Oh, Vienna
I notice from this morning's Media Guardian that, after a pathetic start, viewing figures for Euro 2008 picked up. (They started with something like 3 million for the opening match this year, compared to, hmmmmmm, 17.6 million for England's opening match of Euro 2004 - an Arthur C Clarke-style mystery if ever there was one.) I'm still amazed, as an every-two-years, non-club football fan how many committed followers of the game have petulantly not bothered with Euro 2008 at all. (One bloke I asked said, simply, "I"m in mourning.") This is why I am an alien landing on someone else's planet. I've been free to enjoy the sporting prowess and the thrills/spills without any mental block. I watch the sport for a month every two years, and I'm used to England being in with a quarter of a chance. The fact that they didn't make it this time was never going to be a barrier: I like the spectacle and the self-contained drama. And Euro 2008 did not disappoint.
I'm not going to review the final other than to say, the 1-0 scoreline does not go any way towards describing the action. It was a fitting finale to three weeks of football that has fixed me to the sofa throughout.
Some closing statements:
1) I think the laminates that the managers wear around their necks should be bigger.
2) I proved myself to be an impostor football fan during the opening minutes of the final when I observed that Torres must have had his hair cut since the semi-finals, and he didn't need his Alice band to hold it back out of his face.
3) I gather it's unfashionable to like John Motson. However, I rather enjoy his style, as I daringly revealed during the last World Cup. It's eccentric, often howlingly pre-scripted ("the senors have become seniors"?), and he overuses the phrases "by the way" and "I fancy", but I'll be sad not to hear him in two years' time.
4) Praise the Lord for Danny Baker, and all who sail in him. (See: entry below.)
5) I'm already missing that weird Eurodisco tune they played after each goal. What was it?
6) One commentator - that's media commentator, rather than football commentator - mused that it may have been the presence of big English league names such as Torres and Ballack in the foreign teams that eventually drew English audiences around the TV. What an upside down world. (We're only interested in foreign players if they play for us.)
7) I wonder if the fact that all the players had the word RESPECT on their shirtsleeves actually made them more respectful. (Apart from Silva's headbutt, obviously.)
8) How to spot a foreign player who plays for an English side: he uses the phrase "creating chances".
9) How to spot Alan Shearer: he uses the phrase "creating chances."
10) Metzelder, the German defender who almost started the final with an own goal, seems to model himself on DH Lawrence, which is sweet.
11) Forcing the losing team in the final to collect their losers' medals (Motson: "I think those'll be going in a drawer somewhere") by first walking through a tunnel made of Spain seems, to me, to be "adding I to I". (Haven't listened to last night's 606 yet, so apologies if this point has already been made.)
12) That closing montage by the BBC - which I think was supposed to have been the interior monologue of a bee? - pretentious toss. Did they think they'd get away with it because nobody was watching?
See you in two years. Come on, England etc.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 10:44 AM
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22 Comments:
Motson was truly on form last night..."it's Marvelous in Madrid, Beautiful in Barcelona, Victorious in Valencia..."
I was waiting for him to add 'So-So in San Sebastian' but assume he wisely chose to steer clear of Basque politics.
The footie wasn't half bad either. Lots of lovely deft one-touch passing from Spain. I shall miss this tournament - it was much more fun without England.
The disco tune was Samba de Janeiro by Bellini, an Ibiza anthem of 1997 which was a Top 10 hit.
Every time a commentator mentioned 'Klose' (which, given that Germany got all the way to the final, was a lot) I found myself singing 'let me whisper in your ear'.
It was good game arguebly the best international final in a long while. I still can't totally get behind not aligned sport, i think placing bets may have helped. I enjoy good skill etc but it's much better when your heart is in your mouth and you can't look but can't look away.
as to wider sport we can't tempt you with the British Open or the archery att he Olympics or the horse jumping, 800 m hurdles, or rowing come on everyone likes rowing or or or
5. I'm already missing that weird Eurodisco tune they played after each goal. What was it?
It was Bellini "Samba de Janeiro"
bltp: I'm not likely to be tempted by other sports. I enjoyed my one experience of live Wimbledon tennis two years ago, but I don't feel any need to get involved via the TV. Football is the only sport ever to have got its hooks into me.
Sorry this is off-topic but just thought you might like to know that 'That's Me In The Corner' got a good review in the News of the World yesterday! Well done you!
And back on-topic, I said that Spain would win. If only I'd put some money on.
Zoe
Just popping by to say 'thanks' for the podcasts as I have missed hearing you and the Herring reviewing the papers of a Sunday since your BBC6 show ended. Hope you continue to do them for a very long time.
Re closing statements point 3, I must be the most fashionable man on earth.
Apart from being a statistically obsessed, boring anorak with no sense of humour, who pretends he has anticipated tactical substitutions in advance, when actually all he has done is see a player on the bench take his tracksuit bottoms off, I have it on good authority (When Saturday Comes) that he’s a real “don’t you know who I am?” type when dealing with the public.
