An important massage
I've never had a massage before. I went for one today, for the first time. It was very nice. Actually, it's probably being pampered for half an hour in the middle of a working day that was nice. I feel the same way about haircuts, actually. Indeed, my only experience of a professional massage is the head massage they give as part of the package at the ladies' hairdressers chain I now use. This is less a massage, more of an assault about the head by someone who usually sweeps up hair and fetches coffee, but it's oddly relaxing, nontheless, and the very idea of sitting in a chair while someone rubs my head is so far removed from my usual weekday itinerary (which goes: write at desk, take train into West End to meet someone, take train home again, write at desk, stop writing at desk), it increases the sum of happiness. If I leave my eyes open, which I feel is the wisest approach while sitting in a salon where there are a lot of sharp objects, I can see that the girl doing the massage looks bored. If I washed hair and swept up all day, I think I'd consider the head massage the best bit, but apparently not.
As I have written before, the head massage used to be optional, but not any more. I'm sure you could opt if you wished to protect your own skull, but it's assumed you require one, and I'd consider it rude to the young girl to refuse. I used to tip whichever girl who washes my hair a pound; now I have upped it to two pounds, to cover the massage. I still can't work out if that's stingy or generous. I tip the actual hairdresser five pounds, which seems fair, as there's not a lot to do on my head.
Anyway, having felt a bit of tension in my right shoulder, I booked an actual massage at a place whose website only has pictures of relaxed women on it, and which is actually a spa, albeit a high street one. I felt just a little bit self-conscious going in there, blatantly not a woman, but as we have established, I have a greater affinity with women than men anyway, and I'd like to think they can pick this up. I asked if they had a copy of Nuts while I waited, but they didn't.
So, if you've had one, this will be old news indeed, but massages are very relaxing. No wonder the beautiful-skinned ladies on the website look so calm and peaceful. I booked a back, neck and shoulder massage, as the others ones (deep tissue, for instance), sounded a bit scary and might, I reasoned, have required me to wear nothing but a towel. In the event, I was asked to get undressed and lie under a towel for this massage, but I kept my shorts on, and it didn't seem to impede the woman's work. (Of course, a part of me is mocking the other part of me for keeping my shorts on, but the part of me that has never had a massage before didn't want to look stupid, and even though the other part of me thinks the fact that I kept my shorts on probably made me look stupid in a different way, the other part of me is too relaxed to get into an argument about it.) Frankly, my shoulder still hurts, but the rest of me, including my mind, feels great, and the aromatherapy oil is still giving off a relaxing aroma half an hour after leaving the shop. What's relaxing is letting yourself go. Allowing a professional to take charge. No conversation, just trained hands, very occasional pain, plus oil and piped chillout music, which included the theme from Twin Peaks, adding a certain macabre weirdness to the occasion.
I suppose the best thing would be to know someone who can do massage and get them to do it for free, but I think it's the ritual of turning up at a foreign place, waiting in the waiting room and being led down some stairs to a suitably scrubbed room with a special bed with a hole in for your face that makes massage so effective. It actually made me feel very grown up and in control of my own life. (It's weird that a man of 42 might need such a feeling, but he does.) And no cheap gags about massage parlours, kids.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 12:26 PM
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I have 'Deep Tissue' once a month, and would highly recommend it. At the time, you feel as though your sinews are being individually detached from the bone with a laser ( I've been known to thump the couch and swear a lot), but you emerge feeling two inches taller.
And I believe the etiquette regarding shorts (for gentlemen) is that you leave them on unless specifically requested to do otherwise. If the massage therapist should need access to those areas ( ie, your 'glutes') she will request permission to whisk them to 'half mast'.
Hope the shoulder makes a good recovery. A good massage beats a can of Ralgex and a rough towel any day.
Phew, that's a relief! It's not that I'm cripplingly shy, just keen to get the etiquette right.
