Smile
So, we went to Brighton, and the sun shone, and the chips were soft and hot, and the seagulls were massive, and the cottaging opportunities were probably plentiful, and the first ever, paying, non-charity, ticketed Collings & Herrin Podcast (number 65, officially) at the Duke Of York's Picturehouse, was, I think, a roaring success, thanks to the pink pound and some patient babysitters. We drove down there, parked in an underground car park that was letting one car in at a time as another car left, checked in at our chosen faded, past-its-prime hotel, went down the Pier for some greasy potato-based food and - yes! - some pear cider in the blazing heat of late afternoon (Bulmers, not Magners, no idea why, but Richard Tweeted the comedian Mark Watson, "the face of Magners", to tell him it was his fault), having dropped our merchandise off at the splendid cinema, and the nice man who runs it: Jon. Just to keep Jon on his toes, and to cause him to worriedly Tweet the fact at 7.15, we took our time sauntering back up there to his cinema for soundcheck, by which time the tiny buzz I got from the pear cider had worn off and I was no longer drunk. (Damn that pear cider. Damn that Mark Watson)
This is us at the venue, which is a cinema, with a balcony and everything; the stage itself was deemed solid enough to work with; and backstage, not only did we find a handsome rider of sandwiches, Maltesers, cereal bars, posh crisps, Mars bars, chilled white wine for the lady and chocolate stars, but a whole carton of oat milk, just for me. (I was touched by this gesture, and I think I have Shahnaz to thank for insider knowledge, so thanks.) I admit I turned into a small boy the moment we touched down in Brighton, and became childishly excited by all aspects of the trip, from the car park to the Pier to the large poster of us that had been put up outside the cinema. This is a photo of it, taken after the gig, with various well-wishers poking out from behind it, and Shahnaz herself.
We supported ourselves and did 20 minutes each, solo. Because Richard is a professional comedian, and I am not, I did not attempt to match his seasoned repartee and instead taught the audience how to do Secret Dancing and gave a short lecture about the Mitford Sisters. This went down remarkably well. Then Richard came on, tried out some new material, said something shocking about Madeleine McCann and drew the most laughs by saying the words "wank" and "wee" (thus, finding the level of the sophisticated Brighton audience). After a short break, and a brief panic about an extension cable during which I had to be my own roadie, thus breaking down the fourth wall, we came back on, sat at a table with this laptop on it, and recorded the podcast in the traditional way - while soundman Chris recorded it professionally through the desk. We may release the professional version as an "extra" at some stage, but for now, the traditional podcast is available as usual. In it, we play up to the paying audience of 250 people a bit, admittedly, but still manage to cover Susan Boyle the "Hairy Angel", the resemblance of Kim Jong-il to BBC2's Stewart Lee, the allure of cottaging, the self-defeating genius of glow-in-the-dark monkeys, the perplexing but inspirational lyrics to Take That's Back For Good, the sex lives of Clare Rayner and Edwina Currie, and the return of Dane Bowers, 29.
Say hello to yourself if you were in the audience. Many of you stayed behind after school to join in the first C&H Q&A, which was fun and spanned subjects as diverse as Telly Addicts, Fawlty Towers, Jim Davidson, biscuits, Tibet and Michael Winner, by which time the chilled bottle of white wine had made Richard even more cruel and belligerent and insulting to me, but I can take it. One or two people left around the 11pm mark, but we are assuming it was because of prior arrangement with the babysitter; the majority stayed until the bitter end and, unlike Phill and Phil, who appeared here on Saturday, we did not embarrass ourselves by doing "a DJ set". Instead, we sat in our chairs as if they were thrones and signed things for the hardcore. And, from that session, here's a snap taken for Misty2K (aka Dee) by someone else in the merchandise queue:
Thanks to Jon, Chris, Shahnaz and the Duke Of York's for a splendid night out. We hope that those of you who weren't in Brighton enjoy the podcast and don't get jealous. If there is any demand for it, we might release my 10-minute lecture about the Mitford Sisters as a podcast extra.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 12:23 AM
28 Comments
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28 Comments:
There's no mistaking your fans, they are all slightly blurry and red. I could spot one a mile off!
Congratulations, sounds like it was a brilliant time had by all.
