Bumped
So I was all prepared for a full day's writing. I got the call at around 11am: it was BBC News (formerly News 24), asking if I could come on and talk about the Golden Globes results, on air at around 2.50pm, arrival time 2.30. Even though it meant blowing a hole in my writing day, I said yes, as it's flattering to be asked onto The News, and it's pretty easy to say about three pertinent things in two minutes to a practised BBC newsreader. Unfortunately I was in my writing-day civvies and would actually have to buy a shirt on the way to Television Centre. Not a big problem. I need a new "TV shirt" anyway, and there's a great big new shopping centre right opposite the BBC now. Ugly and sad Westfield may be, but it's bloody convenient.Then, as if by divine providence, I got a call from Front Row, asking if I could go on and talk about ... the Golden Globes. It was to be a pre-recorded interview with Kirsty Lang and I could squeeze it in after BBC News and before I went off to a film screening (The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button), at 6pm. My writing day was in tatters but I had two unexpected paid broadcasting engagements on the same subject, in two different BBC buildings and on two different media. To be honest, I was quite happy that my day was going in a different direction; life would be intolerable if everything went to plan.
So, I put in a couple of hours' writing - tragically, not actually finishing either of the jobs I had planned to finish, largely due to spending most of the time busily researching my two Golden Globes jobs (the latter, for Front Row, involved comparing the results of the Globes with the Oscars, to see how accurate a predictor they really are - not especially being the answer). I left for West London at 1.30. I arrived at Westfield at 2.00. I found a nice blue shirt in Next and bought it. I arrived at TV Centre at 2.30. I watched the clips they had lined up. I changed into my shirt in the toilet (no, they don't have dressing rooms at BBC News), and sat in the Green Room, powdered and de-shined, to acclimatise and go through my notes. My 2.50 slot went sailing by, while George Bush did his live farewell news conference. They told me, via a chain of people younger than me in headsets, that I'd now be on at 3.28. This was fine. I didn't need to be at Radio 4 (in another part of London) until 4.30. Then David Milliband delivered a statement about Gaza in the Commons, which, again, BBC News took live.
At 3.45, they led me into the studio, miked me up and sat me on the guest chair to the right of the big news desk, next to Emily Maitlis and John Sopel, the man with the blackest hair in newscasting. The three of us sat and watched Milliband, bored, for ten minutes. I fiddled with my cufflinks and shuffled my scrap of paper with the Golden Globe winners' names on it. Then, just after 4pm, Maitlis passed on the now-inevitable news (my own personal bulletin): the Golden Globes item had been bumped. I had been bumped. I was David Duchovny on Larry Sanders. I was Bruno Kirby.
Yes, I will still get my modest appearance fee (and I have a nice new blue shirt), but the whole not-being-on took a total of two and a half hours out of my working day. It's most aggravating, never mind that it's all part of the cut and thrust of live, rolling news. Anyway, I arrived at Broadcasting House for Front Row, recorded my interview with Kirsty, and made my screening on time, having done a total of about one and a half hours' of planned writing all day and failed to eat my packed lunch (there just wasn't the time or opportunity). But hey, I'd had a crazy, rollercoaster "journey" and learnt some important lessons, and at least the second interview took place, and went out, on Radio 4, last night. It's on iPlayer, if you're interested, and it's the last item.
Benjamin Button was almost three hours long. Why would anyone make a film that long? When I got home, late, I watched The Golden Globes from the night before.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 5:16 PM
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13 Comments:
Sorry, in removing this post and re-posting it, I have lost the comments. I still have them in my inbox, so when I've finished writing this thing I have to write - which is, after all, my job - I'll re-post the comments.
What happened? I read the post in Google Reader, clicked through to see the comments, and it had gone!
Conspiracy?
Of course not. The mouse and trackpad on my laptop started playing me up yesterday, and by the end of the day, the mouse had actually stopped working. I've bought a new mouse this morning so I'm back in action. I took the entry down in the afternoon to rewrite part of it, and then I was unable to even use my laptop. The only "conspiracy" is that I felt uncomfortable about something I wrote and wanted to change it. I have now. It's not important in a global sense, but since it's connected to one of my employers, I felt weird about having put it in the public domain.
Fair dos. :-) I was only joking, though I did wonder if you'd had a ticking off from BBC News or something. Not that you wrote anything bad about them. Much as it's good to see you on the telly, I can see how Bush's farewell and Gaza might be considered more newsworthy than the Golden Globes. Incidentally, it seemed a bit harsh that all the news channels endlessly replayed the clip of Winslet 'forgetting' her co-nominees - she only forgot for a second, it was hardly a major snub to Angelina Jolie. I guess the news loves footage of celebs crying with emotion...
That's one white-knuckle powerhouse of a day, is that.
Were you nearly pooing yourself that you'd be late for the Front Row piece? I hate living by the confounded clock.
Hi, on a completely unrelated note, am delighted to see that the third series of Not Going Out begins on Friday 30 January. Really looking forward to seeing it.
Sidney
When I was younger, blonder and thinner I used to be an "internet expert" on Sky News. It got a bit weird at one point, I was on every week and it caused all sorts of hassle with declaring my earnings. It was an odd sojourn in to the world where pundits humm around TV studios, then go back to their inevitable journalism jobs (which I didn't do by that point - I was a bona fide actual internet person).
Anyway, it always amused me when they phoned me and I was eg: on my way to my Mum's place with my baby, or something, and I turned them down. They were dumbfounded. Turning down TV? Does not compute! Surely, you must go all fuzzy eyed at the very thought of it!
So I turned them down sometimes, but never got bumped. What a royal pain in the arse that wouild be. I'm not surprised you got grumpy about it. It's ridiculous isn't it - so much time out of your day for, you know. 2 minutes on air. Which is why I sometimes turned them down, obviously.
Of course, they never call me anymore - either I'm too old / not a man or the internet is too boring. Perhaps I turned them down once too often. Damn!
I think the pertinent question arising from that day was, 'what did you have in your packed lunch?'.
what a waste of tax payers money..
having you on the show is bad enough
and then not even showing it..
only joking Collings!
Thanks, Sidney re: Not Going Out transmission date. Nobody tells me anything. (Can you imagine co-writing a sitcom and nobody telling you when it was on?)
I thought it was Jeff Cesario who constantly got bumped on Larry Sanders? Surely if you were David Duchovny you'd be poorly masking a huge crush on the News 24 presenter, and possibly flashing them in your dressing gown.
If they had dressing rooms, which they don't.
Penny Pedantic x
Wasn't there an episode where Duchovny was threatened with the bump? It's so long ago now!
I think he refused to be bumped.
You should have done the same, and just stormed onto camera shouting something about Kate Winslet crying and the British invasion before being dragged off by security, though that might (might) have affected your chances of getting booked again.
PPx
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