Twix
In the transparent 63rd Collings & Herrin Podcast, we declare every penny of our expenses, including both fingers of a Twix, while discussing infinity, morality, hypocrisy, prejudice, sexism, racism, homophobia, the coming dandelion menace and what Jordan said to Richard when he met her on the GMTV sofa. For one week only, we include the Daily Telegraph among the newspapers we analyse - because it is at the centre of the expenses story - and find it much too big. Way too big. I mean, look at the size of it. It's ridiculous.
posted by Andrew Collins @ 4:20 PM
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now THAT is what I call a proper Podcast picture.
(where's the tash? Herring?)
Read the fate of Richard's Hitler moustache on his blog here.
You are both OBSESSED with me.
Ahhh, this will get me to work on Monday morning. One question though. Why is your face always the one that ends up obscured in the podcast photos? We (my colleagues and I) think your face is genial and refined, and, quite frankly, we like it a bit more than Richard's, which is mawkish.
Make Richard hold up the items next time!! If you do I will pledge a small(ish) donation to Scope by making my tutor group at work be silent in form-time for a whole week. A-ha, He can't refuse his nominated charity. A-ha-ha-ha-ha... *fade*
Love Miss O'Donnell and form 10 Andrew at St George's School.
(no I don't play them your podcast, it's a CATHOLIC school)
I was just listening to part of this week's podcast where you talked about the man who was offended by Richard's rant about excrement babies, and I wanted to let you know that even though I love the podcasts dearly, that was the one part out of the 60+ hours that I also didn't really like. I don't know why - I never get offended by anything else you've ever said, tortoises, beheadings etc included, but that part just made me feel a bit sick. He just seemed to keep on and on about it for ages, I didn't think it was very funny and I was hoping it would stop and he would move on to a new subject. As I say, I don't know why, who knows why some things offend us and some things don't, but it made me feel very uncomfortable listening it.
Still love the podcast though!
What is worrying is that my brother-in-law's initials are GM... I wonder if it was he that sent you that e-mail?!
Andrew - is there any difference between the email from the man offended by the excrement babies, and your walking out midway through Crank 2 a few weeks ago?
Quentin: yes, I had paid money to see it. Also, I hadn't watched 60 hours of Crank previously, and I didn't feel the need then to write to the producers and personally tell them that I had walked out. I know I wrote about it on my blog, but I don't flatter myself that producers of Hollywood films read my blog. The man who was offended by the bit in our podcast wrote a personal email to me telling me that he was offended. However, he never explained why it had offended him. I made it very clear in my blog entry that the producers will not have read why the woman shot in the breasts had offended me.
The producers of Crank have my money. I did not demand it back from them. As far as they're concerned, I was a paying customer. If the man had just unsubscribed from our podcast, we'd have been none the wiser as we made no income from his subscription and also have no record of how many subscriptions there are.
Is that really Quentin Blake?
Love the illustrations, Quentin.
Andrew, have you been doing some moonlighting acting work? I seem to have noticed you popping up on the show 'Lost' as the character 'Phil' http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/lostpedia/images/thumb/2/25/Phil-Dharma.png/250px-Phil-Dharma.png
Fat Steve
Ahh sod the bloke who wrote to complain with any kind of constructive criticism. Sounds like the equivalent of someone who likes the'sound' of their own voice.
Those idiots who post their opinions on Forums and blogs...they're all tossers...oh wait!
Actually, did you notice AC that Richard was in slightly better form today than before (or at least all the way through) but did you also note that he need a 'wee'.
If you go back to the couple of podcasts where he has drunk to much coffee or coke and gets a bit frantic near the end, these are also the better podcasts.
So I think the quality of the podcast is inversely proportional to the emptiness of RH's bladder.
Andrew that was a great podcast, the last minute was hilarious (the bit about you cleaning the British Library toilets for some reason still has me giggling after two days - oh by the way, was the graffiti 'collins' or 'collings'?
I know that it's probably not funny for you, but it was funny for the rest of us.
You're on your way to becoming a National Treasure I think.
I think it is fantastic that the cottaging graffiti in the British Library toilets is finally talking to you, Collings! Your heart must have done a little leap of joy when you first saw your name on the grouting!
PS - whoever wrote it on there, I agree with Richard: WRITE IT BACK ON!!
M Walker
Oh, by the way, just for the balance, I found Richard's baby/excrement rant terrifically funny, and one of his best ones. It did have a strange effect on me, giving me unpleasant thoughts at first, but I kind of liked them and now they're second nature and don't bother me at all. You have to dwell on them for a while until you get used to them. The only problem is that I now need to hear more and more and more of these vicious rants and when I don't receive them I get angry and kick things.
M Walker
A great podcast, thank you so much (again). How you fitted in so many hilarious observations and satisfying rants, I don't know. What a treat. I did that whole embarrassing "laughing out loud in public" thing when I heard that dandelions growing on lawns made page 3 news.
