Exterminate them all!
I sincerely hope you have never seen the television programme My Super Sweet 16. It's on MTV and although it's an American show - how could it not be? - it now exists in a xeroxed British version, called My Super Sweet 16 UK . If you haven't stumbled upon it, please don't seek it out unless you have a strong stomach. (If you do find it, please ensure you are not wearing shoes, as you may feel the urge to kick the television set in.)
Here's how it goes: a spoiled brat approaching their 16th birthday is corralled by the programme-makers into throwing a party to beat all previous parties. Now, who actually pays for all this is unclear. Certainly, the parents seem well off. The "narrative" of the show, which is typically murky for a "reality" format, involves the parents being ordered around by said brat, as preparations escalate, a dance routine is rehearsed and the centre of their universe becomes ever more demanding and appalling. If the programme is to be believed, 15-year-olds in America are all rich beyond their wildest dreams and interested only in designer labels, price tags and being "popular", a quality that can be bought with the aforementioned designer labels. Now, fair enough, most of us are pretty shallow at 15, caught between childish urges and creeping hormonal discomfort, but then most of us don't have access to blank cheques from daddy and an overinflated sense of our own importance. The Super Sweet 16 bash - heavily formulaic, if you watch more than one episode and you mustn't - always involves a "theme", a "performer" (ie. someone famous appearing to mime to a record and thus make the birthday boy/girl more popular with their squealing contemporaries), that dance routine, and a tantrum, when something fails to go right. Clearly, if you are going to organise a massive party, you don't leave stuff to the last minute, but they always do, in order for the programme to introduce some jeopardy where there really is none. Omigod, the snow machine isn't big enough! The Bollywood dance routine won't fit on the stage! They can't book Kayne West! (They all seem to want to book Kanye West.)
It's trash telly, but it's also deeply frightening that there are kids out there this materialistic and hollow, and parents out there so unable to provide love they substitute it with money, in the process creating a monster. I'm afraid I've seen a number of these things now, mostly the UK ones, and if someone told me that the whole thing was set up and that the parents and kids were played by actors, I wouldn't be surprised. Charlie Brooker, whose Screenwipe shamefully brought the show to my attention, called it "an Al-Qaeda recruitment film," and I can't top that for accuracy. You stagger away from watching it with the cast-iron certainty that we are all going to hell.
Of course, it can be watched for morbid fun. Midway through, the party-thrower is helicoptered or chauffeured to a photogenic location, there to hand out the invites to a scrum of schoolfriends (and I use the word "friends" in the social networking sense). It is here that "reality" comes unmoored from reality. If there really are kids like this out there in the country I live in, I want them removed from the gene pool. This may sound harsh, but if these 15 year olds grow up thinking that wealth is everything, what are their eventual offspring going to grow up thinking? (A dimwit from Essex who conspired with her "friends" not to invite any "losers" or "ugly people" to her James Bond-themed party, to which a mercenary Akon turned up to mime his song, was given a bracelet that cost as much as a car.)
As ever, I blame the parents. I am reluctant to criticise parenting, not being one myself, but the cowed, unthinking, credit-card-swiping fools on this programme (all "new money") have misunderstood what parenting actually is.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 2:44 PM
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Saw the Brooker excerpt, which I recall was from the US version of the show. My jaw could not have gone any lower when the brat of the week screamed "I hate you! You've ruined my life!" at her uncomprehending parents. And why?
They'd delivered her birthday present - a Lexus - a day early.
Title of 'First against the wall come the revolution' has a lot of competition these days.
Jon
I think my head's going to explode: now I want to see a programme I'd never want to see!
On the 'we're all going to hell' materialism theme, and at the risk of sounding like Victor Meldrew, yesterday -- 3 January for heaven's sake -- I saw my first Easter eggs of the year being put on the shelves at my local Waitrose. This has got to be some sort of record, n'est ce pas?
The al-Qaeda tape is a brilliant summary, and like he said the programme surely knows how much it would annoy most human beings in the world. I feel bad about thinking "What a c*nt" about fifteen year old girls but this programme does have that effect.
