Richard Herring is unwell
Against all odds, we recorded Collings & Herrin Podcast Number 29 this morning, despite Richard having poisoned himself by reheating a chilli twice during the week, almost as if he was looking for a way out of doing the podcast. But I am a hard taskmaster and forced him to pull himself together and make himself temporarily better by dosing himself with what we in showbusiness call adrenalin. It worked, although I had to keep this handy modern pomander near my nose at all times (it's a Nivea For Men roll-on deodorant, packed with chemicals) to stop myself breathing in Richard's noxious, poisoned breath. And if that image isn't enough to get your downloading our latest podcast, there's also the tantalising prospect of some new jingles made and sent in by the nerd army, and a clip from Waking The Dead which I recorded off the telly. (Now you're curious.)I hope you appreciate what we do for you.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 5:46 PM
42 Comments
Contact
Andrew at
42 Comments:
That has to be one of the singularly weirdest photographs I have ever seen...
You should have been there. Or maybe not.
andrew, you look alot like a schoolteacher in that picture.... wow!
Or a Nivea Hitler - your true Nazism coming to the fore as always.
The hidden track on Ash's 1977 was called 'Sick Party' and if you want to hear it (its pretty gross)
http://ash.groups.vox.com/library/audio/6a00cd970e4cda4cd500cd97376a034cd5.html
BTW their second album was rubbish but I'd suggest that their third 'Free All Angels' is lovely.
Saw em play the whole of 1977 plus b sides and rarities including a fine cover of 'I Only Wanna Be With You' this time last week at the Astoria.
You have a wickedly amused expression on your face, almost as if you are about to do something very nasty to a sick man with said deodorant.
Vicks is the answer to that one anyway.
Looks like Rich is gagging for next go on the roll-on.
You look like you're doing a John Sessions impression. Richard - I just don't know, maybe something Stone Age?
It is though, as ever, a fine picture of you both. Rock on.
As an oat milk fan, I'd have thought you'd be using a more natural deodorant like Neal's Yard or something. Disappointing.
Wowser, as explained in the podcast, the Nivea deodorant was bought in haste at Boots and left in my bag - a body odour emergency at some point. For the record, at home I use a stick from Desert Essence, which only contains: Purified Water, Propylene Glycol, Sodium Stearate, Organic Tea Tree Oil (Melaleuca Alternifolia), Cocamide DEA, Aloe Vera Gel, Lavender Oil, Farnesol, Chamomile, Calendula Extracts, and Sodium Borate. Which is better than most conventional deodorants from what I read in the Ecologist. I used to be a loyal fan of Tom's Of Maine products, but then they got bought out by Colgate-Palmolive in 2006, a disappointing development I wrote about in my blog here. One does one's best in these matters. As far as I know, Desert Essence are a sound company, but the moment I am dissuaded of that notion, I'll start using air. (Anyway, I was glad of the chemicals in the Nivea in the unusual circumstances.)
In his fine book The Mezzanine Nicholson Baker suggests imagining that you are pissing on the face of the man standing next to you at the urinal.
I hope this helps.
Peter
Sad to hear about Tom's Of Maine. I was quite a fan.
You mention Ecover in the blog - you should try their shower gel/shampoo if you haven't already. It's been perhaps the best shampoo I've used, ethical or otherwise.
At 9'06" into podcast 29 someone (presumably you Andrew) gets an email, because you can hear the Apple chiming sound behind Richard talking.
I demand to know who the email was from!
That was Rich. You'll have to ask him. (We use mine to record, his to check things on Wikipedia.)
Oh not to worry then, if it was Richard's then its probably just porn spam.
I bet I'm not the only one that, whilst listening to the podcast went to check who the email was from, only to be disappointed!
Why do you need a deodorant anyway? If you have a reasonable hygiene routine and drink plenty of water you shouldn't have an odour problem.
I don't.
:P
It's just a marketing ploy so you spend your money, spend it on soap instead.
You say scientists cannot get girlfriends. The index finger ratio theory shows men are supposed to be interested in maths and geography while women are interested in english and are better at social skills. Surely women should find physics experts as the sexiest off men.
Am I right or am i wrong?
If you care about animal testing (you mention it in your Tom of Maine entry) then you should be aware they do perform some. Which is why they lost their Vegan Society certification.
Anyway, Andypoos, have you come to appreciate how brilliant Timeghost is yet?
Another good cast, but have a quick question.
Does shipping Desert Essence deodorant across the Atlantic not undermine the company's environmental policy? Although their products are manufactured with wind power, is this enough to offset the carbon consumed moving it thousands of miles?
This is a genuine question - I know these things aren't straightforward and have heard arguments that say its better to fill space on a ship that would be sailing anyway etc. etc. Just interested to know how the ecological scales are balanced.
I have to say that I could almost taste Richard's burps, so I'm sure you can be excused a few snorts of Nivea (For Men)
You're right, of course, David. As a rule, I use Green People, who are UK-based, but we are all fallible, yes we are!
This post has been removed by the author.
I use Nivea Shaving Gel...
