Hello London
The Brit Awards 2008: it was rubbish wasn't it? I realise I only watch it for old times' sake, as I used to have to attend as a gentleman of the music press, but in terms of sheer scale it's lost any connection it may once have had with its audience. The last Brits I went to must have been 1997, when Geri Halliwell sported the Union Jack dress. Maconie and I were co-hosting Radio 1's live coverage for the second year running - something I now find almost impossible to believe, it' s so surreal - so in 1996 we actually watched the messianic Michael Jackson Earth Song routine on a tiny monitor in a Portakabin in the car park of Alexandra Palace. We were literally locked out of the love-in, although we did get to interview all five Spice Girls and Diana Ross, and when Blur won everything the year before, it was great to interview them directly afterwards and share their champagne. Anyway, my spectacles may be rose-tinted, but the move from Ally Pally to the even more cavernous Earl's Court seemed to sound a death-knell for any atmosphere, certainly for the millions watching at home.I watch it every year with diminishing returns a guarantee. Having also sat through the Grammys this year (oh my God), I can at least say that the TV coverage of the Brits is at least professional and clear. But the headline live performances last night were either dull (Kaiser Chiefs, McCartney - wow, so he does some Beatles numbers does he? it's been a while since I saw his face too! - Kylie) or misfires (the poor old Klaxons forced to be Rhianna's backing group - the indignity!, way too many dancers with Leona Lewis), and although I think Take That deserve their dues, most of the winners were either shrugworthy (Mika, Mark Ronson, Kanye West, Kylie, Foo Fighters) or embarrassing (and I speak of my musical heroes the Arctic Monkeys, who really need to learn a bit of grace). As for the presenters! Vic Reeves making a tit of himself, Moyles making a tit of himself, Andrew Lloyd Webber making a etc. etc. Only Kelly Osbourne emerged with any professional dignity. Her mum was a gurning idiot. And I'm afraid Amy Winehouse just scares the living daylights out of me. Good booking and all, but no thanks. She should be heard and not seen.
Ah well, serves me right for tuning in. Yes, I'll be tuning in again next year. (Oh, and haven't we done Tom Baker's ironic delivery now?)
posted by Andrew Collins @ 6:56 PM
30 Comments
Contact
Andrew at
30 Comments:
If you're still interested, Mark Owen said, "Can I just say, I've been sat in my chair up there. What a great year of music. Some fucking great songs tonight. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic."
What do you mean, that was a year ago?
It's a reflection of the times in which we live. The impact and importance of such television has been diluted by the proliferation of hundreds of channels, couple that with the charts becoming less relevant to the youth of today as new music becomes more accessible via more and more mediums and the whole thing becomes irrelevant. So we are left with the tedious spectacle of last night. As ITV try to engineer controversy and look cool, but go and spoil it all by giving awards to quite dull people. Oh and I have to agree, Amy Winehouse's solo performance was quite disturbing. She reminded me of an old woman in ahome. Pulling away at her dress like that. God, I'm really turning into a miserable old git.
I missed it - and I pleased. I went to see Hot Chip who were bloody marvellous.
Simon James x
I just don't care any more. I got more of a thrill from standing next to Ricky Wilson at the Christmas TOTP and making a feeble joke about meat raffles. I like Kelly Osbourne, though, she's made a proper go of being a telly presenter, unlike her mum, the shreiking nitwit.
Well, now that a lot of the presents have started to be given out to Brit school alumni, I think the credibility has started to go down the plughole.
It begins to feel like another marketing-led X factor type insider club, and the dodgy Sharon appearance doesn't help to defuse the ITV/TV Quick vibes either..
Oh dear - it may be another media inside job machine starting up...Quick! Can it!
The sad thing is that this awards ceremony (along with the proliferation of dozens of others) is now all about a load of journey-men musicians (in the main) having a massive p*ss up and slapping each other on the back. They all seem so smug about the fact they are in this wonderful club where they get to a*se about at fancy after show parties and spray champagne over each other, and us normal people are excluded. Might sound like sour grapes that I am not on the gravy train of celebrity, but where are the real music makers any more? Amy Winehouse in rehab again - who cares? The Arctic Monkeys all wearing tweed - very anarchic. Vic Reeves p*ssed on stage - predictable. Sharoon Osborne shrieking at other celebs - pathetic attention seeking. Kylie blubbing about her award and then getting vought a £35K cocktail - dull. And so on. The sooner these sort of shindigs are either scrapped or have their tedious television coverage removed the better. Then maybe we can have someone other than the X Factor winner at number one at Christmas.