I'm not a parent myself either, AC, but from seeing friends' kids in action in the run-up to xmas it seems that consumerism has already got a hold well before the age of the horrors on that show (thanks for the warning, btw - will avoid like the plague). Peer-pressure has always been there - the fact I had a bike didn't stop me wanting a skateboard when many other kids got them - I guess the difference is that in the 70s my parents couldn't/wouldn't take out loans to pay for stuff they couldn't afford. (The lack of a skateboard as a kid hasn't left any damage beyond a lingering suspicion that Tony Hawks ought to get himself a proper job at some stage).
I didn't see any of the Jim'll Fix It re-runs/new edits last year, but I'd wager that if the show were in it's heyday now it'd be a very different affair. One of my junior school classmates was lucky enough to get on in the late 70s. Her wish? To be the back half of a pantomime horse with John Noakes doing the other half - duly granted. I can't imagine such an innocent (and non-materialistic) request making TV these days.
Nope I'm not a parent either, but I don't see why that should preclude one from criticising the parenting skills of others.
It seems to me that there are plenty of music/theatre/film critics in the media who have no qualifications or experience in musicianship/acting/directing/lighting/editing, etc, etc. Yet everyone accepts their criticism as they are able to watch, observe and compare "good" and "bad" techniques in all of those fields.
In fact, as a non-parent critic of others' parenting skills, most of us do have the experience of being brought up, with varying degrees of success, by our own parents. In my book, that makes a child of parents more qualified to criticise parenting skills than Peter Bradshaw, Mark Kermode or your good self are qualified to criticise films.
[Not that any of you are bad film reviewers, of course!]
I particularly like the bit where they get girls/boys - depending on their preference - to dance/take their tops off/generally demean themselves in order to be chosen for the party. It's appalling but hard to switch off like so many of these types of shows. Didn't think they could find that level of spoiled brat in the UK- how wrong I was.
Maybe I'm just bitter that today is exactly 16 years since my 16th birthday and no-one has ever given me a Lexus.
Louise B
Interesting comparison, PT, although my only "qualification" for reviewing films is based on having seen an awful lot of films. Other critics have seen even more, including Mark Kermode and Peter Bradshaw. Also, to criticise a film is to do no more than a paying member of the public has the right to do. To criticise a parent is slightly different if you have no experience of parenting. I may have ideals about how I'd do it, but that doesn't compare with the tricky business of actually doing it, every day.
That said, the parents on My Super Sweet 16 should clearly have been sterilised.
I've banned myself from saying 'I'm not a parent, but...'. Parenting has become so ridiculous, with so many mollycoddling mums and dads refusing to say 'no' to their increasingly brattish offspring that I think the cooler, more detatched and common-sensical eye of those of us without a family is more needed than ever!
I've seen a few eps of said telly-kicking show, including the one Jon watched, and really feel it ought to be run with some kind of editorial commentary pointing out what a bunch of monsters these kids are, otherwise teenagers do see it as some kind of bible on how to behave. Still, can't have any moralising can we, that's SOOO UNFAIR!!
I Saw Charlie Brooker's view of it aswell. He absolutely torned into it and rightly so. With the classic line: 'Praying and getting on your hands and knees and hoping for a Nuclear Holocaust.' In the words of The Good Doctor Mark Kermode 'Its Genuinely evil and the end of civilisation as we know it.'
Saw you on Film 24 Earlier today Andrew (sitting in for Mark Kermode I presume) I might go and see that film about Bob Dylan-it looks interesting.
Happy New Year Andrew!
Actually, as a parent of 2, ahem, lovely, children, this kind of programme makes me feel a bit better. I used to watch 'honey we're killing the kids' while I was up feeding my son in the middle of the night and during the one in which it was revealed that the 'before' diet of the children included the equivalent of a massive 89 teaspoons of sugar A DAY EACH, I suddenly realised that I could stop feeling guilty each time I didn't quite manage to live up to my parenting ideals because at least there was no way I could do it worse than these fools!
But yes, the other way of watching these kinds of programmes is weeping on your knees because we are all going to hell in a hand basket.
My children were in a definite minority in the run-up to xmas in that they didn't have a great big list of 'wants' usually culled from peer pressure/tv/the argos catalogue but then we have made a huge effort to ensure that they aren't exposed to the consumer culture that encourages it. It is very hard to avoid it though.
