Made in Wales
So, let me talk you through my Cardiff Adventure. (I am actually writing this on the train back to London on Tuesday evening - I've been in Cardiff for two days and two nights, which counts as an adventure in my book.) I was in Wales as the guest of Go Faster Stripe, otherwise known as a man called Chris Evans, who has decided that the only way to fund the folly of putting out endless DVDs of Richard Herring is to make a bestselling audiobook. Because Frederick Forsyth was already taken, he asked me, which is why I've spent most of the last two working days sitting in a recording studio in the depths of Cardiff's magnificent Millennium Centre, reading out Where Did It All Go Right? into a microphone for another man called Gerald, whilst sat at a table covered in soundproofing foam and trying not to make stomach noises or pop on words with the letter "p" in them.
This is the view from the cubicle, with me on the other side of the glass. This is what Gerald, the sound engineer has been looking at for two days. (Chris and Gerald made the excellent little film of Richard and I doing a podcast, available on the Oh Fuck I'm 40 DVD.) Although I suspect Robert Powell would have made a better job of it, it would seem weird for him - or anyone else - to read out a book about me. So I did it. I am much cheaper than him anyway. I only cost the equivalent of two nights in the Holiday Inn, an off-peak standard return, some spicy carrot soup and a Thai chicken sandwich, a chilli con carne, a couple of coffees, a smoothie and one or two refreshing cold drinks in the hotel last night while the snow fell outside.I'm glad I travelled out on the train on Sunday night, as by Monday morning, London was at a standstill due to the inclement weather and I wouldn't have been able to get to Wales. Oddly, Cardiff was spared most of the snow that turned Britain into a post-apocalyptic wasteland and filled the newspapers with cliches and nonsense - maybe it's because it's coastal? - and this morning, as I sat eating my chilli in one of the Millennium Centre's many eating outlets, I gazed out at blue skies, bright sunlight and hardly a trace of last night's snow on the ground. Look:
This is the view of Roald Dahl Plass, the open-air amphitheatre named in honour of the famous writer.I could hardly imagine that my own city was up the spout. I hope it allows me get home from Paddington station. Anyway, here are some some photos I took of myself using the MacBook's excellent PhotoBooth application. I've tried not to get in the way too much.
This is me, waking up in the Cardiff Holiday Inn on Monday morning. You can see the Castle over the road.
This is me, waiting to be picked up by Chris and Gerald in Gerald's car to take us to the Millennium Centre.
This was what Cardiff looked like on Tuesday morning. Not exactly at a standstill, although the schools were still closed.
This is the Millennium Centre, from the inside. I really liked treating the enormous place like a hotel for two days. Our studio is owned by the Welsh Language Society, I think. To get to it, you have to walk through some offices and use a secret door, as if perhaps it's MI5. There's a secret toilet, too.
This is me doing the actual hard graft. You may scoff, but I was actually exhausted after the first day. My throat hurts today. But I managed not to lose my voice, and we nailed it in two days. (I had worked quite hard on editing the text, rewriting some parts and shortening others. So it's officially abridged. I don't know when you'll be able to buy it, but I'll keep you posted.)A big thanks to Chris and Gerald for helping make the whole thing go off so smoothly and for being good company too. It seemed very fitting to be in Wales, reading out the chapter about holidays in Wales, and trying really hard to pronounce the placenames correctly. I really like Wales. And I even got the chance to have a touristy wander around the redeveloped Bay area. I saw the Norwegian Church and the Welsh Assembly building (with a single policeman on guard outside), and a lovely cormorant and some coots, and on points, I decided that the new Cardiff looks lovely. I really had trouble remembering what it was like before. I wonder if the locals like it as much as I do?
posted by Andrew Collins @ 2:08 PM
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Excellent stuff.
A pedantic observation and a question if I may ?
The foam is not for soundproofing. It's used to diffuse the sound and stop reflections - in this case your voice bouncing off the table and back into the mic. [Hold your palms open in front of your mouth and as you speak move them to and from your mouth - you'll hear the effect]
Have you (or Chris) considered making it a carbon neutral audio book and sell it online for download only ?
Hold fire. I though the Holiday Inn sign was supposed to read a "great day's start", but I had misread it. My mind is mush.
I hope that was a Guy called Gerald... Wouldn't it be nice to have musical snippets as chapter bookends, but obviously those pesky copyright issues.
In a Valkyrie style - did you keep your normal voice or did you attempt to speak in the voice of the 11 year old Andrew (higher pitched & more Northamptonian)? When appropriate - in diaries etc. I'm suspecting you didn't. Perhaps Mr Herring could help out as he is so excellent at doing a Northampshire accent...