Apologies for the rant but my train was cancelled for the second day running today. Welcome to the real world, celebrities.
In my view the Brits went downhill after they stopped showing it live - the various cock ups were the only reason anyone tuned in to watch them. Bring back Sam & Mick I say!
Remember that period in the late 80s/early 90s when Annie Lennox used to win 'Best British Female Artist' for year after year? Talk about getting stuck in a rut!
Not every day you read the words "Only Kelly Osbourne emerged with any professional dignity". True though!
http://thatjokeisntfunny.blogspot.com/
I had a lucky escape by watching the football. As United clawed back a goal and got the draw, I channel hopped on the final whistle and jumped into the Brits just at the point that Vic Reeves lurched onto the stage. I stayed with it to the end, it was car-crash TV and my jaw was firmly on the floor.
And this is our music flagship broadcast around the world?
AnonoNick
Same here, I watch it out of nostalgia. But as dull as dishwater this year. Ooh, aren't the Artic Monkeys controversial and cheeky! Amy dancing like she needs a wee. The Klaxons with their funny costumes. Leona and that awful dress. Kylie looking more and more like a drag queen. And Vic forgetting to thank the sponsors. But yes, I'll watch next year too...as we don't want to miss out to gossip the day after! - Ms Bickers
Fish. Barrel. Shooting?
David, Liverpool
I found it utterly depressing Andrew. What a group of unprofessional, spoilt, self-indulgent people. And where was the talent and the music? - very well hidden by those that have/had it. And why did they keep Fern backstage? - she should have been out front with Kelly sorting out the sorry mess. Shame on all of them.
Phil S
Complaining about the Brits is like complaining that TOTPs was no good at various points of the 70s, 80s and 90s. There was never anything wrong with it (until Andi Peters reinvented it for his own ego anyway), it’s poor phases just reflected the British music scene’s ups and downs.
So it is with The Brits. Yeah they could have had better presenters but it’s the quality of the recipients that’s the real problem. Other than Take That (who’d have thought it eh?) they were the most undeserving bunch ever but then it merely reflects our music scene. Sorry Andrew but if you can champion people like Kate Nash then you are part of the problem. Just another product of that fucking awful conveyor belt of vacuous female singer songwriters that the music industry is obsessed with at the moment.
And, with the laudable exception of KT Tunstall who actually served her time and worked for what she has, they all appear to be coming from that one place, the Smugfest that is the Brit School factory. Close it down for Christ sake. I agree the Arctic Monkeys should learn a bit of humility (as well as some new tunes to go with the admittedly excellent lyrics) but their piss take of those wannabe wankers at the front was a joy to behold.
Totally off-topic I know Andrew, but I wondered if you had heard if it was true that Carter will be playing Brixton again this coming November?
I hope so. The tears from missing it last time, Oh! the tears...
David: I daresay there might be an element of fish-shooting about having a pop at the Brits, but I was at least comparing the event to better days.
Nice to hear a shout out for Fearne Cotton from Phil there. She is, if nothing else, an enthusiast. Enthusiastic for, like, absolutely everything in the world (except, like, war and disease and stuff), but it's better than being a miserable, ungrateful sod like the Arctic Monkeys.
I read the pro-Monkeys analysis in the Guardian today from Dorian Lynskey and I respect his view (and yours, Oldnathan), but I'm afraid I've had it with their attitude problem. I love their music, as declared elsewhere many times, but I wish they'd show a bit more gratitude. They may think they're taking the piss out of the industry by not turning up and sending stupid filmed messages and dressing up a bit, but they're indirectly taking the piss out of their fans in TV Land. That's how it looks to me.
I'm still reeling from Oldnathan's assertion that I am "part of the problem" for "supporting" Kate Nash. I don't "support" her, I like her. I bought her album. I don't "support" any wider trend within the music industry by liking her - I just like her. Steady on, in other words!
