The Great Herring Mystery
If you've listened to Podcast Number 19, you'll know that a Diagnosis Murder-style mystery arose "live" on-air. If not, here's the plot: this Thursday, the new, smaller, more affordable "white" paperback edition of That's Me In The Corner is published. It is exactly the same, except I have added a new bonus chapter about sitcom writing to bring my story up to date, and I have added to the acknowledgments section at the front, where the book is dedicated "to my mentors." In the text, I list all of my mentors in chronological order, including Richard Herring. Because a certain amount of time has passed between the two versions, I have added a few names to the end of the list. Now the mystery:This is how the acknowledgments page appears in the original, larger, less affordable "neon" edition:
And this is how the acknowledgments page appears in the new, smaller, more affordable "white" paperback edition:
Now, I have checked the document I sent to my publishers, and Richard Herring's name is indeed missed off the list. In adding to the list, I seem to have cut and pasted, and in the process Richard Herring's name got lost. I didn't spot this at the time, nor on the number of occasions I checked the copy before delivering it. What seems to have happened is that I missed his name off, and didn't spot it because of the name Richard Grocock (producer of Banter). This is not a satisfactory excuse, but it's the only one I've got. On paper, it means that Richard Herring used to be a mentor, but in the intervening 15 months has stopped being one. I am embarrassed by this implication, and have instructed my publishers to have all affordable paperback editions recalled from the shops and to pulp them. (This, they tell me, has not taken long.) So, if you have trouble finding my book in the shops, you'll know why. Equally, if you see one that slipped out early before the Great Pulping, snap it up, as it's now extremely valuable - a limited edition.** This is all lies.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 2:40 PM
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A limited edition? Jesus - does this mean I'm going to have to buy the bloody thing again?!
Will the old, less affordable, version still be available or is that in the pulp shop now? What's the idea behind the republishing?
aha, mystery solved.
Well done, too, for not attempting to shift the blame on to your copy editor, or some other person involved in the publishing process (these days, authors tend to do this quicker than one can say 'Raj Persaud')
"I am embarrassed by this implication, and have instructed my publishers to have all affordable paperback editions recalled from the shops and to pulp them."
This implies all of the new ones have been pulped.
Except we also learn that:
"Equally, if you see one, snap it up, as it's now extremely valuable "
So, they've all been pulped... except the ones that haven't, and also you better buy the ones that haven't been pulped.
* * *
What I'd really like to know is .. are Richard and Andrew friends? Or are they just colleagues? Or mentor and mentee?
Will loyal readers who bought the first edition get a chance to read the bonus chapter online anywhere, or will we have to go and read it in Waterstones? :-)
Neil, loyal readers will have to go and read it in Waterstone's, I'm afraid. It's certainly not worth buying the book twice for! Much of it appeared in the Radio Times, or on this blog, for the record. So loyal readers will already know it. It's for that tricky bunch my disloyal< readers!
I blame Patrick Marber.
I hope the PS I've added to the above entry clears up any confusion about the pulping.
There's no such thing as a 'mistake' when it comes to this sort of stuff - it's just your subconscious at work. You see, as you and Richard Herring have worked ever more closely, a classic sibling rivalry has developed, and you now hate and fear him as much as you love and admire him. On the day you finally proof read that dedication for the last time, he'd probably annoyed you a bit, and bingo - that was enough, he was out.
A few months of group analysis should help sort the pair of you out, though. I hear Raj Persaud's not busy for the next few months,maybe he can help (and he might be offering cut-price rates)?
Who will now attempt to correlate all people acknowledged with passages in the new book?
Is that the same John Leonard who helps Mark Radcliffe on Radio 2?
No offence to the other person who is, presumably, as entitled to call himself Dave as I am, but can I just make it clear that I don't give a monkey's little velvet tunic whether Andrew and Richard describe themselves as friends, colleagues, or mentals? (I'm not posting at the moment for a variety of reasons but I felt the need to point that out.)
Hey Andrew - read a good review in the News of the World yesterday (not my usual Sunday reading of course - I blame my parents!) JaneyP
But if you go to Raj Persaud, you might find that your acknowledgements end up in his book, which would make things more complicated.
Coudn't you just nip down the warehouse and write his name in in ballpoint pen?
Or a sticker on the front that says "As mentored by RIchard Herring?
Bit off topic, but re: Q Magazine. Every issue since 1997 seems to have been purely made up of Top 100 lists of EVERYTHING, whilst still managing to squeeze in a place for U2. If you retitled your podcast Top 100 Ginger Beers, they would have awarded it 5 stars.
Another point: the word verification below is asking me to type in 'paedeqa'
Thanks for clearing that up, Dave.
I have a feeling TMITC won't be stocked at bookstores in Washington, DC, so I don't know when I'll be able to read the new chapter (I have the pro-Herring first edition). So out of curiosity, I looked up the new edition on Amazon, and saw that your alternate identity is revealed (despite my attempts to cover it up):
About the Author
Andrew Collins was born in 1969 outside Philadelphia, grew up in Connecticut, and graduated from Wesleyan University in Middletown, CT, in 1991. That same year he joined Fodor's staff and over the next two years edited or co-edited more than a dozen travel guides. In 1994 he conceived of and developed Fodor's Gay Guide to the USA, the first edition which published in 1996. He's worked as an editor or writer on more than 100 travel books and Collins writes a syndicated weekly travel column called "Out of Town," which appears on several Web sites, as well as in gay and lesbian newspapers nationwide. Presently he divides his time between New Mexico, Connecticut, and New Hampshire, and logs more than 40,000 miles annually driving across North America.
