the british and american soldiers told each other where they were standing. Now, call me old-fashioned, but that sounds like a nice thing to say. Maybe not the right event to say it - although on reflection, live at 8.30 in the evening on ITV seems like the perfect moment to say it!
and I like Orson. Sorry.
and does anybody know which model DID win boiler of the year?
cheers andrew - just listening to your word cast about indie. excellent work.
I'd also like to lend my support (for what it's worth) to Andrew and the consistently high quality of this blog. I'd hate to think that the lively debate over the complementary medicine issue would put you off raising controversial issues in the future.
Even though I disagreed with a fair amount of what you were saying, the thought-porcesses involved in formulating a coherent response have left me with a more rounded appreciation of the issues than I had before and I hope the same process has occurred for those on the other side of the argument.
And it was all a great deal more stimulating than work.
Is it perhaps in the nature of print debates - as opposed to spoken - that they appear never-ending? If you read a detailed argument you don't agree with you are at liberty to write a response challenging it on a point by point basis - not a luxury you're likely to get in a normal conversation. And if you find yourself on the receiving end of a thorough demolition of your argument there's a natural tendency to wish to respond.
Perhaps some of us should be secure enough in the views we express first time round not to need to keep reiterating them when they come under attack. Seany - yellow card for you on that count.
Dipped in and out of the Brits and came away wishing someone would just do something different - either when accepting an award or handing one out or performing. A bit of loutishness, a bit of champage spraying, a bit of swearing, a bit of 'we'd like to thank all our fans', a bit of sincere weeping...seen it all before.
Is this generation of pop and rock stars really so witless that they can't behave in any other way?
What I would have given for someone to walk onstage in a suit and make a 10 minute speech in praise of vinyl; or supporting the war in Iraq; or do their acceptance speech in French; or explain how 19th century German philosophy was at the heart of all they do....just something to engage my attention.
Instead we were presented with the usual crop of conventionally unconventional rock stars (with the exception of Amy Winehouse who I have a lot of time for).Even the Arctic Monkeys who I love with a passion trotted out the tired old 'funny' video acceptance speech which is way beneath them.
And the origins of all this mediocre conformism? Look no further than the winners of the outstanding achievement award. Could anyone listen to that shouty pub rock and really imagine a time when Oasis were supposed to have changed the world?
And what Andy Bell - once a member of a truly great band in Ride - is still doing there is a mystery.
I'm going to stop now as I can feel my spleen starting to vent again...
Rusell Brand has his own show on Radio 2 - Saturdays 9-11pm. He also had his own show on BBC 6 Music for a while, plus a "chat show" of sorts on Channel 4. Oh and Big Brother's Big Mouth...
You're taking the piss when you say you've not heard of him, right?
I believe Ian was taking the piss, Rachel.
I thought so....... it was a long night with a teething baby, and I love Russell....!!
Only a slight piss-take Rachel!
I'm sure my Dad said something similar about Simon Dee!
Hope you get some sleep.
Ian
God, it's so nice to be involved in an extended discussion about pop music rather than homeopathy! (I am, I admit, pissed. The last couple of days have driven me to drink, in a red wine kind of way.)
I'm normally machine levine, but I can't remember my bloody username and password.
Andrew - red wine is a apparently a superfood, so you're fine. White wine on the other hand....
Incidentally, I had fish and chips earlier tonight but left me so bloated that I struggled to drink much tonight, and had to take a gavilast when I got home.
I've now realised i've spilled one thread into another. Better quickly offer my two cents on the Brits.
Didn't see them. Nerina Pallot is a Radio 2 friendly version of Amy Winehouse - her blogs have far more erudite venom than her records, but I liked Fires.
Russell Brand seemed better on UKPlay and MTV when he looked normal, now he looks like a pre-raphaelite version of David Gest, it's hard to take an interest.
I don't like Lily Allen, because a) I don't like her dad - he comes across as obnoxious (not fair to her I know, but I don't care)
b) comparatively her urban poetry in pop songs is dumb enough to be considered the ramblings of a Trisha or Jeremy Kyle regular when compared to that of the late great Kirsty MacColl (who was more deserving of the hype in my opinion)
To redress the balance (and I do apologise if this seems sycophantic) but I do admire you're writing, even if don't agree with your opinions every time - I do sometimes (Aztec Camera, Prefab), but the world would be interesting if we all agreed.
Good night to all.
I notice the contoversy continues to burn in the other thread. (with a couple of deleted entries! - did the red wine cause you to re-enter the fray?).
Up to 78 comments and counting - Is that a record for the blog?
As you say, nice to have an extended debate on pop music. I hear the Beatles are now bigger than Jesus - discuss. (just kidding).
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