He's back
I'm talking about me, obviously. Thanks to the sterling work at the very top level of BT, I am now reconnected to my broadband. You shouldn't have to take these matters to the very top - and if you do, it helps that you have some bargaining chips - but I cannot fault the level of care and follow-up. We'll leave it at that. I hope.
Jamie Oliver's also back. After three series in which he was a slave to format (turning yobs into chefs, sorting out school dinners and having them thrown back in his face, going on holiday to Italy get away from yobs and school dinners), his new series is back to basics: Jamie At Home. Now, figures show that Jamie's Dinner restored a lot of people's faith in Jamie - they saw him in a new light. I must say I've always liked his programmes, and his personality, if not Toploader, and despite that awful moment around series two of The Naked Chef where it looked like he actually thought his band could have a hit record off the back of it. Luckily, common sense prevailed. I've always used his cook books, and I wish he'd never sold his soul to Sainsbury's, whose chirpy, dishonest adverts continue to turn me into Marcus Brigstocke on a purely ethical level. (Jamie's doing them so many favours by attaching his name and cuddly image to their evil work of destroying communities and putting growers out of business and filling us all up with processed food because that's where the profit lies, but hey, here's some coriander in a packet.) Anyway, the Sainsbury's dollars have helped pay for a very nice house in the country, and it's here that we join Jamie for the new series. No mates coming round, no wife and kids (yet), just the man-child himself, reassuringly tubby now, getting excited and using words like "bosh" and "wazz" about simple ingredients. This week: tomatoes. I'm glad to have him back, and I'm definitely having a go at that tomato salad and the sausage stew, although I doubt I'll be doing it in my brick fire oven in the grounds of my house while my gardener uses organic methods of keeping the white fly off my vines.
Let me guess - you all hate him?
What a surprise: I love Studio 60. Fucking love it. I cheer when it comes on, already. Great to have Aaron Sorkin's crunchy dialogue back on the telly, Matthew Perry has found a role to match Chandler, and the plotting is already immaculate. However, I can quite understand why it didn't find a big audience in the States and why it was cancelled - and why it's only on More4 over here. It's about the making of a television show! Who, at the end of the day, apart from people who work in television, or who would watch an Aaron Sorkin drama if it were about a call centre, cares? (Or cares enough to watch more than one season of it?) Praise be, all the same.
it's nice to be back. Again. Again.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 4:37 PM
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44 Comments:
Are you *really* back? Or do you just think you're back, like last time? Fingers crossed eh?
I love Josh. Sorry 'Danny'. (Why that character had to be called 'Danny' when 'Danny' is in the show too, only isn't called 'Danny' anymore I don't know. Surely there are more names??) The woman who isn't going out with Matt anymore seems a bit irritating. And I sometimes wish they would speak up a bit.
(I don't hate Jamie Oliver)
I quite like Jamie Oliver, in fact I've got him to thank for helping me woo my (now) wife! But last night's program seemed a little contrived, and he was laying on the schtick a bit too thickly. Also, did you see the 5 'food stylists' in the credits? What's all that about??!
"some tomatoes, olive oil, basil, oregano" then eat it. oh and if you "add some pasta" and "mush it up" it's "summer on a plate".
Mr oliver it's
o-regg-anno NOT o-ri-garno
you fool.
sorry i turned over after that.
what is it next week - how to boil an egg from one of your chickens?
i thought it a somewhat basic level of and the "over-graphicked" style of the programming typical CH4 - designed to flog "outside sinks".
oh the lifestyle - i must buy into it
"basic level of... cooking" that is
He annoys me a bit, but his cooking as good, I can't argue with that.
Also, I think Brian the gardener should have his own spin-off series.
What's wrong with saying Oh-ree-gar-no?
Chris
I also say o-ri-ga-no. If i were American, I might say 'o-regg-a-no', but as I'm not it would sound as daft as someone from the South of England saying 'New-casstle' rather than 'New-carstle'.
As to Jamie Oliver, on balance I think he does more good than harm in the world, but I'd like to shove a custard pie in his face for what can only be a greed-driven relationship with Sainsbury's.
