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Friday, April 18, 2008

Take that!

In the ninth Collings & Herrin podcast (which is on its way to being uploaded in the usual spot - cheers, Mark!), Richard and I hit out at our critics. In other words, we give the oxygen of publicity to the two people who posted negative one-star ratings on iTunes about our podcast, possibly directed there from this embarrassingly nice piece about me on Channel 4's 4 Talent website, and clearly very disappointed by what they found, and to whoever posted on the Comedy Forum about the podcast and said that I interrupted Richard too much, which I hold my hands up to, and to whoever it was who accused me of being a "left wing goody two shoes", which really hurts. We also discuss a particularly graphic piece of spam email in detail and try to solve Gordon Brown's body language problems. Not having recorded one for two weeks, it was great to get back in the saddle. Next week, I promise we will try and solve our GarageBand problems, thanks to the timely intervention of somebody called Mr Angry, whose input we may find it impossible to ignore in our usual cavalier fashion.

Don't forget to go to this gig that Richard is organising and hosting. There, I'm plugging my own colleague's venture.

Ha ha, on a less loyal note, you can also download this podcast with me on it. Even though it says it's Mark Kermode reviewing the new releases with Simon Mayo, it's actually me reviewing them, today, with the genial Colin Murray. Don't subscribe to it, though, or it will beat the Collings & Herrin podcast, which needs far more help than a BBC-branded one. Just listen to it on the iPlayer via the Five Live site.

PS: Here's an alternative photo for anyone offended by the big-Andrew-small-Richard one used above:

C&H9a

27 Comments:

At Fri Apr 18, 10:50:00 PM , Blogger Gari said...

Not sure if it's a subtle attempt by yourselves to push the podcast up the charts, but, for some reason my i-Tunes downloads your show twice. Every week, except week 8. And unfortunately, I have already subscribed to Kermode and Mayo, many, many years ago. But I'll continue spreading the word about you and Herrin.
By the way, any idea when Radio 4 will get round to launching a "Banter" podcast?

 
At Sat Apr 19, 01:57:00 AM , Blogger Dan said...

On another boring point of order (I'm sorry, it's all I seem to do in comments - I really enjoy the podcast) - Clinton was impeached. "Impeachment" refers to the process itself.

I'm almost annoyed at myself for pointing this out.

 
At Sat Apr 19, 02:44:00 AM , Blogger Diamond Badger said...

Another excellent podcast, Andrew. Ignore the haters, the sound quality is fine (even with ice-lolly related interference). Although after the buildup, I expect next week's audio to be on a par with one of those THX cinema adverts...

I think you should start a feud with Adam & Joe, as you all seem quite pleasant on the surface, but filled with surpressed rage. If there was some crossover between my favourite podcasts, it would be two worlds colliding, like Alien Vs Predator (except good, and with more wheat-related weaponry).

 
At Sat Apr 19, 01:40:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Andrew, you ARE left-wing. You ARE quite 'goody two shoes'. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do the right thing and be a good person, which is effectively what that epithet picks at. What would you rather, be called a 'Thatcherite fascist feck-you two shoes'? It ain't gonna happen. Be proud of who you are, petal. Nothing wrong with who you are.

Anna

 
At Sat Apr 19, 11:24:00 PM , Blogger office pest said...

Oh NO. The obligatory quirky way out comedy duo photo. I must be being very visually sensitive today because the style and composition - not the subjects I should say - are registering "how nauseating" in my numbskull control room. What's next chaps, playing THE DOME and saying, 'see that rice paper? that's your wheatgerm, that is.'?
An unwelcome remnder of the smug, smart alec 80s and 90s. I do hope you've composed this picture for post-ironic, Guardian-or-other media/entertainment publicity newspaper supplement 'effect'?

 
At Sun Apr 20, 02:03:00 PM , Blogger Richard Herring said...

Way out?
I wish that much thought went into it.
We had to stand up because of light issues and then Andrew went forward to set the camera off and we thought it might make a change if he stayed down there.
I don't really see anything quirky about it. But if everything goes to plan we might not be doing ALL our own photos in the future!

 
At Sun Apr 20, 03:47:00 PM , Blogger Andrew Collins said...

Office Pest, were you drunk and/or tired when you posted that? How odd to be so wound up by a photo that we took, as always, using the Photo Booth software found on a MacBook, which employs a tiny in-built camera, a bit like the in-built mic we record the podcasts on. We took is this way as a bit of a change from the other eight photos we've taken. As my colleague has already hinted, we may yet have some professional photos taken. Let's hope they don't remind Office Pest of either of two particular decades in the late 20th century. That would be awful!

