Spotted
Driving through South London yesterday, I saw a BMW with a personalised number plate. Now, I'm conflicted about personalised number plates, because my gut reaction is that to personalise a car via the number plate is the act of a deluded and tragic individual (and almost without fail a man). However, my dad has one, and he's neither deluded nor sad. He is an intelligent and sensible individual, from whom I believe I have taken, genetically or otherwise, many of my best features (stoicism, calm, reason and a basic bedrock of optimism in human nature - unfortunately I also got the eyebrows). Anyway, the one I saw yesterday amused me to the point of me almost letting off the man who'd had it made up. It went:
JIII HAD
Now there's an outside chance that his name is Mr Had, and that the J stands for his first name, and he's got III (as in three) kids, or something. Or it's his IIIrd (as in third) BMW. I much prefer to think that he's an Islamic Jihadist, albeit one of the worst in the Western world. First of all, he's driving a big, decadent European car, which he must have to park round the corner when he goest to the mosque. Second, he's rather advertising his jihad. He's even quite excited about - Jiiiiiiihad! - and feels moved to share. Even the seemingly useless MI5 could probably pick this one up.
Anyway, hats off to him. He made me smile. I wish him well in his struggle.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 11:25 AM
25 Comments
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25 Comments:
At least it's a legal number plate, if there's one thing that drives me insane it's those number plates where the letters are shifted round and screws are added to form words that aren't there (thereby destroying the purpose of a number plate!). Twatplates they're called - and rightly
Whether it's digital printing or the increasing number of idiots in the world, they're everywhere these days.
"I wish him well in his struggle"
Grow up Andrew.
Tristan: fuck the fuck off. (I hope that's grown up enough for you.)
Time out boys! ;-)
The one's with the car manufacturer or model in them irrtate me slightly.
As in 'Jon 911'. Yeah Jon, we know it's a 911, Porche have already written it on the car.
I did see S44B xx on a Ford Fiesta which raised an eyebrow.
(Also watch out for a car reg plate TR15 T4N..)
Pardon my French in the previous comment, but I don't need some patronising bastard telling me to grow up. Fuck that. If you don't like the tone of my writing, Tristan, get lost. Go and read something else. I only regularly read and comment upon the blogs I enjoy. And if you're the same Tristan who turned up during the Goldacre debacle, you're doubly unwelcome. I've put comment moderation back on, because I really don't need the hassle. Apologies to everyone else. I'll do my best to moderate efficiently and quickly.
No need to justify. I think "fuck the fuck off" pretty much nailed it.
FTFO - Good old Malcolm Tucker!
I have a problem with the odd personalised plate. Especially ones that are really spazzy.
But JIII HAD is pretty funny.
The only thing really objectional... BMW!
One of my friends had us all scampering around collecting fine photographic examples of 'Twatplates' on our phones earlier this year. He was going to publish them all on a website but I think there may have been 'legal problems'. The best ones were to be found in and around Maylebone High Street, and Romford. From whence came the absolute winner, a sly configuration of numerics and strategically-placed bolts which read "12" DICK".
PS. Well done Andrew. That sounded like it was a long time coming!
It's probably owned by a lady named Jill.
I was just now very amused by the decidedly Anglo Saxon "fuck the fuck off" comment from AC. I'm still chuckling.
Muy bien hecho, amigo. (No hablo francés.)
I see from Bounder' sposting that somone with fewer 'legal issues' than my friend Del has had the same idea. I'll let Del know....
Of course, Paul Daniels has MAG1C as his plate. Now that's TRAG 1C. Clearly someone else had first dibs on TW4T.
ps, the full phrase you were looking for is Fuck the fuck off, you fucking fuck. As first used by Thora Hird on "Songs of Praise-After Dark"
This is the first blog that has made me laugh out loud.
Spotted a great one in Highgate today - VILLAN. I used to work for a company who had a not-very-nice man in charge of finance whose iniitals wer MSE. His bosses'name started with R, and he was his bosses (alleged) number one. So the personalised number plate read 'R1 MSE'. An anagram of 'miser' - not deliberate, I'm sure, but perfect for those of us working for the penny-pincher concerned.
Andrew, I'm worried about you and your interest in number plates. Please don't end up like your friend Richard Herring. I thought that you were a good influence on him, but sadly it seems that he is a bad influence on you. Before you know it you'll be Consecutive Number Plate Spotting too... :-)
L0 V3D TH1S P03T. MAD3 M3 LA0 GH.
Although if I saw someone with such a numberplate I would steer well clear of him.
Imagine that the car is owned by a nice sensible housewife called Jill Hadley, say, and she reads this post and thinks "Oh my God, what have I done?" "Now I know why people were giving me strange looks as I drove past the Mosque."
Andrew,
I apologise.
I was annoyed by your final line and I’m pretty disappointed in myself that all I could muster was “Grow up”.
Here’s what “Grow up” actually meant: If a number plate said “"NA ZI'5 RULE" I’m sure you wouldn’t feel compelled to blog about it in the same way? You certainly wouldn’t "wish him well in his struggle"? I suppose the only joke you could come up with in that situation would be “I always knew BMW drivers were wankers. This just confirms it!” or something along those lines.
But for some reason it's acceptable to wish well to someone who's plate makes reference to those who like to blow themselves up on trains, fly planes into buildings to kill thousands, attempt to blow up nightclubs, burn down embassies etc etc.
Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but there are things I feel quite strongly about. Currently one of those is what I see as double standards amongst the left (a movement I've always aligned myself with) when it comes to Islam, religion and cultural relativism. I find it disappointing coming from those of a political outlook that has traditionally been so progressive.
I'm not at all accusing you of actively supporting Jihad or Islamism, but comments like that one do seem to show a subconscious dismissiveness of an outlook which I think is truly dangerous.
Again, I’m sorry I reacted like a dick. I can promise you I’m not one really!
Regards
Tristan
Oh, and Gari, I thought the full phrase he meant was actually:
"Come the fuck in, or fuck the fuck off".
I've decided to come the fuck in. See above.
I think - and I have done a comedy course, so I know about these things - that the 'well-wishing' may have been meant with a sense of irony, Andres?
PS Watched the repeat of Not Going Out last night. That scene with Lee dressed up as an old woman is classic.
The original comment was amusing and acceptable because it was alluding to the comic dissonance generated by the idea of religious/extremist motivated suicide/mass murder - with all its joyless unpleasantness (can we agree on that?) - and the idea of someone celebrating it in so harmless and rubbish a way as a number plate. Especially one which spells it how a child at a party would say it: Jiiihad (as was pointed out).
I don't think the original post was intended to spark a debate about terrorism, or "Jihad", or religious fundamentalism. Certainly not to trivialise the issue. I think it was intended as "a moment of humour". Laughing at something does not necessarily trivialise it either. Often it is a perfectly appropriate response.
I believe that it was Kurt Vonnegut
who said "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."
I have the feeling I have heard reports of this car before. Was it a comment made on th BBC radio? I can't recall. Googling reveals a picture:
http://danielwdy.blogspot.com/2005_11_01_danielwdy_archive.html.
The car must belongs to a "local character" from round sarf london.
Tristan
Can I just ask that you read some of Andrew's other posts. If you do you will see that he is is in no way an advocate of violence, terrorism or extremism of any sort. To underline what Joyfeed and Clair have said, (extremely eloquently I might add) this is humour and to be honest we could all do with humour sometimes.
I understand that you have strong feelings on the matter and I respect that. However I would ask you to accept that this post is humourous and I do not believe that it is in any way a "subconscious dismissiveness" of any outlook.
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