I buy into the lifestyle, I'm afraid. I aspire to a fuck-off great big garden and rows of organic tomatoes. And quite possibly some chickens too. It's a bit worrying - I spent most of the previous ten years hating him and now I think that he's probably basically OK. And even when he's getting on my nerves with his all his bish-bash-boshing, I still find his recipes make me want to cook.
Oh, and I fucking loved Studio 60 as well. It's a shame it became one of those shows that people loved to bash, as if everything else on TV was so much better. At times it seemed like every "online critic" was just straining at the keyboard, desperate to pick up some clever points by sticking the knife in. What was it was replaced by in the end? Dancing with the Stars?
I thought it was the real wedding crashers? exactly the sort of show they were trying to dismiss as lazy, unsophisticated but successful.
I think Studio 60 suffers the same fate that Sports Night had. Imagine a sitcom about the now defunct Under the Moon, or Channel 5's Live and Dangerous?
They'd probably be better than another just another quiz channel, mind.
In many ways I think TWW was the only one to work longer because it was a utopia that was reacting against a particular administration, and was something people who were anti that administration could escape to as part of their own ideal.
I like Jamie Oliver. I always have done, I admire his sheer joy for what he does. I like his pukka-Essex boy persona, and he seems like a decent chap. I also have reservations about the Sainsburys stuff, as I have about all big supermarkets, profits will always come before ethics for them.
Still, let's just be glad he's back enjoying cookery again.
And hope your broadband holds up Mr Collings.
I like Jamey too. Not enough to spell his name correctly, but he seems like a nice bloke who is always getting it in the neck from his wife.
I don't think she likes the publicity.
I also like Gordon Ramsey.
Sorry about that.
My wife loves Studio 60, I haven't watched it yet, but I may now that I see others (other than my trash TV loving wife) also like it.
I'd baaa'aa but I fear I may end up as one of Jammy's new recipes.
I also say Oregano the way British people have always said it before the people who speak correctly tried to change our mind. And I am stubborn, so they can Fuck right off. I like the way I say it.
O-re-garno.
Nice.
I've not watched Studio 60 yet, but will I think. Whilst on holiday last week I had my first exposure to The West Wing, now I'm hooked! Only six and half seasons to get through...
Is anyone still watching Dexter?
Surely it must be O-regg-anno.
As in,
"Can I get some O-regg-anno please?"
Have a nice day y'all.
Now then - thought this was worth wheeling out...
Joliver by Cassetteboy
Obviously it's naughty to upload copyrighted material so consider this an advert for that excellent duo's work - they're very funny in my humble one.
Worth a listen...
I work in telly, I like most if not all of the cast, I have enjoyed Aaron Sorkin's previous stuff (LOVED Sportsnight), but I found Studio 60 to be a bit TOO self-consciously clever clever to really enjoy. Wasn't surprised to see it cancelled, or sad either.
Jamie's alright with me.
Or-ee-garno. I live in the States now and insist stubbornly on keeping this pronunciation. But that's me all over, probably...
Good to see you back Andrew. I thought that Jamie had put on a few pounds too. Good to see that it wasn't just me that reckoned that.
It's Oree-garno, everyone knows that; even the fucking Wombles knew that. Yes?
Good to see you back Andrew, and Amazing to see some proper swearing back on the site. Yes, Big Boy?
Gordon AnotherAnon Fucking Rams-ey
(and he hates Jamie alright)
it's definitely o-regg-anno.
that's the italian way.
and if you have an italian insalata alla pomodoro then you must have "o-regg-anno" on it.
oh and it must be extra virgin olive oil not some cheapo replacement from sainsbury's
I have no problem with Jamie Oliver. I thought the school dinners thing was great. His recipes are top notch too. So many favourites there.
I'm not bothering with Studio 60. I saw the first so long ago, and the gap in between has dampened my ardour. And now I know it's been axed the shine has gone off it. Plus, I can't commit to any more lengthy series. My Sky+ is running out of room, and it's the HD one too, with loads of memory. There's way too much too catch up on as it is.