I'd like to put in a quick plug for osteopathy, while we're at it. My osteo says I'm a crack addict, as I feel a session isn't worth it unless he makes my spine 'pop', but whatever happens, you come out with your body feeling more 'open' and free, and it's particularly beneficial for those of us who spend most of the day hunched over computers.
Plus my osteopath is incredibly handsome.
I also lost my massage cherry this year on holiday, having a "couples" massage alongside my girlfriend. I was drifting away and in my own world in no time. This was fine until my girlfriend informed me on the way back to our hut that I was apparently so relaxed that about 5 mins from the end I had gently, but audibly, broken wind in the presence of the two masseuses. An occupational hazard for them, I'm sure, but still. I'd left a tip, but had I known at the time I'd have gladly signed over my worldly belongings before crawling off to bury myself in the sand. As it was I just gave the spa a wide berth for the rest of the holidays.
Ta for the tip on the deep tissue, ISBW, definitely going to give it a go.
I'm a bit too uptight for massages. Not sure what it is, but I'm uncomfortable having strangers rubbing my skin. However, I'm totally into relaxation. You may enjoy this site that let's you create your own relaxing music using all kinds of nature sounds.
relaxing nature sounds.
I love this thing.
I think the key to this whole story is in the first paragraph. Doing anything that you wouldn't normally do during the working day immediately brings relaxation.
I snuck out of my old job and got my hair done then took a flyer and went home, loved it, every one should do it every so often and having a sneaky massage is a good way to start.
"I have a greater affinity with women than men anyway, and I'd like to think they can pick this up. I asked if they had a copy of Nuts while I waited, but they didn't."
Excellent. I dribbled tea down my chin laughing at this!
Chris
Ah, without wishing to go all sordid, I have a brief story...
Trapped nerve in my neck sometimes flares up so I get it massaged out now and then. Had it done before a long flight to Australia last year and Osteopath (?) suggested that I must get a Thai massage while goimg through Bangkok and recommended one. Got there and tried the recommended one but it was closed because of the King's birthday. Clever enough to avoid the odd looking sites but then I went for one in the plush suite in my 5* hotel.
Cue very short and supple young lady who tweaked me in all sort of places, painful but rewarding kind of thing. Then she started work on the top of my thighs and I confess I was tring to remember al the teams in the premiership, all the James Bond films, anything to avoid what all blokes are worried about happening. Then she mutteres something which I needed repeated a couple of times, but in essence I was being offered 'extras' - I was utterly gob-smacked it was honestly the last thing I was expecting in a 5* hotel. I obvioulsy declined, but it was embarrassing and has put me off going again!!
AnonoNick
They've yet to offer massage as an option at Mr Topper on Great Russell Street (still only £6 for a gents haircut!) but should they start I'd gladly sign up.
Rather embarrassingly, even though we relocated to Glasgow in January, I've managed to visit Mr Topper more often than the local barber here.
"my only experience of a professional massage is the head massage they give as part of the package at the ladies' hairdressers chain I now use"
Where do you get your hair cut? I like the sound of that.
Five pound tip for a haircut? Really? I guess my purse needs a massage.
I used to have my hair cut in Windmill Street by a lovely lady called Griff and when she massaged my head while washing my hair.... Oh, diggedy!
I am still convinced that Happy Finish is an excellent name for a band...
Next time I'm in "Kevin's" getting my hair cut I'll mention the head massage idea to him.
And then run like the wind for the door.
£5 tip plus another £2 for the hairwash! Blimey Andrew, you are generous. I go to the same hairdresser chain and I don't give any tip as the haircut is very expensive in itself.
I would also like to promote Osteopaths. I go to one once a month and she is brilliant.
I had to go due to problems with my neck and back. I now go once a month as it helps to keep everything functioning well and the bad pain at bay.
I recommend osteopaths as they can tell you the probable cause of your pain and generally know more about the body. Highly recommended, especially if your shoulder hasn't been helped by your massage. In my experience, it's best to get it looked at before it gets too bad.