I think it's probably safe to assume that any MTV reality show is as fake as... well, something that's definitely fake anyway. You only have to consider the logistics of finding 22 identikit spoilt rich kids with parents too stupid to stop the show going out, let alone to take part in the first place. And on top of that they've all got to be capable of behaving "naturally" (by which I mean un-self-consciously) in front of the cameras. (Lord only knows how Jeremy Kyle finds so many people with extraordinary stories to tell who can do this too...)
I guess the show is intended to invoke this reaction from adults because what other reaction could it possibly invoke? I'd also guess that the shows are popular with kids because there's a kind of fantasy lifestyle on display while at the same time they can sneer at the hideous spoilt kids. Essentially it's: "They might have all that stuff but what a bunch of cocks. I'm better than them." Which isn't so different from The Apprentice really.
Ahem - I am a parent, and whilst I agree with what you say about this horrendous show, is there any chance that any of the contributors thus far who aren't actually parents could maybe give me a few clues on how I should be doing things? Today was one of the few days that I actually had to spend all day looking after both my children (4 & 1 years old) and I was a combination of knackered and frustrated and proud and relieved when my wife got home from work. So - I'm sure that as well as just criticising those of us with children, maybe you could use some of your knowledge gained from watching others on telling me I could better cope next time this happens. Sorry if I sound bitter and sarcastic, but I'd really like to know what people think. Cheers (and sorry to interupt).
As a practising parent, I think the people you described in the programme require, at least, some constructive criticism and probably a lot more than that.
Scary.
Hey, Robert, this was never supposed to be parents versus non-parents. The kids and parents on these shows are pretty extreme.
Fair enough Andrew - it just seemed to be heading that way for a while. Of course the fools on this programme are (hopefully!) at the extreme edge of things - it is (as I'm sure I'll find out even more in years to come) a minefield out there with all sorts of influences on my children trying to raise their expectations of what they should be "entitled" to. I have only seen the US-version of this so far - I had blithely assumed that that was where it would remain - to find out that there is now a UK-version as well, fills me with dread about the state of (even a small proportion) the nation.
What if the whole show is staged to elicit just this sort of reaction ?
It's possible, Bill. But I seriously worry a) that there are people out there that would even participate in such a circus (ie. seemingly unaware that their actions are despicable), and b) that certain young folk might find the lifestyles aspirational. If it really is the case that the programme-makers are on "our" side and wish to show up a certain hardcore within the nouveau rich for the hollow idiots they are, they are also playing a dangerous game. If that were the case, then the 15 year-old brats and their daft parents would be the "victims". They certainly don't behave that way.
When I trot out the cliche, "I blame the parents," I do actually mean it, in that parents are responsible for the upbringing of their kids. Which is to say that parents are to blame for a lot of bad behaviour in kids - and friends of mine who teach are wont to back this up. Whether it's through absenting themselves from the parenting process (sending kids off to boarding school being the obvious example), actual abuse, or just questionable parenting (failure to admonish or correct for fear of jeopardising your role as the child's "best friend" - a faintly ridiculous notion when young - or dressing toddlers up in adult-themed t-shirt slogans, thus sexualising them before their time). A non-parent surrounded by parents can't help but notice these things. I wouldn't for a minute actually criticise any parent I knew directly, as it's none of my business, but I am entitled to wonder how I might act in a similar situation. (A cosy, hypothetical place to do so from, I know.) I admire all parents - it's my default setting. Just I admire anyone who does voluntary work, which is what it is. But there are good and bad ways of doing voluntary work.
Once again I think you've really hit the nail on the head with this post.
I remember when MTV started and there was a great deal of discussion about it being alternative, and a break from the establishment. It was almost as if it was a political movement shaking up traditional TV.
But what is the lifestyle that MTV promotes to us? It is to achieve wealth and fame - vacuous hollow qualities.
As AC puts it:
"it's also deeply frightening that there are kids out there this materialistic and hollow, and parents out there so unable to provide love they substitute it with money, in the process creating a monster"
Naomi Klein wrote a fair bit about MTV in No Logo arguing that far from being a radical alternative, MTV was really promoting the age old idea that anyone can get rich, and that money and popularity are all that matter.