Ians, I have indeed heard that Carter will play Brixton again. The press release went out this week with the following information:
Birmingham Carling Academy on Friday 21st November
Brixton Carling Academy on Saturday 22nd November
The 22nd is Jim Bob’s birthday and for these two days he and hopefully the audience will be partying like it's 1992.
Tickets go on sale on Friday 29th February from 9am.
www.livenation.co.uk
Please stop reeling and I’ll steady on.
This might seem a tad pedantic but I never used the word "supporting", so putting speech marks around it is a bit misleading. Unintentional I'm sure but it does alter my point. I said 'Champion' and you certainly have on here and you are in a position of influence unlike the rest of us. I genuinely feel that you would be doing us all a favour if you denounced her music but of course you should feel free to buy her album and enjoy it and I wish you no ill will for doing so. But then don't come running to me (unlikely I agree) when she becomes part of that travesty we witnessed on Wednesday evening.
Oh and I really don’t like Arctic Monkeys and I think their attitude stinks but you know… the enemy of my enemy is my friend with regard to the Brit School digs.
It's not pedantic, OldNathan, I did indeed wrap speechmarks around the incorrect word, for which I apologise. Although "champion" is a much more dramatic way of describing what I did, which was write about how much I like her. "Denounce" is another dramatic word, one which I know you have chosen for effect, but I'd rather save up my "denouncements" for politicians and evildoers. Not singer-songwriters. Kate Nash is already a part of the "travesty" of Wednesday evening, as she won a Brit. I was pleased that she won one. I don't much like the Brit School takeover of modern music, as I quite like people who just make their own way, but I can't allow this to stop me liking an artist I like. Arctic Monkeys' daft attitude problem won't stop me liking them either.
Christ I can feel myself backing down so far and so fast in light of your calm reasonableness that I may end up changing my mind and agreeing with you about KN at this rate.
No. She's awful. And the Brit School is as scary as X-Factor.
Don't get me started on The Hoosiers or whatever they are called...
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition: amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as being reasonable.
The best thing I can say about the Hoosiers is that they're so bad I assumed they were American. So hats off to them for being that bad and British.
I got a text message from my aunt (she's in her mid-60s) to say Macca was playing [I'm a fan but agree he needs to lay-off the same old Beatles tunes... but I digress).
I was out for a business dinner and *didn't mind* that I had missed the Brits. Now that's quite a rubicon I've crossed. I'm 41 and have been obsessed with popular music since c.1970
I haven't moved on. The Brits, Grammies, rentacrowdawardshow.com etc etc etc haven't kept up with me.
However if those kind folks at the Brits were to offer my humble songs an award or even a nomination I would accept with the humility that becomes an artist grateful for the recognition of their peers. Wow. That's a long sentence.
This is the Dublin correspondent signing-off.
http://myspace.com/imadethebbc
Thought you'd do a blog about this Andrew! I saw it and I thought it was ok the performances were good (Kaisers,Kylie,and Macca) The Osbournes alright. The Arctic Monkeys looked as if they didn't want to be there and why they decided to dress up as characters from Last of the Summer Wine is anybodys guess. However There is one thing that made me smile on Wednesday night was Fearne Cotton doing the backstage interviews (You know what I think of her Andrew.) I agree what Phil says in that she should have hosted the event itself. Memo to Brits Committee:The Osbournes were fine but get Fearne for '09!
Is it just me or is "Dance Tonight" the worst song Paul McCartney has ever done? And that includes the "Frog Chorus".
I was pleased Kate Nash won because I liked her album and I don't care what school she went for. I was also pleased that Leona Lewis left with brussel sprout. The sooner The X-Factor finishes the better.
The Frog Chorus is a fine piece of music - arguably the best thing Macca has done since John Lennon died (which I acknowledge is not saying that much). Dance Tonight is - on so many levels - utter shite, but I've never before heard so many people whistling or singing the same song the day after one TV performance. And it doesn't even have a tune you can whistle. Odd.
The one thing you can say about the Brit School artistes is that that they usually have a genuine aptitude for music and they're more likely than most to turn out tunes you can whistle. I'm going on about tunes you can whistle here not because I think "all modern music is bang bang bang and ooh baby baby and you can't hear the words and is that a boy or a girl?" but because writing well-crafted pop music went out with the whole barred chords thing that punk unleashed, and whatever post-disco is called. I'm not saying there hasn't been any since the late seventies but there hasn't been much. And I'm not saying that well-crafted music is necessarily better or has more worth. But at least some kind of musical talent is on display. And it gives you something to whistle.