Claire
Yay, that white dot in the center is me (and my phone). Again, fab show chaps. Did you sell all nine books Andrew? I really should have had to courage to come and ask for one :(
Jonathan C, Sussex
By the way, I can also see from the first picture that I was wrong about the moobs:)
Claire
Sounds like it was fun. A query relating to the usual podcast, have either of you ever read slash?
Just a thought.
"we might release my 10-minute lecture about the Mitford Sisters as a podcast extra."
Not only that, I'd like to see an entirely new Mitford Sister weekly podcast sorted out.
Great gig Andrew, on behalf of Brighton I would like to thank you for your presence and encourage you to return at the earliest opportunity.
"If there is any demand for it, we might release my 10-minute lecture about the Mitford Sisters as a podcast extra."
Well I demand it. And that, I think you will find Mr Collins, technically counts as "any" demand.
So I eagerly await it's release.
Looking forward to it.
I'd certainly like to hear the Mitford extra.
Should I wait for the higher quality recording of the podcast? Is it likely to up in the next few days?
The cats thank you for their dedications at the front of the book - they're both big fans - though now they're telling me that they can't sodding well read, so I'm going to have to buy the audio version too!
If I just keep asking you to kiss Richard Herring for money, I will eventually wear you down and you'll do it. It's inevitable. Just you wait...
Cheers,
Juliet x
Wow, give Richard a haircut and he'd look just like everyone's least favourite rosy-cheeked, heavy-drinking, niece-leching uncle.
Definitely download the "usual quality" podcast, as we're likely only to release the extended, professional desk-quality version as an extra on a future Go Faster Stripe release we may be planning. (If we let you have a professional version of the laptop podcast, it'll spoil you. We remain indie.)
I will never kiss Richard Herring, not for all the oat milk in China. (And I like Chinese.) But keep giving money to Scope.
If you'd only SAID you wanted to go cottaging, I could have drawn you both a little map.
Glad it went well, hope the Breakfast was better than the Bed. The Duke of Yorks is lovely, isn't it?
Can I just register my demand for the Mitford Sisters extra podcast?
I know nothing of the subject, and it'd be interesting to hear how you introduce people to it.
Here's another vote for releasing the Mitford 10. Or some other wrongly imprisoned extra.
Well done on the Brighton gig - I really enjoyed it! Also took my girlfriend along and she loved it too despite having never listened to the podcast before!
put me down for the mitford sisters thing. im having trouble sleeping.
matt
How about if I give the oat milk to Scope? Though as I was sitting nearest the stage door curtain, I got the full force of Herring's noxious bum fumes at the beginning, so I sort of get why you might not want to! Remember, if you were the postman, you could plug that ungodly smell!
J x
Just out of interest, are you finding doing stuff in front of an audience is good for your confidence? It's a hell of alot different to doing stuff to cameras / in to radio mikes, I would have thought.
Just curious.
It's a good podcast, that.
This podcast is also pretty good.... and the creator is a self-conscious self-publicist.
(sorry)
Richard said at one point that monkeys take over the world in The Planet of the Apes.
Monkeys? It's apes. The clue's in the title.
Had he been drinking? (Yes.) That's the most offensive thing he's ever said. I feel I should vent my frustration somewhere.
But where?
As one of the 'various well-wishers' I'd like to say it was a bloody great night guys, here's to more live (paid) podcasts in the future!
What I want to know is how you decided who was going to be whom in that First Picture. Did you Toss?
Great gig last night - really enjoyed it. Hopefully back soon?
I sat next to a young lady, Emma from Eastbourne, I didn't have a chance to exchange numbers. Emma - f you want to stay in drop let me know or Andrew has my details???
Melvyn
Rubbish message - too much beer at the cricket!
Emma - if you want to stay in touch let me know or Andrew has my contact details?
Melvyn
Hello me :-)
(waves at indistinct but recognisable blur)
PS just to make everyone who wasn't there dead jealous - it was SUCH GOOD FUN! :-) Love you guys x
If you want to continue in the same vein of live shows I'd love to be able to watch you guys in London between the 13th and 21st August.
I know that's a very specific request but it's the only time I'm in the country :(
Stephen Fry has posted a picture of himself with a pig promoting some P.G. Wodehouse thingy on Twitter, and in the background there is a blue plaque with Nancy Mitford on it! I got foolishly excited. Thought I'd share. Jenny xxx
I would love to hear your lecture about the Mitford sisters.
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