Have a nice day
Manners Manifesto Update. Just a small incident. I ordered my usual coffee at not-my-usual coffee shop - the large decaff soya latte - and the young gentleman behind the counter who made it for me gave me a withering look as he handed it over. (The "Large" is way too big at Costa, but the "Medium" is smaller than the "Grande" I'm used to at Caffe Nero.) "This is not a coffee," he said, with concerned sympathy. "Decaff? With soya?" I was slightly disarmed by his subjective insult of my coffee choice but man enough to stand by it, and I said, with a smile, "But I don't want caffeine, and I don't want dairy, so in fact, this is the perfect coffee for me!" My argument was sound, and all the better for having been defended. He wasn't being rude - in fact, he was doing what I myself advocated, which is to make contact, make conversation, prove we are not coffee machines, and I rather admired his honesty. Convinced, at least by my logic, he bid me farewell with an "Enjoy, Sir!" that also took on an air of sympathy. Poor sap, he was probably thinking.
I applaud the young man in Costa. Maybe he's right. Maybe it's not a coffee. But at least we had a dialogue.
(Incidentally, I've remembered another key facet of the Manners Manifesto which I didn't write down: the respectful negotiation of other people as you pass through a crowded place. Look up at all times; judge distances; allow for people who are running for trains when you're just ambling; always apologise if you make contact; never barge; do your utmost not to step on the person in front's heels; smile at fellow travellers if it gets really crowded - you're all in this together.)
posted by Andrew Collins @ 5:18 PM
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Yes AC, quite right.
Now, how about a starter for ten on queuing; understanding the concept and purpose; awareness of existence of; basic identification of/key indicators; a field guide to common types of queue, i.e.,- the perpendicular line/the angle/the 's'/the loose zig-zag/the crowd and gate/etc.
The etiquette of joining; use of the words 'is there a queue?'
Suitable responses in the case of queue enquirers (see above)/queue jumpers/queue bargers.
Reasons for not starting a queue of your own from the opposite direction in order to avoid the wait.
Dealing with different cultural traditions towards queuing and having respect for those who queue.
A good addition to the manners manifesto, I think I'd add, especially if in control of a pushchair or supermarket trolley.
Before I had children I vowed never to use the phrase, "Excuse me! I have a pushchair!" which I often heard expressed by an indignant parent as she barged through other people believing that she had special right to the pavement. I kept to that vow and never used my pushchair as a weapon.
If you've ever been hit in the ankle by a shopping trolley or had your fingers squashed between yours and someone else's you'll understand my second proviso.
All true, but really there's nothing more unhelpful than walking through M&S and having someone who's already only inches away from you, stop dead and directly in front of you so that the only thing you can do is bump into them. Unless that's just me and another demonstration of why I shouldn't drive a car because I couldn't put the breaks on fast enough.
Not really relevant to this post but.... I watched the History of Light Entertainment prog on BBC4 on Monday and I must say that you came across really well. The trick was that you smiled when you spoke and it looked like you really appreciated the subject. Others on there came over as worthy or (mainly) self-important. Worst culprits: Malcolm Gerrie who spoke as though he practically invented music television and discovered Madonna; and Paul King, whose Garth Crooks-esque ramblings were high-comedy.
Impertinent youth. I'd have boxed his ears, but in a polite way.
Can I add 'wipe your own sweat off any gym equipment you might use before the next person inadvertently sits down in it' to the Manners Maifesto?
Great idea, belated Happy New Year to you.
Thanks, kb. And yes to the sweat-wipe etiquette Ishouldbeworking. That reminds me: must go to the gym before the year gets too old!
This manners manifesto is all well and good, if you're a robot. If you're a human, you need to factor in things like your temper, patience and sef-respect, all of which will be tested the second you leave the house...
As for this young lad, he had a point, and the fact he's in a dead-end job probably made him more prone to being cynical than he usually might be with a stranger.
I don't think he was being cynical, Swines. I think he was being honest. I went back to Caffe Nero today, where one can order whatever one likes without comment!
What I find interesting is the fact that more and more staff are becoming reluctant to sell customers exactly what they want, even those items they have for sale in the shop. I was in a furniture shop the other day buying a sideboard type thing. I was also interested in the matching TV stand thing, which they didn't have in the shop, but which I saw a picture of on their website (which they showed me in the shop). The young woman dealing with me was very helpful and said they should be able to order it, but her immediate superior was most reluctant to do so as I hadn't seen it "in the flesh" as it were. He used the old "it's head office not us" quip and did all he could to put me off. It was only because I insisted it was my risk and I wouldn't return the thing that he eventually relented and let me buy it. Madness.
Hey, let's name names: House Of Fraser. We went in there last year and found a lampshade we wished to purchase. It being a department store, I went to find somebody who could serve us. He said he would try and find somebody from the lighting department. This was a Saturday afternoon, but he came back and said that the lighting person was on a break and he was the only person who could deal with us, as if this was as far as we could take the matter. Keen to buy the lampshade, I sent him off to find a superior who could help us. He was gone for quite a while. He came back, said he'd spoken to a superior and since the lighting man was on his break, there was nothing they could do. I was flabbergasted.
I double checked with him: "So, what you're saying is, you don't want to sell us this light? That you're prepared for a potential customer to just walk out of the shop?" He replied that this, regrettably, was indeed the case. In shock, we left the store, never to return ever again.
(He was polite enough, by the way, but then so were we. It did not solve what looked to me to be a soluble problem, but hey. Some people who work in shops are idiots.)
Manners up date from the Black Country. This morning in Sainsbury's the chip and Pin machine was faulty on the checkout serving me. the woman immediately behind me tutted quite loudly.
I looked at her smiled and said in a non sarcastic voice 'only be a minute' and she smiled back obviously a little embarassed.
I can only hope she takes it in the way I do when a light is held up to my behaviour and think 'You really are an idiot Pete, Chill the fuck out.' Except her name probably was not Pete.
Don't you just love 'em. I took one of those light up trees back to one of our big DIY stores - on account of it being rubbish - and the disinterested youth took the trouble to lean over the counter, point his bar code reader at it and grunt a request for my card. There could have been anything in that box; the tree, a dead body, or it may have been completely empty - genius!
I am a Nero (or Cafe Nerd as my kids call it) fan - Costa stuff seems to be served in a bucket size..
But anyway, as a regular cinema goer, what gets me is the use of mobiles. Not just the talking but the turning them on to read texts. So there you are engrossed in a film (or St Trinian's) and suddenly there are about three blue glows distracting you because people under 25 are unable to turn their sodding mobiles off.
Please consider this for your manifesto of manners..!
AnnonoNick
Mighty Pierre has reminded me of the time I went to buy a paper from Hackney Woolworths. On the shop counter was a Peter Andre scent called 'Insania'. I looked at it and said
'Jesus, can you believe that exists?' and the teenage shop assistant girl said
'Yeah... and it don't smell too good neither'.
Can we add to the amendement to respect people's space in queues at banks and post offices?
Following your manifesto I posted this on the Word blogs
http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/everything-must-go
Only one taker so far, but we try.
I'm sure I've posted something similar before, but it's a relief to know I'm not the only "decaff with soya milk" drinker. My boss, who's a proper Double Espresso-drinking Italian, is similarly sceptical and concerned about the whole thing.
x
Some people need caffeine to cope with London; I couldn't cope with London with caffeine inside me. I've tried it. Luckily, asking for a grande decaff soya latte is no more ridiculous sounding than one of the "hard" or "cool" drinks.
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