For the diary entries I did indeed attempt to speak in the correct voice of my different ages. I'm not an actor, but frankly, the way the entries are written demands a certain kind of childish delivery. I actually heard myself "growing up" with each passing year. I hope it's OK.
Peter, the audiobook will be available as a download and a physical set of discs.
I'm glad you had a most wonderful time.
Evening Andrew
I really am looking forward to buying the audio-book.
This may sound like a silly question, but how self conscious did you feel reading some of it out? I'd imagine that writing it all down is one thing, but to actually have to read it aloud might feel a little odd.
It's probably early days, but given how relatively inexpensive it is to produce these things, especially in a download-only format, do you think Chris Evans has an appetite to do the whole trilogy?
All the best
Doug
Ah...my hometown....I like the revamped Cardiff so much that I live....in Norwich.
Actually, the Bay area is very good and you can even pretend you are in "Torchwood".
Pete
Any chance it will be available on Audible? As I have an account with them and get one free audiobook a month.
I am thrilled at such heady praise for my beloved home city, Andrew!
Not being a native, I too have viewed it through the eyes of the outsider, but now I can't imagine living anywhere else. So pleased you liked it - and saw the Norwegian Church! The Millennium Centre at night with the lights on is one of my most favourite things. But happily they turn them off when it's closed, for the environment and the like.
Also, very excited about the prospect of you 'acting' different ages. Well done on a marvellous adventure, and here's to success for you and Chris Evans. The Other One.
Hope your throat is ok and that you managed to get home.
Doug, I did a lot of readings of the first book (and the second), so I'm used to reading bits of it out, especially the diary entries. That said, it was weird reading the whole thing out! Do you know, it's six years old? That said, I'm surprised how much affection I still have for it. It's even better with the judicious cuts I made. I'm looking forward to seeing what people make of it.
Chris is experimenting. This is Go Faster Stripe's first audiobook. It's cheaper to put a man in a studio for two days and record his voice than it is to film a comedy gig and edit that together, and I discovered that one of the biggest costs of producing a DVD is paying to get it certificated - which you don't have to do with audiobooks. So there's another saving. Let's see if anybody buys the first one. If they do, and we make a little bit of money, then I for one would love to do the other two books. Especially now I know I can do one in two days. Get in!
I don't really know what Audible is, but we'll have a look, Jason.
Kirstie, the only building I didn't like in the Bay was that big block of flats (I think) with the awful bird-like structure on top. Do you know which one I mean? It's lit up at night, as if to compound its ugliness in a sea of beauty.
Kelly, my voice is intact, and I got home, although it was a struggle. I have been on seven separate trains! (Two between Cardiff and London, and five since, counting all the tube trains.)
Now that you have some audiobook experience, you and RH are the obvious choices to narrate the audiobook of Undaunted by the popular shock-jock Jon Gaunt. I expect you will hear from his publishers shortly.
Great stuff AC, looking forward to having a listen to this one.
By the way, have you ever considered setting up an internet radio station, as an alternative to free or subscribed podcasting?
Between yourself and your extended network of colleagues, there could be enough material and interest in it to make it a worthwhile proposition for subscription funding.
Glad you had a productive trip down here. Is this the building you're talking about?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_David's_Hotel_&_Spa
Saint Nick, that's the one I though he meant - it's always light up in the background of the BBC Wales news! Not half as easy on the eye as the Pierhead building. But still, the whole area's such a lovely improvement. I love the Roald Dahl Plass, it always feels very chic and European.
Well, congratulations on completing the task in just a couple of days.
Also I liked the various pictures of locations plus portions of your face.
My verification word is 'saggi'. Is your blog dissing me?
While your there, can you go to the Doctor who exhibit at the Red Dragon Centre, and tell me if it's worth the 2 hour drive, and also it you think my 4 year will enjoy it or totally freak.
It's not enough that I get a free Podcast every week, a free guide to the BAFTAs[*] I'd also like free tourisum advice.
Backtoblack
* Vote for noel clarke for rising star at the orange or Bafta sites, he's SKILL
AC said: "I discovered that one of the biggest costs of producing a DVD is paying to get it certificated"
... although if it's classed as "educational", you don't need certification from the BBFC. Surely Mr Herring's filthy outpourings class as educational? I always learn a lot...
Jon
If I knew you were there I'd have come down and stalk... err said hello. It would have been a better 'spot' than Simon Cowell (who was also in town this week, near my office).
Oh and the recording studio is run by Tŷ Cerdd.