I agree with clare about getting your shoulder looked at if its still hurting. Working at a computer - indeed a laptop - is not good for muscular-skeletal health, i''ve had a history of rsi and a major back problem (i'm only 29!) myself so I know the triggers, and a sore shoulder is not a good thing. If you can see an osteopath who is part of a larger musclar-skeletal practice they can sometimes recommend you off for some physio, pilates etc. I have pilates sessions with a phsyio who is a trained pilates instructor (i'd recommend using someone from the pilates foundation, bettter trained) and thats fab.
Head massages at the hairdressers embarrass me! That tipping sounds extortionate, though I never tip at the hairdresser as I had the same hairdresser from age 5 to 18 so i never got into the habit and now i'm to embarrassed and never know how much or who to tip. It stresses me out every time. Although I am a student so that's my excuse as my haircut is pricey enough for me!
Billy, the chain I use is only in South London and Surrey. I don't know if that's any good to you?
It's funny, I only mentioned the amount I tip not to show off about my largesse, but because I was worried it wasn't enough. (I always assumed hair stylists and those that wash hair aren't well paid, and that they rely on tips.) That said, I didn't tip my masseur. I'll put that down to inexperience.
I will now see an ostepath. Thanks for all your advice. The clinic near me is being refurbished, which is why I had a normal massage elsewhere as interim relief.
Oh I'm into all of this... I'm training to be an aromatherapist/masseuse and it's lovely going away for the practical weekends. Two days solid of blending up fantastically smelling oils, plus giving and receiving massages to/from the other students. I'll qualify next year sometime!
Sorry to throw a spanner in at this point... I'm no expert and wouldn't want to have the last word or stop you trying something new, but I would go for the deep tissue massage ahead of osteopathy and physiotherapy. My long distance diagnoses of the cause of the shoulder pain is, as others have said, your writing at a computer. An osteopath might identify misalignment or whatever but you're still going to get tight muscles from sitting and being tense, both unavoidable, and I'm not convinced that it isn't the muscles pulling the bones out of position in most cases. I was told by an osteopath that I had a tilted pelvis that could've been tilted since birth, and yet everyone I know who has seen one has been told the same thing. I know what caused my problem and that it wasn't tilted from birth. For obvious reasons most osteopaths will want to keep you coming back so you need to be a little wary I think, particularly when you don't really understand what they're saying, as I didn't. My scepticism was reinforced by my doctor's withering dismissal of them, but then he's withering about everything. Just keep a healthy degree of coolness if you try it out, I'd say.
I also have an issue with physiotherapists in that I've gone with injuries that have turned out to be caused purely by tight muscles, and yet this has been completely missed, even by a national team's physio. I'm convinced that muscles are not very good - something a biology teaching relation agrees with - and that deep massage is absolutely brilliant.
"I suppose the best thing would be to know someone who can do massage and get them to do it for free..." - I agree with that, Andrew!
Whilst not a fan of any sort of massage - clothes off or head - another one with 'intimacy with strangers' issues, I recently had a course of Bowen technique treatments (guinea pigging for my holistic therapist friend who's in training). I'd never heard of it before but it involves pushing certain muscles back where they're supposed to go (mainly in the back, legs and head) which then frees up the energies. Hurt like hell in my lower back, but otherwise didn't do a thing for me. My friend has a client who's cancelled a back operation (a big one apparently, something to do with a crushed disc) because she's been free of pain ever since she had Bowen. I know holistic/homeopathy is to be approached with caution on here but interested to know if anyone else has experienced/would consider it?
Anonemma
Simon, I would try to steer away from saying things like "...most osteopaths...". Unless, of course, you have been to see a huge number of osteopaths.
A lot of GPs do not view osteopaths as reasonable treatment because they never used to be recognised by the NHS. But I believe they are now.