Oregano: we're in England, jades, so it's "orreegarno". If it's good enough for the OED it's good enough for me. If you want to use foreign pronunciations, I assume you pronounce the country as "Italya", and France as "Frornce". Anyway, enough of this half-hearted flaming. I've always liked the Oliver boy's programs. The enthusiasm's genuine and infectious, at least to sufficient blokey blokes that cooking amongst males is far more common than once was the case in England. And that's surely a good thing. I was bemused by the staggering frequency with which the words "nice", "lovely" and "delicious" issued from his lips. Then I realised: his last three series have all contained post-watershed quantities of fucking swearing. Suddenly, he's back in a cuddly prime-time family-viewing slot, and the swearbox is being brandished. So he retreats into the overuse of these three anodyne words. Someone should have told him - does the show have a director, or were they on autopilot? Still, other than that, great, infectious, inspirational stuff. Simple food you really want to eat.
ok fair enough.
the tide is against me.
i'll go and have me lunch of 'prosh-kutto', 'penny with funjee' a glass of 'chee-antee', and follow it by a large 'ex-presso'
and think about the errors of my ways.
Jamie's great!
Waiting for the nights to draw in before investing any more time in long (or not-so-long in this case) US tv series', but liked the first half hour of the Studio 60 pilot.
It's only episode two, and already I'm getting sad that Studio 60 won't run for 7 seasons.
You say 'tom-ay-to', I say 'tom-ah-to'.
I am right.
I also call Mumbai 'Bombay', and HSBC is still 'The Midland Bank'.
Starburst are obviously 'Opal Fruits' although weirdly Snickers is still 'Snickers'.
I love things like this.
Expresso is 'Ex-presso', yes.
'Prosh-kutto' and 'penny with funjee' are too posh for me to understand, I'm afraid.
I'm having egg and chips for tea (you might call this 'dinner').
Chris
I particularly dislike the question posed to be by some up North:
"Bath hasn't got an 'R' in it so why do you pronounce it like barth?"
To which, my reply:
"Because it annoys you."
But really, it's just the way peoples down South say it. The same way most oop North can't say 'The Internet' or 'The Pub' without making it all the same word with 't' at the beginning.
I call it Dinner if it took ages to cook, Tea if it comes in a cup.
Although, Sunday evenings when you have a tuna sandwich or something, then it's tea without the facetious reference to the drink.
'Prosh-kutto' sounds like an expensive Russian haircut to me, I doubt I will be saying it soon.
I live in the Sarf but I would like to assure you that the correct pronunciation of Orithingywhatsit does not matter. As that day I ask for it, or care, is the day I need to be beaten to death by my friends who will have ceased to have counted me as a friend the second I asked for anything other then cheese in a sandwich. Oh and I pronounce cheese as "cheddar'....
AnonoNick
As a Scouser I'm perfectly capable of saying 'The Internet' and 'The Pub' without making one word out of either of them.
You're talking about the daft woollybacks down the road, who say things like 'Tourst' instead of 'Toast'.
Seriously though, I love the fact that Britain has so many different accents and ways of saying the same thing. It's what makes us who we are, even if some of us don't like oregano.
(Also, in bath, the 'p' is silent).
Chris
I have a PhD in linguistics (no really) and I can officially tell you it's pronounced 'green bits'.
it is my solemn belief that this nath character above is a poet
Four tuppenceworths:
a) Jamie was alright but I felt his schtick was more put on than usual
b) Studio 60 got off to a good start, but my other half wasnt enthused
c) In oregano the emphasis is on the penultimate vowel (as for all words seeded in Latin). Hence ori-gah-no. Similarly for clematis.
d) Its espresso, never expresso.
Phew, glad to get those off my chest.
Cliff Richard never starred in 'Espresso Bongo' now, did he?
I'd rather have a nice cup of tea anyway!
It took me a full minute to get why the 'p' in bath is silent. I got there though, after conducting some field research. Although I chose the county, not the white thing in my bathroom (I could have kicked myself when I got home and saw it, just sitting there, mocking me).
The people of Bath were not impressed with my experiments, so it turned out not to be a silent p, but accompanied by police sirens and an ASBO for public indecency.
Good joke though Chris, if it hadn't backfired on me horribly I may have laughed. Well, as a southerner I would have probably larfed. I would definitely not have 'laffed' which as a scouser I do believe you are very guilty of.
I am with you on the dialect thing though, small country still a massive difference in the lingo, you have to love it.
And by the way 'Anonymous' (a REAL anonymous, not Nick in disguise) I am as poor as a poet, without the talent, and anyone knows that poems have to rhyme!