Hallelujah he’s finally buggered off. I can avoid him on Radio 5.
Thanks for the News Of The World tip-off, Zoe. I missed it, of course. I expect my publishers will send it to me with all the other cuttings.
Re. point number two, you proved it, really, by misspelling his name, you silly sausage.
I don't care much for John Motson, but I do care quite a great deal for Mark Lawrenson, who makes much more effort to be entertaining but is routinely rubbished by snobby football watchers. When that player took a boot directly to the goolies last night, who else on BBC1 but Lawrenson would say (and forgive my paraphrasing), "It's not so much treatment he needs after that as it is counting"?
Tom
I'm neutral on the Motson issue, though I do remember that, when he was interviewed for my student newspaper in about 1988, he was a complete flower, apparently genuinely flattered that Lancaster University students were interested in talking to him. Either there's more than one good authority or he's changed in the last 20 years. Or both.
Peter
I wrote to John Motson when I was 17 (I'm now 35), asking for his views on the difference between radio and TV commentary, as I was doing a study on such for my A level English Language. He wrote back within seven days with a full reply and good luck wish. I've still got it somewhere.
I've always been led to believe he's one of the good chaps.
Thanks for pointing out my misspelling, Tom. Your reward is for me to go back in and correct it, and now you look mad. But you're not. I had indeed spelt is "Torries", which is another thing altogether!
AC: Surely the tennis last night must have grabbed your attention it was great, being local boy and that?
Didn't watch any tennis yesterday. I have absorbed the fact that Andy Murray won, but he seems a petulant individual and not an easy player to love. Am I wrong? (By the way, they moan about Henman, but the match I saw live at Wimbledon in 2006 was a Henman one on Centre Court, and it was hugely exciting. Mind you, that might have been the novelty aspect for me?)
I'm sure I must seem like the most tedious kind of nitpicker, Andrew, and I am sorry about that. If your stuff wasn't worth reading, though, I wouldn't care, and I wouldn't pick-pick-pick.
That John Motson, though, eh? What a gentleman.
Tom
The sort of fashion I like is the sort that stays around for a long time. I've disliked Motson since the mid-70's - one of my college flatmates used to call him Grotty Motty which I've felt the need to use ever since. It may appear to be fashionable not to like him these days because unbelievably, despite always being annoying, he has got even worse over the last 10 years sometimes I wonder if he's even watching the same match! I say good riddance. I don't wish him any harm, he seems like a nice man, I'm just glad he's not going to spoil my enjoyment of football on television any more - that's going to be ITV's job for the next season !
Couple of minutes to go and we get an unhurried shot of Torres standing with a water bottle. Motson: "You got a shot there of Torres who's standing with a water bottle waiting to celebrate with the other substitutes." Thank you for clearing that up, Motty. It did occur to me that he's probably quite good for innocent viewers because he's so surprised by everything. One thing that did aggravate me was the crowd noise sample that was used behind all the BBC's analysis replays, and, bizarrely, behind the amusing Desailly/Stubbs pitch-side musings. Your point 6 - it's oddly depressing when club football is mentioned during such a tournament; in fact club football shouldn't be mentioned until September at least. I don't think there's anything imposterish about noticing Torres's hair. In fact I think 'fans' who don't notice such things are basically only interested in fighting. Lawrenson seems out of date. He keeps going on about strength and was very wrong about Lahm being outmuscled by Torres - there was minimal contact and if there had been it's unlikely it would've benefitted the defender in that situation. When players go down at the slightest touch what exactly is extra upper body strength for? Spain's one-touch play along the ground reminded me of the kind of football no doubt millions of us played at middle school with a tennis ball on a playground. It felt like a victory for middle school against big school. Back to the small future, or something. Blah blah.
I'm a football man by trade but I must say the tennis was tremendous last night. I'd forgotten how good it could be. Footy can be terribly dull, no? Can be and usually is. Most worrying in the tennis I was supporting the Bwit for the 1st time in my life. I normally knee-jerk right against that whole collective mania. But I was swept along last night. I must be punished. Any ideas?
Two points, Andrew, from your (now back home) Vienna correspondent.
To all those down on Motty, don't be. He's a very nice man, unfeasibly passionate about the game and you'll certainly know when he's gone. Two words - Clive Tyldsley...
The closing sequence was rather well received 'in-house' - I shall pass on your thoughts to the colleague responsible.
Oooh, a third point, to simon - you must have tinnitus - the Stubbs/Desailly double act was free from all audio additives.
Thanks for the insider's view from BBC Sport, Chris. (I like a bit of pretence, by the way, but I truly did not understand the bee montage. And I've got a degree. Was it something to do with Freud?)
I was starting to imagine some minor conspiracies regarding Marcel and Ray so thanks for the response Chris. I would swear I heard, just the once, the same two shrieks that were on all the half-time/after-match replays, while Desailly and Stubbsy were talking, but perhaps it was a coincidence and they were just fans wanting a song from them.
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