...You're on your way to becoming a National Treasure I think.Hmmm. National Trinket maybe.
;)
Andrew have you seen this on the word site
http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/andrew-collins-v-george-lamb-collins-called-him-a-and-now-hes-filling
Backtoblack
Thanks for the tip-off Backtoblack - it amazes me how often I have to defend myself on the forum of the one magazine I regularly write for! Why do they hate me so?
Anyway, thread hopefully neutralised.
This was undoubtedly a great podcast, I've been really enjoying it the last few weeks but this seemed to go up another gear.
On the whole baby/excrement thing, I didn't really find it that funny at first, it seemed a bit of a surrealist leap too far but it kind of clicked on this podcast, perhaps because the baby/excrement motif is being fleshed out... ...herring is now, delicately manufacturing bodily orifices and placing imaginary/supernatural characters inside. Now I get it!
I have not found any of the podcasts offensive to date, but I am keeping an open mind and hope to be offended in the future.
Congrats on the 6 music gig.
Jim
Incidentally, for once your extensive knowledge of science outstrips Richard's... neither time nor the universe are infinite.
Time is generally considered to have started along with the Big Bang, which, if the consensus is right, happened a bit under 14 billion years or so ago.
And while the universe has no 'edges', it definitely has a finite size -- although it's kind of hard to visualise why, because it would require a four-dimensional diagram.
The jury is still out on the fate of the universe, but one (albeit unpopular) theory is that it will utlimately collapse on itself in a reverse of the Big Bang, which would give "time" a finite end point as well.
Here's the blurb from a story on DigitalSpy:
"Paris Hilton says that Katie Price will be fine following her split from Peter Andre."
Is the excrement babies thing funnier than this?
NO problem for the heads up, just think it's fair that you get chance to read it, and comment/defend yourself it people are going to make inflammatory statements. It seems to have openned up a whole thing about trolling, something i was previously unaware of.
So, sorry to be the bearer of previous bad news, long may you and richard carry on being the Pete and Dud of the 21st century
Backtoblack
PS, stayed in Edinburgh over the weekend, just round the corner from the Tempting Tatty, thought of you two and actually did LOL.
On the subject of whether or not it is acceptable or unacceptable to cast aspersions about people who have been to public school. The fact is that attending a public school does give you a priviledge and increases your chances of getting a better paid job, more money and therefore feasibly a better standard of living. If a section of the population has a clear economic advantage over another then it is fair that those who do not can make generalisations about those people because they are at a disadvantage in comparision. It is similar to the fact that racism towards white people is different to racism towards black people, because white people have many more advantages than blacks. And in the same vein therefore it could also be said that women have more right to criticize men than men have to criticize women.
For the sake of comedy however, I would say anyone is fair game - even babies!
The poo-baby affair's still rumbling on, eh? I can't see the problem. It was only a bit of fun.
And in the same vein therefore it could also be said that women have more right to criticize men than men have to criticize women.Surely to criticize the system that privileges (some) men, rather than to criticize MEN.
B Davies
All generalisations are made by idiots.
Louise, I disagree completely. Whilst I understand where you are coming from, racism and sexism are just as ignorant and unacceptable no matter which way they are directed.
I agree that it is much more understandable for black people (rather than white) and women (rather than men) to get defensive and angry in the face of prejudice, because historically, and still today, they meet it far more often.
However, it is no more acceptable to be racist against white people or sexist against men. The very suggestion is not only silly, but potentially dangerous.
As a non-sexist man I am in no way responsible for the attitudes of men who are sexist, past or present. I deserve criticism for being male no more than you do for being female.
This is also why I agree with Andrew that prejudice against those with priveleged backgrounds is unnaceptable.
> All generalisations are made by idiots.
At school I had a friend whose mum said "all men are sexist". Hahaha, do you see?
Darren is correct, btw.
Ben Davies
Andrew - I'm sorry to say that I will be unsubscribing from your Podcast...
I have listened to all 63 of the official podcasts you have completed with Richard Herring, but before I abandon you and Richard I thought you would like to know where the average listener believes the boundaries of good taste lie.
I'm sorry to say that the final straw for me was your calling the Daily Mail a "newspaper". This outright falsehood was far too much for my sensitivities and so I can no longer continue to enjoy your podcast as I once did. GOODBYE FOREVER!
Keep up the great work - 63 was particularly hilarious.
And the point stands - why do people not get it - that regardless of everything, if you believe all people are equal and you shouldn't be prejudiced, then you can not be prejudiced against posh/rich people either. And no one chooses to go to public school. So to use that as a pejorative term based on no other evidence is wrong.
Of course minorities have a harder life and face more prejudice - that's not what I am talking about. I am talking about people who claim to have no prejudice, who don't mind exhibiting it when it comes to something that they disapprove of.
It's not as bad as being racist or sexist, but it should still be discouraged.
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