 
At Sun Apr 20, 04:39:00 PM , Anonymous nikki said...

Subtle gari ! AC is plugging , mentioning the itunes chart every week. Amazon too , whats that all about.

It's desperation for a whiff of success that he's so hungry for. I don't help this pair at all as i take it from the comedyorg site, i doubt that registers in any chart.




Hmmm these podcasts are becoming patchy; some bits of the first five were lol funny but i'm less moved by the p'casts in recent weeks.

Comment moderation on here now, blimey the bbc has a less stalinesque attitude.

 
At Sun Apr 20, 04:49:00 PM , Blogger Andrew Collins said...

Nikki, I've had Comment Moderation on the blog for months now. It was due to a couple of spates of abuse, which I really don't have time for. It also allows me to refuse anonymous posts. Look how I have moderated and published your comment within moments of you posting it! Hardly Stalinist! (And, actually, if I was Stalinist, I'd have every right to be. I'm not a publicly-funded body, I am just me, with my blog and my podcasts. As for iTunes, I am still rather amazed that we have managed to get so high in their charts, since we are up against largely BBC-branded podcasts that are spun off (ie. compiled from) national radio shows by household names. Sorry if you think our interest in the success of our podcasts against these odds a little vulgar, Nikki, but we are like two schoolchildren whose essays got read out in class. Feel free to comment again. I can handle passive-aggression. Don't tell me you've never done something you were proud of!

 
At Sun Apr 20, 05:47:00 PM , Blogger Jason said...

Andrew, if you ARE going to have professional photos done that are a bit too reminiscent of a decade, can I please register my vote for either the 1910s or the 1950s?

 
At Sun Apr 20, 05:56:00 PM , Blogger Gari said...

I like the Big Andrew/Little Richard picture, it's quite Pet Shop Boy-ish. Although there is something sweet about the other picture. Looking somewhat like my 8 year old nephew and his mate when they've just done or said something they shouldn't have.

 
At Sun Apr 20, 06:07:00 PM , Anonymous Nikki said...

Passive aggression,no it 's all active by the way it scanned back. That second paragraph i just reread sounded unintentionally nasty. I steer clear of itunes and most legal downloads ,even the bbc, apart from that comedy site link.

Pity to hear that this site was the target for abuse which i wasn't aware of; no one likes to be on the receiving end but it can make for some engrossing reading to the bystander.

I'm shocked you're shocked by the i tunes chart etc. BBC veterans like you and RH seem a natural draw for such a product even up against bbc shows and the nuts competition which you didn't mention this week.

Re the picture , a looking down view a la Fist of Fun or sepia tinted with cowboy outfits would work too. RH could try a waxed moustache while you could have the natural mexicano look with a sombrero.

Re the sound, good idea to get it improved up to a decent standard; RH mentioned in #9 something about sicilian toilet cubicles which is where the p'cast sounds like it's being recorded in!

ps i waited to post this after Songs of Praise just in case you're a regular viewer.

 
At Mon Apr 21, 12:01:00 AM , Blogger cerebusboy said...

Hey Andrew, I enjoyed the piece you had in the Times the other day about crime writers. Here's the link to save people searching:

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article3767461.ece

Personally I was disappointed that Thomas Harris didn't feature in the top fifty, but I suppose only two of his books count as actual crime novels.

Someone's probably mentioned this, but all the people I know who've seen the second season of Heroes say it's not great (apparently one of the series writers publicly admitted the downturn).

 
At Mon Apr 21, 08:31:00 AM , Blogger bethnoir said...

Just caught up with the latest podcast, found it very amusing. A particularly fine Banter as well this week. Thank you for making me laugh so much my husband asked me to turn the podcast up so he could hear it better on the other side of the room.

 
At Mon Apr 21, 10:27:00 AM , Blogger World of Miggins said...

I like the picture. Richard seems vaguely puzzled by something we can't see.

 
At Mon Apr 21, 10:36:00 AM , Anonymous Sharon said...

I'm surprised by the patchy comments this week. I haven't actually been able to listen to the podcast yet due to internet access problems (and currently at work where unable to download), but I can't WAIT to listen to it !!!

I also think both photos are great, and very funny.

 
At Mon Apr 21, 03:20:00 PM , Anonymous Mike said...

Whats the deal with you two constantly referring to each other as colleagues? Is this a running joke now?

I never recall you referring to Stuart Maconie as either a friend or a colleague, and yet every time you mention Richard Herring's name it is "my colleague".