Does the one cancel out the other?
My Mitford sister claim to fame ... my mother used to rent a house from the head of retail at Chatsworth House, who worked directly for Deborah Mitford, the Duchess of Devonshire. If my mum had to phone the landlady to report a blocked toilet or whatever, she'd be told "I'm sorry - she's in conference with Her Grace. Can she call back?"
Excitingly this means my mother has an Adolf Hitler number of 3.
Do you even use the Kingfisher toothpaste? 26 years of Colgate indoctrination have made me fear using a non-chemical based toothpaste.
Green People toothpaste. Lovely. It's so many years now since I used a chemical toothpaste I don't think I could take it! (At some point, one of our science lobby will point out that Green People toothpaste is made of chemicals too, because everything is made out of chemicals, but I'm ready for them!) It's a shame you have to pay a premium for natural products but I have been indoctrinated by the evil Ecologist magazine. (Hey, guess what, chemicals are "natural" too, Andy!)
I caught your 1:20 am post before you deleted it. My question seems to have riled you which was unintentional. Maybe it's the way I ask them.
Not to worry, David. It was just the time of night. I've just this morning received an abusive comment which has wound me up much more.
Why must certain individuals use this forum to abuse me? It really makes me feel like withdrawing and becoming a recluse.
Which Smiths/Morrissey song has a Jeffrey Archer quote in the lyrics?
First Among Equals, by Jeffery Archer, contains the line, "I was only joking when I said you should be bludgeoned in your bed", which, as I'm sure you know, crops up in Bigmouth Strikes Again. The man is a genius.
"I've just this morning received an abusive comment which has wound me up much more."
Was it from a dairy cow that had been made redundant? It's oh so fashionable to be lactose intolerant, but it's some poor cow's livelihood you're taking away. Think about THAT next time you're at the oat milk counter, Collins!
It's not the forum that makes you want to be a recluse, it's the internet in general. It has people on it, you see, and people are not nice.
It's jolly good of you to allow people to talk about random tangents on your own blog, even if you didn't talk back to them like you do, and I think that makes you rather unique and deserving of much niceness.
Ugh, being nice just feels wrong wrong wrong.
Morag x
"Do you even use the Kingfisher toothpaste?"
I do. The fennel one. Although I am not Mr Collins, so maybe it does not count. But like Mr Collins I also use Green People too. The apricot one. Okay, it is supposed to be for children, but on the other hand: apricot.
What a great choice I face on a morning. I laugh at all you foolish people condemning yourselves to a life of mint. Whether on its own or with pepper or spears.
Thanks for ruining my Friday lunchtime run. I was four-miles into a seven-mile run listening to your podcast when my stomach muscles cramped in mirth when Richard expressed his desire to compare the size of his cock to that of a seven-year-old boy.
You should take your responsibilities seriously. What if someone had been listening to your podcast whilst operating heavy machinery? Their kids could be orphans now. Bastards.
I second MD's comments. Also, conveying a point via the written word is a skill. In my case e-mails etc can come across all wrong (so I've been told). Behind the anonymity and pseudonym I'm actually quite a decent chap who enjoys the chance to exchange views with people whose spheres I'd otherwise not encounter. It would be a great shame if you gave up but I can understand your exasperation.
Hello Andrew,
Having heard your rant about people leaving stuff outside charity shops, I thought you might enjoy this, from London's trendy Vice magazine:
http://vice.typepad.com/vice_magazine/2008/07/london---crackh.html
I do hope you enjoy it.
Indeedly, it is virtually impossible to convey what you actually mean without intonations in voice and expression, and so people tend to take the written word literally, which means something that would be quite jovial if spoken can be taken as incredibly offensive when written.
In addition to this, sometimes people pose a genuine question but it sounds like they are looking down their nose. For example, you might say "I can't understand people that..." when you actually mean you don't understand what they do and you would like an explanation so you can understand them better. But that comes across as "how can these people do such a thing? they should be flogged".
Don't stop. Pretty pretty please with a please on top.
For the record, Richard Herring is wrong: Lynx is MUCH worse than Nivea 'For Men' - it makes you smell like a complete cock.
By the way: Michael, your Kingfisher toothpaste use DOES count. However, I can watch I Love 1981 to check that Collins' teeth are not rotten through non-'chemical' toothpaste use, where as it's hard to judge the state of your teeth from your grey avatar.
Andrew - excellent podcast, was in the gym listening to it - and was facing an middle-aged woman doing her sit ups and ended up pretty much laughing in her face! Not good!
(although still not your best work!)
James
I'm with you on the charity shop fly tippers Andy. Never understood it. Makes me angry.
Also, I currently have a understandable bee in my perfectly-reasonable bonnet about people not cleaning up their dogs' poo from the pavement.
Victor Meldrew had it right really.
As if to prove the point about the nature of abuse on the internet, I heard back, privately, from the person who left the abusive comment and they apologised, having left it in a state of high annoyance. Ain't this always the way? (I appreciated their strength of character to apologise though.)
Post a Comment
<< Home