There was a review in the Guardian I remember which noted that Danielle Lloyd was being hired as a date for one of the boys on an episode of this programme. The review stated that this was the sort of spiritual hell and moral low that someone who was making racist comments on Big Brother so richly deserved, and noted how she was almost literally prostituting herself by being paid to be the date of some jumped up teenager.
Once upon a time I was a teacher (both here in Dublin and for a couple of years in Manhattan's Lower East Side).
On parent-teacher evening I could almost always identify the parents of certain children not by their appearance but by their behaviour. After meeting some of the parents I tended to feel a little more sorry for the children. Not so sorry that I could ever forgive the little sh1t who brought a loaded gun into my class.
Now I'm a parent and our eldest has just turned 13. Our 3 are not materialistic and I'm so proud of how they behave with respect to money,toys,technology etc. Of course they 'want' stuff but it's all within reason and we've never felt under pressure to 'get' anything. Prior to Christmas our eldest couldn't decide what she'd like to get from Santa this year. Why ? Because a few weeks ago we were adopted by a stray kitten. All she's ever really wanted (apparently !) is a cat. That's when I knew the years of helping them question what was being presented to them on TV was paying off.
It's really tough though when you have neighbours who are at the extreme of the TV programme you describe Andrew. They get everything when they want it (which is usually now). They're also obese and all three have unspecified 'learning difficulties'. It takes an incredib le amount of tact to ensure that whatever we say to our own kids doesn't get repeated to the neighbours kids or World War III will break out on our cul-de-sac.
For every one thing that technology (such as TV) brings to the toolset of a parent in the 21st century there are a dozen other blue meanies out there lying in wait.
Take heart that there are people speaking out against this kind of parenting - have you read Toxic Childhood by Sue Palmer? And some of her colleagues, such as Dr Richard House, other childcare experts such as Steve Biddulph are all trying to bring issues in parenting more in the public eye, usch as good food, play, exercise, sleep etc...
I think Charlie Brooker hit the nail on the head when he said 'that this is a programme that actively encourages you to dislike the participants.'
You know that the producers are there winding the kids up to act like bigger brats. Because if you are not screaming at the TV then the show is not working.
So while I may feel irritated at the parents for being so weak. I blame the producers. that is where the real cynicism lies.
When I were a lad, all we wanted at a party was a room, a stereo, no parents and as much cheap booze as we could get hold of.
"peterindublin" has got it spot on. My girl's only 3 and I find myself keeping her away from some of my neighbours' children because I don't want their poor behaviour to rub off. We must be one of the only gardens that doesn't have one of those massive trampolines that litter Google Earth. I also find myself switching over from adverts that may give my daughter ideas.
Cbeebies - no adverts!
The parents on these Sweet 16 programmes are to blame. They either don't have the time or the inclination to put the effort into bringing their children up in a disciplined environment where they'll learn to respect money and other people. Assuming mummy and daddy don't "buy" them a good job, these kids will get one hell of a shock in the real world. Now that I would like to see.
Kenny Everett had the right idea -"round them up in a field and bomb the bastards!!!
On a completely unrelated subject, I just wanted to say I really like your post describing all your favourite albums and singles and have spent the last few days downloading and listening to them all.
Why don't you do a post listing all the bands and artists you think are going to be up and coming in 2008, and any other songs you'd recommend. I'm sure you know a lot more than I or a lot of other people do, being a (former) DJ and all.
There was a piece in the papers over the weekend about 'helicopter parenting', the latest element of which involves parents negotiating career plans and even pay rises for their mollycoddled offspring. Gah!
I read this post the morning after a couple I know revealed their intention to award their daughter a 'limo party' for he birthday in April. Her tenth birthday. Presumably for her 21st, they're already saving for a flight to the moons of Jupiter.
If you ever get the chance, watch South Park's version of Super Sweet Sixteen. Satan wants a party after seeing the programme. He has the tantrums, the costume changes, the car shape cake that never quite makes it to the club, and the people from hell who can't get in because there are too many celebs in there... Never seen the real programme but this episode is etched in my mind...
Whoever just anonymously left the comment about South Park - please could you re-send it with a name attached. As stated, I won't publish anonymous comments, and I'd like to publish yours!
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