Is this an attempt to distance yourself from his style of humor? Why do you feel a need to mention the nature of your relationship all the time?

 
At Mon Apr 21, 03:51:00 PM , Blogger Stephen said...

Another good podcast. Cheers guys. Had me chuckling on my way to work.

It gets pretty meta listening to what is often a podcast about a podcast. (Not a criticism - just odd). It's quite fun to hear your glee at doing something you enjoy.

People get quite critical of everything on the net don't they. If it were my blog I'd probably just edit out critical comments to convince myself everyone loves me. You're a stronger man to let (what we see of) it slide AC.

Quite baffled by the comment about the photo. I'd not realised N&B had invented perspective. Maybe commenters here should decide how you two pose each week?

And until I read it here I didn't realise there was an Adam and Joe podcast of their BBC 6 show. Great stuff!

Looking forward to the stellar sound quality next episode!

 
At Mon Apr 21, 04:39:00 PM , Anonymous Swineshead said...

Blast - when the above said 'Crime Writers' I thought they meant real crime - and was hoping Brian Masters would get a mention. But, alas, they meant boring old fictional crime.

As for all this criticism, what a load of old shit. It's free! What's wrong with people? I think it improves as it goes on, your podcast.

And I'm not even bitter that my offer to help out remotely (using the wonder of Logic Express) on the audio front was ignored and went without reply... *weep*

PS - I think I called you 'hopelessly liberal' or something similar in my five star review on iTunes, AC. Cheeky, flippant digs can pass the filter - it's all about context...

 
At Mon Apr 21, 04:58:00 PM , Blogger BPP said...

I could swear you're both getting fatter, Collins. That'll be the consequence of success, no doubt. I've heard fame's all about big dinners ... though I may have my wires crossed.

No offence, like.

 
At Mon Apr 21, 10:35:00 PM , Blogger office pest said...

Oh dear. Sorry about the comment. I merely meant that it reminded me of similar "wacky" 'we're so zany we are' photos favoured by dismal but smug duos from the 80s and 90s, like for instance Punt and Dennis or the all time bottom of the class, Mel 'n Sue.
I just thought to my horror that you'd fallen into the same hackneyed old comedy promo photo setup and to be honest, I think you're both better than that. My comment was just a reaction against the mediocrity of days gone by.
However I did not mean to sting you into such a startled reaction AC so I apologise for that.

For the record when I wrote the entry I was neither particularly tired, nor roaring round the countryside on absinthe and coke. I find my subconscious works erratically enough without additional stimulation so I try to avoid it.

Anyway my apologies for any offence and I appreciate you both bothering to respond to the poorly described point.

 
At Tue Apr 22, 12:08:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Andrew

That dirty Richard Herring has been unfaithful. I heard him on XFM on Saturday, reading the newspapers with Danny Wallace and Richard Glover. It was a newspaper reading threesome! Are you going to dump him?

Deb Holt

 
At Tue Apr 22, 03:37:00 PM , Anonymous Natassia said...

The podcasts would be nothing without you, and despite not being a comedian, I think you are often very funny (and much nicer than Richard Herrin).
The other day I saw two sleeping ducks in the park and thought of you.

 
At Tue Apr 22, 06:30:00 PM , Blogger Andrew Collins said...

This post has been removed by the author.

 
At Tue Apr 22, 06:32:00 PM , Blogger Andrew Collins said...

In answer to your question, Mike, I made a joke in an early podcast that Richard and I are just colleagues and not friends. It stuck. In real life I sometimes refer to Richard as my friend, but he must never know.

You can choose your friends, it's the rules.

 
At Wed Apr 23, 12:44:00 PM , Blogger Doug said...

Afternoon chaps. Thoroughly enjoying the podcasts, which keep me suitably occupied on my trip to work.
Thinking back to a topic from either week one or week two, I was delighted to see that Gaunty is having a starring role in this weekend's Dr Who! You just have to look on the front page of nearly every telly magazine at the moment to see what I mean. Made me laugh.
Keep up the good work.
Doug

 
At Thu Apr 24, 01:45:00 AM , Blogger BPP said...

Hey! There was no need to remove your reply to my comment, Collins. I was the one being the arsehole, not you. Taking it down makes it looks like a wazzock such as I has got the upper hand. For shame, sir! Your reply should have remained.

P.S. I appear to be an enemy of yours by accident. This was never my intention. I'll link to you from my various sites to attone for my sins.

P.P.S Well, I will tomorrow after I've finished writing about that awful sweatshop show for Watch With Mothers.

P.P.P.S Again, my apologies.

 

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