I'm no longer the target market for pop music or The Brits. I don't "believe" in the Osbournes enough to care what they do. But I like the Arctic Monkeys (funny, poignant, mostly unwhistleable but deceptively complex arrangements) and if I were younger than them I'd probably think, "Good on 'em," rather than, "You need to learn some manners." And I like Kate Nash (funny, poignant, eminently whistleable).
My eight-year-old neice saw H in panto and has become a Steps fan. She's pretty perceptive ("They're exactly the same as Hi-5") but she hasn't noticed yet that all the songs have the same back beat in the same tempo (even the slow ones). I suspect she'll be embarrassed about having been a Steps fan eight years too late. But I think she'll have less reason to be embarrassed about the manufactured pop she'll be listening to next than she would have had if she'd been born ten or twenty years earlier.
Note to Jim Walker: the only reason I haven't published the comment you sent is out of respect for the person you mentioned in it at a potentially sensitive time. I hope you understand and don't see it as censorship. Feel free to enter into a private correspondence with me about it by using the Contact Me link, top right.
The Stepford School for Tunes You Can Whistle (more than most). Great.
Oldnathan, what does it matter, really? Pop is pop. Do you buy pop? (This is actually starting to sound like The Frog Chorus now.) What's better: manufactured pop made by producers with mullets sticking their thumbs up at soap stars; or manufactured pop made by people who might actually have had a hand in writing the (yes) tune and who can play it? Well possibly they're as bad as each other but there's been manufactured pop as long as there's been pop and it isn't going anywhere soon. I probably won't be buying the records either way but if I get to express a preference then I'll choose the latter any time.
The awards don’t matter, no. The Brits have always been a joke. It matters to me though that there really was no alternative to this rather pathetic line up because, like I said, it reflects the paltry state of our music scene.
Although I may come across like a music snob, I’m really not. I have no problem with manufactured pop. However I would prefer Girls Aloud to any of the Brit School lot simply because I think it’s more honest. I couldn’t give a toss if the pop artists have a hand in writing their material. Elvis never had much of a hand in writing his stuff and although I’m no fan, I do understand his significance in the scheme of things. And The Monkees were a brilliant pop act until they insisted on writing their own stuff (still good but it wasn’t pop).
The trouble is these weren’t just the British Manufactured Pop Awards, it was an award show for the best of British Music. The whole gamut. With the exception of Radiohead this really is the best we could come up with in terms of what is selling in Britain right now. I’m sure we could both come up long lists of bands and artists we prefer (most of mine would be from the other side of the Atlantic though) but I actually can’t argue with the Brit nominees and that really is quite shocking.
Incidentally, I’m quite fond of the odd generalisation to make a point myself but your accusation that punk killed off well crafted pop music can’t go unchallenged. As a sweeping statement it was galaxy proportioned! Apart from citing all of The Clash’s output after the first album as well crafted pop/rock music, what about what came after: Madness, The Specials, Blondie, OMD, Culture Club, Talk Talk, The Smiths even early Simple Minds? What about the genius that is Kate Bush ?(still as odd as ever and a hundred times more interesting than any of our current crop of singer/songwriters and she was a ‘pop’ act). As much as it did nothing for me what about Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, Pet Shop Boys and The Eurythmics? The list is endless but I’ll bring you right up to date, what about the beauty and the intelligence of Belle & Sebastian?
We're in danger of putting pop and rock in two antagonistic categories here. And no good can come of that.
Well I was just following Dave's lead. To me there is only two types of music: good and bad.
Andrew, I can't believe no one's taken you to task over your "so bad I assumed they were American" line.
Radiohead and Elbow aside, I can't think of any English bands worth getting worked up about - America, on the other hand, seems to have provided me with a dazzling array of audio treats over the last few years (and is showing no sign of stopping any time soon).
Oh, we were supposed to be talking about the Brits weren't we? Erm...can't comment, didn't see it. Don't seem to have missed anything though.
Post a Comment
<< Home