I love how you're reading from a paperback edition - a mortal's copy if you like. I had visions of you clasping some heavily annotated, weathered leather-bound original manuscript as you read. Did you buy it at Paddington on your way there?
Did you like the animals on the castle walls? No ducks, sadly.
Even though the apostrophe thing turned out to be a false alarm, I'm glad you were on the punctuation alert all the same. On a chocolate box on sale in Debenhams the other week were the words:
“ THE WHITAKERS CHOCOLATE SHOP AND CAFE ON IT’S [sic] GRAND OPENING DAY, 1926 ”
Andrew I notice that tonight on Channel 5at 10pm is a documentary called
'Take That: Where did it all go right?'.
Hey ho! Never know, you might get some sales off the back of that!
What about doing it in different languages?
It seems a little bit selfish to assumme other nations wouldn't be inteterested in hearing your book.
Shame on you!
Stephen
Have you read Stuart Maconie's column in the new Radio Times, Andrew? Who's coping who? ;)
Thanks for the info, Dafydd! (Pity you didn't know I was there until I wasn't.)
Spaced: I've just read Stuart's column. I didn't know he'd done an audiobook. The difference being: our shared publisher, Ebury, obviously thought it worth doing an audiobook of Pies & Prejudice, whereas they weren't interested in doing an audiobook of WDIAGR?, which is why I've done it independently. I'm not even bitter about it - I actually prefer the idea of supporting a small independent company like Go Faster Stripe. You must buy mine though.
I almost certainly will buy it, I'm quite a fan of audiobooks.
Any idea of the price, length or release date of the finished product yet, or is it too early to tell?
Incidentally, I recently stumbled across some Times Online podcasts about audiobooks. I can't find them on iTunes, but they're available on the Times website HERE; I found parts four and five, Audio Downloads and Comedy, to be particularly interesting.
Chris: I bought the paperback in Borders in London on Friday - pretty surprised to find it actually. (I couldn't find a copy in my house.) They actually had all three volumes, which may well be a first. I'd been into the otherwise well-stocked Foyles on Charing Cross Road in London and they only had TMITC.
It was fun scribbling stuff out in it, and perhaps I shall auction the actual artifact off when the audiobook comes out.
(No idea how long, or how many discs, or how much, or when it will be available just yet. Knowing Go Faster Stripe, it will be reasonably priced, though, and beautifully produced.)
I'm thinking free covermount CD/cassette/flexidisc (yes!) taped to the front of your next podcast.
I stumbled across TMITC in WH Smiths, stuck right at the back and their only copy! Such luck is rarely mine, although I sense from reading your blogs that the lack of visability and marketing of your books is rather more just your luck! In fact the term stumbled across sums up how I've found all your books.
Also, imagine how surprised I was to find that you mention a friend of mine towards the end of the book - a very weird experience.
Sounds like a good couple of days work. I couldn't help but imagine a speech bubble on the first picture saying "Hello campers" and on the second "It's me. Here. In the corner".
Not sure if you didn't print my first ever comment because:
a) It was a bit boring - (O.K, I admit, it wasn't compulsive reading)
b) I am challenged in the technology department and couldn't send it properly
c) Somehow I'd managed to be more offensive than Carol Thatcher
d)I didn't put my name to it?
By the way, I wrote the comment about finding your last literary masterpiece tucked away at the back of WH Smiths.
Claire
I'm looking forward to your audiobook being released as I've been meaning to read your first book for a while but knitting really eats into my reading time. I know lots of knitters who subscribe to Audible.co.uk, seems quite good value if you're into audiobooks. I know a couple of knitters who can read and knit at the same time but sadly it seems to be beyond me.
While I'm blathering on about craft (kind of) I thought you might like to check out www.etsy.com
It's a site for crafts and they have some nice bird ornaments on there for your Christmas tree next year if you need to add to your collection.
Spooky.... I was in Borders the very day before you, and had your book in my bag (am currently reading it) - I would've lent you mine should I have seen you! (wanting it back after, obviously)
i live down the road from the millenium centre, and you're right, its a lovley place, especially at this time of year when the mornings are bright and crisp.not that i get to see it much as i spend most of my time working (im an illustrator)from home in a darkened room listening to the collins and herring podcasts on a continuous loop(not strictly true but i do enjoy them) .
glad ou enjoyed cardiff bay!
That's so weird! That Holiday Inn is but metres from where I live, and I remember walking in along just that route that morning, a little disappointed by the lack of snow but enjoying the bright crisp day. I might have passed you, oblivious!
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