I wonder if this bizarro Andrew Collins could be Richard Herring's mentor.
perhaps they thought you spelt mr herrin's name wrong, thought it was a typo and so left it off.
Hi Dave. I'm the first Dave who posted here. For the record my name is Dave Harlston, and I'll put my full name on future posts. I don't have a google blogger account.
I'm sure noone else cares to be honest, but I thought I'd make it clear.
Isn't having them all pulped a little extreme?
Does't that cost a lot fo money?
Surely Richard Herring would understand. He's sounds like the understanding type...
Five-centres, are you joking or did you really not get my joke?
In the meantime, nice to have the Daves Problem cleared up. As you can see from Gaby's post, I myself have a doppelganger who sounds way more interesting and focussed than me. I wonder if his biog will help me sell more copies of my books in North America?
By the way Leif, yes, that is the John Leonard who works with Mark Radcliffe. He was a very inspiring figure in my early days of radio, not least during the period when, as Q editor, I used to regularly travel up to Manchester to appear on Mark and Lard's show to read extracts from my childhood diaries on their evening show on Radio 1. From this acorn did my first book grow. (John also bent over backwards to get me in as a one-week replacement for Mark on his Radio 2 evening show, even moving operations to London because I was too busy to get to Manchester for four consecutive nights. I really appreciated this. He is one of the good guys. In fact, that Mentors list is basically a list of the good guys/gals.)
I used to love Mark and Lard's show. Did you really have to travel all the way to Manchester to be on their show? Couldn't you do it via a studio in London? (without seeing their faces obviously). I know thats how a lot of radio shows work - the Today programme in particular.
Depending on the sales this time around a lot of them may eventually get pulped anyway, I suppose.
Pest: I think the way it works is, they don't print up too many if there aren't the orders from the shops. The big pulpings really only occur when books that are meant to be huge hardback bestsellers, like big political memoirs etc. turn out to be damp squibs. We're operating on a much more modest scale: print a few up, if they sell, print a few more up. When I worked at Q we gave away a free book - the first time we'd moved into these uncharted waters - and it was a rock sampler from Omnibus. They asked us how many we'd need printing up, and we estimated around 200,000. They said they had never printed 200,000 copies of a book before in their lives!
Dave Harlston: when I have appeared as a guest on Mark's Radio 2 show, I've always done it from a tiny airless "self-op" studio in London, but it's never been as good as the old days when I travelled up to Manchester. (I was the editor of Q in those days, thus I had a full-time job, and could afford to leave work early one day and arrive a little bit late the next day and put it down to "promotion" for the magazine. Now that I'm self-employed, I simply can't justify going that far for a very modest appearance fee. It's a shame, really.
Ignore me - on another read through I see the joke!
Maybe they will, though my experience of printing is that there is a minimum quantity to print to reach the cost per copy point and then the run on cost is quite small only being time materials and storage. We used to print and store unbound body pages to make the pulping process easier should they not be needed. Bound them up on demand in sets of 1000.
Anyway I haven't got a copy of this one so I'll buy one to save it from the stewing vat.
Prefer the new cover; I hope it does well for you.
Very entertaining podcast as ever.
Although it's no wonder Richard isn't on tv or radio anymore with his endearingly career-suicidal urges to mention anal rape etc like a naughty schoolboy.
That's what happens when you grow up being the headmaster's son - the rest of your life becomes one big irresistible opportunity to rebel. Gawd bless 'im.
Excellent I'll buy this. Thoroughly enjoyed the first 2. Although I read the 2nd one 1st and didn't complete the 1st. I left it on a Ryan Air plane this morning, you see. I realised virtually as soon as I 'deplaned' but they refused to let me back on due to 'security risks'. They told me it would be found at lost property but I doubt that it will due to 'common theft'.
I did check out lost property for my return trip and found that there is a £5 admin fee (per item) for returns. That's right they charge you for your property. Absolute chancers!
My wife told me to let it go and we went and had a skinny latte which they refused to let us on the bus with. I asked why and was helpfully informed that the reason we couldn't take coffee on the bus was due to 'company policy'. That makes sense!
I'm calm now although quite why Steve Lamacq has just played Big Country is fairly unfathomable.
I laughed my socks off. Good snub.
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I was a loyal buyer of the first version, so I shall lurk around in Smiths to read the extra bits. Then if I find it is an unpulped version I won't know what to do!!!
AnonoNick
Andrew, thanks for the podcasts!
I'm living proof freeconomics (or is it freak-economics?) works... you see, if you hadn't given away your podcasts for free I don't think I'd have found out about your book... but I have now, and it sounds good, so I've placed an order with Amazon.
Just finished reading the version with the neon lights cover. Very good. Would have liked more on your late-night movie show. The bit where you just grinned at the camera in grainy B&W for ages, pre-dentistry, haunts me still.
In my head you were editor of Empire for about a year, so three editions is actually significantly less than I'd thought.
Funnily enough I actually remembered some of the Collins & Maconie Hit Parade routines from their first broadcast. The 'Ace of Base' one particularly stuck in my head.
The whole thing makes me ashamed at the thought of the different jobs you'd had by the time you were my age (32).
Congrats on the podcast. Don't know if its been said before, But I saw Jon Gaunt, on BBC's This week. Saying that when he was a younger man, he was full on left wing. So much so that he performed some street art in protest on the Reagen/Thatcher policy on Nuclear weapons (he supported the CND view). He might well have out flanked Mr collins on the left end of the spectrum.
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