How I larfed when I saw that..!
Tut, Cafe Schmaffay.
Let's get some culture back into this dialogue shall we class? So, Champagne then:
Mo-ay
or
Mo-et ?
Discuss
In which he played the eponymous Bongo Herbert (according to Amazon I should point out. Clearly not the sort of thing I'd know off the top of my head, honest)
How different things could have been if only they'd called it "Espresso Herbert".
Nice one anonymous, I'm sure I recently picked up that it is Mo-et and not Mo-ay (Oz Clarke and James May's sideways cash-in?). I felt rather foolish, and like on of those people that Jon Ronson recently had a go at for making a big deal linguistic when asking for a "pain au chocolat" in British cafes.
While we're on it, I heard an interview with Armisted Maupin in which he had a bit of a grumble about those who say "Mowpahn" rather than Mow-Pin.
10/10 Mr Jockney. According to this week's Popbitch guide to pop it is indeed Mo-et - sound the 't'.
Other nuggets included the celebrity prediliction for cocaine with their fizz, hence the term "pop and chop".
They did however say that the pressure inside a champagne bottle is 50 bar (50 x atmospheric pressure). Don't think so.
So although you can believe most of what's in Popbitch, as I like to, not every last word of it. Which is as it should be.
AnotherAnon
I made a couple of kilts for
Mr Maupin and his partner last year. Sorry, it is one of my very few claims to fame, and as my shop is about to close and I shall be chucked on the employment scrapheap, it's one of the last chances I shall have to post this fact. This is no reflection on the quality of my kilts by the way.
Go on, gissa job...
Nath,
How the hell did you work out what my real name was? This is a gross invasion of privacy, it's supposed to be a secret...
AnonoNick
..oh. I think I have worked out how you did it. Bugger.
I hate the Oliver with a pasion. Even more so after his cringeworthy performance in the cringeworthy Gervais Comic Relief segment.
There was a great time when on the net where there was a portion of a website devoted to adapting movie poters to include 'the fat tongued mockney' and the swearword that must never be typed. I just loved it. And that was before he reinvented himself as William Wilberforce leading kids from the enslavement of eating what they like.
Didn't bother with Studio 60 because I know it is cancelled. Got my fingers burnt with that following 22 weeks of watching 'Invasion' a couple of years ago.
On the subject of Mr Oliver, his appearance on the cover of this week's Radio Times is enough to scare the livestock. He's been airbrushed so much he resembles Matt Lucas impersonating Rod Stewart - turn to the feature and the bags under eyes, crows feet etc. are present and correct, and he looks a great deal better for it. I retouch photos as part of my job, and know how addictive 'improving' the less than photogenic can be, but this is a clone stamp too far. Your employers should be told, Mr Collins. That Mr Oliver has put on weight is no bad thing - as someone once said, never trust a skinny chef.
Yes, that Radio Times cover image ... I wish I could leap to the magazine's defence, but it looked like a painting, and not a very good one.
(1) Oliver - I used to loathe him with a passion (loved the Toploader-soundtracking quote BTW) but he's earned a place in my regards for trying to prevent 90% of the urchins in this country from dying of obesity before their glutinous Neumannesque parents do.
(2) HSBC Bank - yes! They will ALWAYS be the Midland to me too! Noticed how Abbey National have all those ads these days about how they're delighted to be owned by that Spanish banco Santander? Expect a name change to Abbey Santander within 6 months and thence to just Satander within 12.
(3) Now I might be wrong here but isn't 'oregano' the American name for what we in the UK call 'marjoram'?!
BR
Mick S.
Regarding your point (3), Mick S., you're very close: Oregano (Origanum vulgare) is often known as "wild marjoram". What is often referred to as Marjoram in the UK is more precisely known as "sweet marjoram" or "knotted marjoram" (Origanum majorana). The different botanic names show that they're actually different species.
Mick S - "Satander", that's a bit strong isn't it, unless you meant it as a representation of the anti-christ to the Abbey? In which case very good.
On a more sombre note, I was saddened to hear of Tony Wilson's passing tonight. Ever work with him AC? Guess your paths must have crossed at some time.
AnotherAnon
HSBC will always be called 'Thieving Computerised Bastards' to my eyes.
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