The osteopaths I have seen have been very good, but I do know the odd person who has not had such good experiences.
I would say that if you get the feeling that the osteopath wants you to come back for repeat appointments for no good reason, then you haven't got a decent one.
I have never found that to be an issue. If they are a good osteopath, then they will want to get you better as soon as possible. The same can be said for any medical profession, I guess.
My osteopath gives me good exercises to do for working at a computer and has given good advice over the months. It works for me.
I had my first massage for quite a while today. It was a bit sore but I was told that that was because I was a bit tense around the shoulders and a few more massages should sort that out. It's certainly a good way for her to get more business but I will probably be back anyway.
Clare, I've seen one osteopath and don't like to generalise so will retract that comment. That danger of being encouraged into endless return visits does worry me though and I'd still recommend watching out for that.
At first I was enthusiastic about my osteopath - he seemed to have identified a long standing problem which once sorted would apparently make a notable difference to me. I never noticed any difference and in the end resented the way he'd moved from treating my pelvis to treating my neck, ankles and everything else, without asking, as well as the way he expected me to keep coming back; it's not easy to be assertive when you're pretty ignorant about it all. Thinking about it now though, in between seeing him I was sitting at a computer a lot, which I don't think was ever discussed, so I was probably undoing some of his work. Your osteopath does sound better.
If it works well for you I wouldn't argue with that. I suppose different treatments aren't necessarily in opposition to each other and, predictably, it's a case of finding what (and who) works for you.
Simon, I don't know what kind of physios you've been seeing that would miss body alignment and muscle tensing, as thats the first things most i've seen have looked at.
The physios I have seen have been excellent - particularly my current one who I see for pilates, but occasionally does physio on me too if i have particular pain - i have had deep tissue massage and accupuncture, and they can do a full body assessment and work out where you need help, rather than someone just de-stressing the muscle in massage.
I first saw an oesteopath for my current back problem, but preferred a more proactive approach so moved onto physio then pilates. Its what works best for you.
Shoulder pain isnt always 'tension from computer', it can be a misalignment through bad posture causing nerve pressure (as mine recently was, and is the most common source of shoulder pain according to my pilates/physio, particularly if you work on a laptop) and can be a signal of something worse and rsi related. A physio can diagnose all this, and correct it, a massuese (?sp?) cannot!
Any good back clinic will be multi-practioner and have oseopaths, chiropracters, physios and pilates and sometimes alexander technique as well, these will all cross-refer. Just make sure they elong to all the relevant bodies.
This may be stating the obvious (that's what I'm here for mostly) but if you use a mouse with your right hand then seek out some health and safety info about good posture for working with a computer and make sure you're doing it right. At the very least make sure your right elbow/forearm is appropriately supported. Also, if you're using a laptop (and you are) then consider connecting an external keyboard and/or (but probably 'and') monitor. That way you can have the screen at a decent viewing height and still type without breaking your wrists. Laptops are evil and they will kill you. Prevention is better than cure, etc.
I guess 'what works for you' is the best summation, Faye. My slight cynicism about physios results purely from my experiences. I've seen several, all fully qualified and one who was a physio at an Olympics. At least one thing each of them said or did was criticised by at least one of the others - contradictory advice leaves you pretty frustrated and apt to not go there again. I admit such disagreement is hardly unique to them.
The muscle tension thing was simply this - I had a bad knee and went to a very bright physio who assessed me over several sessions and gave me lots of exercises to do. During that time I noticed my calf muscles were rather tight, and after massaging them my knee was suddenly fine, and I've never had problems with it again. Maybe the most important thing is to stick with one practitioner you rate so that they get to know you well.
I guess massage is just something I can believe in 100%, even if it is just 'running repair'. Also you don't have to do anything (if you don't do it yourself), which suits a lot of people. (All this is largely academic for me because I can't get decent massage near me anyway.)
Anyway, good luck to everyone battling evil computers.
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